"Was it? 'Cause I know for a fact you also told her when you got back, and everytime you would, y/n would get 'confused' and then our relationship would get 'out-of-sync,' and if you ask me, I think it's because y/n liked you back" Elliot said.
Jake...
Rosa walked over to Charles in the bullpen as he placed some food on his plate and said "Hey. I need a good recommendation for a restaurant. It's Marcus' birthday and I want to do something... romantic."
Charles stood up and said "Ooh. Do you want like, classic, romantic? Or gastro-sensuous?"
"Ugh, never mind" said Rosa and turned away.
"I know those categories. You guys are talking dates. Here's what you do: Invite him over, order some fancy take out, throw it in a pot and act like you cooked it. I got the idea from Yahoo! Answers" said Jake, stopping Rosa.
"Dude, I'm not going to buy a pot. We're not married" Rosa said.
"Mm-kay, you know what time it is? Because my hoodie does" said Gina, turning around and showing everyone the back of her hoodie which said 'Time for Gina's opinion.'
"Look at that" you said.
"I have either two or four words for you. Drag queen. Dim sum" said Gina.
"You're talking about this Friday night? Everything's gonna be booked. We're only seventy two hours out and we're still in the brainstorming phase. You got to postpone" said Amy.
"You can't postpone a birthday, Amy" you said.
"But, if you can't get a reservation, you can always go home and shampoo his hair" suggested Charles.
"Please stop always recommending that" Jake said.
"Well, it's always romantic" Charles said.
"You can go to the top of the Empire State Building, that's very romantic" said a perp, who was in the holding cell.
"Hmm. Maybe I will" said Rosa.
"You can pee on the whole city from up there" the perp said.
Everyone groaned.
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Jake stood in front of the vending machine, trying to put money in. "Take it. Take it. Come on! This stupid machine won't take my dollar."
"That's half a dollar taped to a pizza coupon" you said.
"It's good for a cheesy bread worth $2.50. You would've made money on this deal, machine" said Jake as Terry walked in. "Hey, Sarge, can I borrow a dollar?"
"No. No more loans. You already owe me way too much. The 'Bank of Terry' is closed" said Terry, making a gesture as if he was driving a car.
"What, are you sailing away on a tugboat?" asked Jake.
"Man, I love tugboats" said Charles.
"It's not a tugboat! I'm locking the vault" Terry said.
"All right, fine, how much could I possibly owe you? Fifty, sixty bucks?" Jake asked.
"$2,437" answered Terry.
"Dollars?" asked Jake. "Wait, of course 'dollars.' Why was that the part I was surprised by?"
"Jake, I would appreciate it if you paid me back" said Terry, and left the room.
"Well, that's the craziest thing anyone's ever said to me" Jake said.
"'I would appreciate it if you paid me back'?" asked Rosa.
"Good. So you heard it too. I've been in debt to him forever and he's never cared before. Something's up. I'm gonna drop everything and figure out why he's acting weird" said Jake.
"Or you could just pay him what you owe" you suggested.
Jake laughed. "Hilarious, y/n." He continued to laugh. "Hilarious."
-------------------
You, Charles and Rosa entered the break room as Jake was telling Terry something. There was a briefcase on the table full of money.
"What's going on?" asked Rosa.
"How'd you get all that money?" asked Charles.
"Pfft, by putting bad guys behind bars. I work for a living, jeez. I emptied out my checking account" Jake answered.
"Wait, you've owed Terry for years, and now, suddenly, you give him every penny you have? Why?" you asked.
"Why? Oh, wait. Because" said Jake.
"That is not an answer" Rosa said.
"No. Well, because you guys got in my head about me owing Terry money. And it convinced me that it's important to pay back your friends" Jake said.
"Well, you owe all of us money" said Rosa. "So, does that mean you're going to pay all of us back?"
"Yeah, Jake, or is there something special about your friendship with Terry?" asked Charles.
"Nope. Nothing special about Terry. I'm going to pay everyone. Man, I really hoped to say this to a drug dealer who killed my whole family, but... It's payback time" Jake said.
--------------------
Jake crossed off something on the board at the front of the briefing room and turned to face everyone. "All right, but a nice little dent into my Terry debt. No applause? Seriously? Okay, I see how this is gonna be. All right, how much do I owe the rest of you?"
"$4,009" said Charles, looking up from some paper in front of him.
"What? How is that even possible?" Jake asked.
"June 3rd, 2008, paid for your lunch, $8.45. June 3rd, 2008, bought you a soda, $1.05. June 3rd, 2008, lent you $4,000 for an entertainment system" said Charles.
"Oh, there it is" Jake said.
"I stopped keeping track after that" said Charles.
"Sure. Sure, okay. How about the rest of you?" asked Jake.
"You owe me just about $560" you said.
"710 dollarinos" said Gina.
"$856.32" Rosa said.
"Okay, very specific. I'm sorry, you guys, but I can't pay that. It's too much money" Jake said.
"Why don't you just take back the money you gave to Terry and split it six ways. Then at least everyone gets something" said Rosa.
"Yeah, but Terry needs the money" said Jake.
"For what?" you asked.
"Uh, for butt enhancement surgery" said Jake.
"Smart. That's a real problem area for Terry" said Charles.
"Yeah" agreed Jake.
"What?" asked Terry. "I am not having butt enhancement surgery, nor do I need it!"
"Okay, so split up the money" Rosa said.
"No, no, no. How about this? I'll work off my debt to each of you. How's that sound? I'll do anything you want" said Jake.
"Anything?" asked Scully.
"Am I the only one that was super creeped out by that?" Jake asked.
"No, that was definitely creepy" you said.
"Yeah, he wants you to do something real weird" said Rosa.
