"Was it? 'Cause I know for a fact you also told her when you got back, and everytime you would, y/n would get 'confused' and then our relationship would get 'out-of-sync,' and if you ask me, I think it's because y/n liked you back" Elliot said.
Jake...
"All right, gang, diet day four. How's everyone holding up?" asked Terry as he sat down.
"Honestly, I'm going to last forever. You hear that bitches? I'm gonna last forever" said Gina.
"I'm doing great. This morning a homeless guy on the subway said my skin looked dope" Amy said.
You opened up your lunch. Inside was a sandwich, a bag of chips and an apple.
"Y/n, are you sure that you don't want to do the diet with us? Never too late to start" Terry asked.
"I'm sure. I don't do diets" you said.
"What's going on?" Holt asked, walking into the break room. "Why do you all have matching bags?"
Terry answered. "We're doing a diet together. My wife found it. She heard about at Mommy and Me Graphic Design. Wait, it might've been toddler karate. She takes our little ladies to so many classes, I can't keep it straight."
"Childhood is truly a time of wonder" said Holt.
"This diet is very scientific, sir. All the meals are pre-planned and delivered to your doorstep" Amy said.
"This is our breakfast" said Gina.
"An orange wedge, three cashew nuts, and a solitary grape" Holt said.
"It's actually more than you realize. Sometimes, I can't even finish all the grape" said Amy.
"This seems unnecessary to me. You're all in perfect shape" said Holt.
"You can always be healthier, sir" said Terry.
"And I like the challenge" Amy said.
"Plus, it's good team building. We're gonna get through this together. Hey, guys, pro tip. Lick the bag. There's food molecules in there" said Terry.
"Oh, that's so smart" Amy said, and you and Holt watched as all three of them began to lick the inside of the bags.
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"What are you two doing here? Isn't it your guys' day off?" Amy asked as she walked over to Jake's desk, where you and him were sitting.
"Yeah, stalker. It is our day off. But we are here to meet Charles. Did you hear what he did last night?" asked Jake, explaining how Charles asked him to be his best man.
"Wow. Best man" said Amy. "So, are you gonna set up shop in a strip club?"
"What kind of shop would Jake set up? Oh, my God. Hand sanitizer. You would sell hand sanitizer" you said.
"And no. I was hoping that my best man duties would be all whiskey and cigars, but this is Charles we're talking about. So we've got two straight days of wedding planning, plus, he gave me this to prep. Fancy Brudgom" said Jake, holding up a wedding magazine.
"It means 'fancy groom' in Danish" you said.
"According to Charles, the Danes throw the most beautiful weddings in the world and the most violent funerals" Jake said.
"This does not look like something you'd be into" said Amy, looking at the magazine.
"Normally, yes. But now, I am Charles' furlover. 'Best man', Danish. So it is my duty to support him, no matter what weird, crazy, Charles-y ideas he has" said Jake.
"Let's do this" Charles said, walking into the bullpen.
"There he is! My groom!" said Jake, turning round to look at Charles.
"Hello, my big, beautiful B.M" said Charles.
"'Best man.' Just 'best man' is fine" Jake said.
"I hope both of you are rested. We're gonna be on our feet all day" said Charles.
"Jake even brought some nurse shoes" you said.
"I love them!" Charles said.
"Let me grab some stuff" said Jake. "First stop, Kagesmagning! Cake tasting!"
"Yes!" you said happily and walked out of the bullpen following Jake and Charles.
---------------
"Jake, y/n, I got to tell ya, the engaged life is amazing, especially sexually" said Charles.
"Well, we don't want to pry" Jake said.
"You're not prying. I want you to know this" said Charles. "Vivian and I have a wonderful intercourse itinerary that we have planned."
"Ah, ha! I'm usually more of a chocolate guy, but this one's closer, so I'm gonna do that" Jake said as the cake was placed on the table.
Jake took a bite of his slice just as you were about to put some in your mouth.
"Oh! Hot, hot! Spicy cake! Why?" said Jake.
"That's habanero pepper frosting, because our marriage is going to sizzle" Charles said.
You scoffed. "It can't be that bad, Jake."
You took a bite of the cake, and had to force yourself to swallow it.
"Oh, my God! That is disgusting!" you exclaimed.
"Unless either of you think it's a bad idea" Charles said.
"No. Sounds like a great idea, Oprah" said Jake, his mouth full.
-------------------
You and Jake were sat waiting for Charles to put on a tuxedo.
"Okay, be kind, I don't have a model's body like Jake" said Charles, looking out from behind the door.
"Come on, show us what you got" you said.
Charles exited the changing room wearing a bright, white suit with a top hat. "Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly."
"Liberance, Diane Keaton" said Jake.
"Roger that" Charles said, and went back into the changing room.
Five minutes later, Charles exited the changing room wearing a Scottish kilt.
"Charles, Charles. You're not Scottish. Yeah, get back in there, Braveheart" said Jake.
Then, Charles came out of the changing room wearing another suit.
"Summer linen suit" Charles said. "Casual, but classic."
"Actually not bad" you said.
"One question - Can you see my underwear?" asked Charles.
"Ah, thong! Why are you wearing a thong?" you asked.
