You, Jake and Charles were walking along a corridor.
"Jake, this is so great. I shot a guy in the face. He is so mad at me" said Charles excitedly.
"Nice" said Jake.
"All right, this hallway is clear. I think we killed them all" you said.
"It's a regular paint bath" Jake said.
"Like bubble bath" Charles said.
"No, like blood bath" Jake said.
"Yeah, right" said Charles.
"Meet in the basement. Here we go!" said Jake.
"Hyah" said Charles, and did an awkward role on the floor.
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"Okay, me, Boyle and y/n took down nine. Rosa and Amy got fourteen. Hitchcock and Scully?" asked Jake.
"Were killed immediately" said Scully, covered in paint.
"Yeah, we're dead" said Hitchcock, who had paint on his forehead.
"We also disarmed and captured all these guys, so is that all the terrorists?" you asked.
"Not quite" said someone from behind you and Jake. He walked into the room, and held his gun to Jake's head. "Drop the weapons, everyone. Drop 'em right now. It's over. You lost. Drop them now or -"
Terry came out of nowhere, and shot the man in the back. "You're dead, crap sack."
"All right, Sarge! You decided to be cool!" said Jake.
"I'm always cool. I also couldn't spend another second listening to those ATF wads bitch and moan" Terry said. He explained what happened.
"Kinda sounds like it was just about your weight issues" said Jake.
"I'm not gonna lie. That did strike a chord. But I also didn't like the stuff they we're saying about us. Look, I'm proud to be a cop. This drill is over. Let's get the hell outta here. Drinks on me" said Terry.
"Nine-Nine!" said Amy.
Everyone cheered.
"Oh, my God, it worked" Amy said.
"Let's go" said Terry, and Jake checked his phone.
"And nothing from Sophia" he said, causing Charles to turn around.
"Um, whoa, whoa, whoa. Um, we're not quite finished yet. I know I, for one, am not done kicking bootay" said Charles.
"Dude, there's no more terrorists" Jake said.
"No, but there's more catharting to do. We can make everyone regret ever taping us to chairs in the first place. Sarge?" said Charles.
"It seems unnecessary to piss everyone off" said Terry.
"I heard one of the Marshals call you Jiggly Jeffords" Charles said.
"What? Give me another clip" Terry said.
"Now we're talking. You two are tied, right? Settle that score. Y/n, you love exercises like this. Jake, what do you say? Want to go after the Marshals. And this butt from Homeland? Get yourself a real win?" asked Charles.
"I don't know, Boyle. I mean, they're the good guys. And that would make us... The bad guys. Noice" said Jake.
"So you're in?" Charles asked.
"Oh, I'm in" Jake said. He pulled out his gun. "I'm in all the way to hell. And when I get there, I gonna see your dog, Molly. Let's go, squad."
Everyone ran out of the room, apart from Charles who said "That was really unnecessary."
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"Jake, come outside. I have Kendrick here" you yelled.
Jake walked out.
"Peralta, what are you doing? You're NYPD, you're supposed to be hostages" said Kendrick, annoyed.
"Supposed to be. But we rose up, and took down the terrorists. That's right. We're the bad guys now" Jake said.
"Is this some sort of game to you?" asked Kendrick.
"Does this sound like a game to you? I am a terrorist leader. My name is Francis Gruber. My brother, Hans, died at Nakatomi Tower at the hands of John McClane. Also, I'm related to Jeremy Irons from the third one" said Jake.
Kendrick was unimpressed. "Okay, so it is a game. Well, I'm not playing. Drill's over. Drill's over, boys."
"Yeah, that sounds right. We're not on the same level. And apparently, you're at the level that can't handle us" Jake said.
"You trying to goad me, Peralta? 'Cause I'm in charge here, and I don't have to engage with mall cops. But I will" said Kendrick.
"Say it, don't spray it" Jake said.
"I'm in. What are your demands?" Kendrick asked.
"A guarantee that this drill doesn't end until one of us is dead" said Jake.
"Also, one large pizza with fennel sausage. Brick oven, otherwise it's sog city. And Scully needs some Gas-o-Nex. Extra strengh" said Charles.
"Chewable!" shouted Scully as Charles closed the door.
"Okay, so a fight to the death, pizza and Gas-o-Nex" said Kendrick.
"Chewable" said Scully.
"You have thirty minutes to meet our demands. After that, we paint ball a hostage every fifteen minutes" Jake said.
"Got yourself a deal, Gruber" Kendrick said, and him and Jake shook hands.
"Get us those demands. We'll be waiting" Jake said.
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"We're not waiting one second. Those demands were a ruse" said Jake.
"They were? I really need that Gas-o-Nex. I think there was some dairy in the cheese I ate for breakfast" Scully said.
"We're not gonna hang around like sitting ducks. We're gonna take the fight to them. Like some waddling ducks! If the waddling was super fast and cool" said Jake.
"Like some boss-ass penguins" said Terry.
"Yes! I'm so glad you're back on our side, Sarge" Jake said. "Okay, let's destroy some good guys."
YOU ARE READING
Brooklyn 99: Jake Peralta x Reader
Fanfiction"Was it? 'Cause I know for a fact you also told her when you got back, and everytime you would, y/n would get 'confused' and then our relationship would get 'out-of-sync,' and if you ask me, I think it's because y/n liked you back" Elliot said. Jake...
