Brooklyn 99: Jake Peralta x Reader

Sabotage Part 2

You, Amy and Rosa walked down the street, carrying coffee. You stopped when you saw Jake.

"Y/n? Rosa? Amy? What are you guys doing here?" asked Jake.

"Our non-suspended jobs. You're not supposed to be investigating" answered Rosa.

"I'm not, I'm sightseeing, just as Amy suggested" said Jake.

"At Brooklyn Urine and Blood?" Amy asked.

"Oh, yeah, the internet says this is the number one urinalysis lab in all of New York" said Jake. "Fun tourist selfie! Boink! Not your best. Anyways, I'm going to take a 'walking tour' in here, while you guys ask a couple of questions, and also, I've been waiting for twenty minutes. Where have you been?"

"We had to find the addresses of all seventy-eight people you said might want to hurt you" you said.

"Uh-huh. And was there another stop along the way?" Jake asked.

"We got coffee" Rosa said.

"Those are cappuccinos. You know how long it takes to foam that milk? Time you could have spent on my case, but I guess it's just froth over friends with you three" Jake said.

"We were thirsty!" you said.

"Anyways, let's do this" said Jake, walking away.

"Jake. I can't believe I'm about to say this. I really wish you could come look at urine with us, but you can't" said Amy.

"You're suspended.  Go home" you added, as you, Amy and Rosa walked into the building.

"All right, fine. If you guys won't help me, I guess I'll just get myself off" said Jake. A woman looked at him weirdly. "Context. Context was important on that one."

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Amy drove her car down the road with you sat in the front next to Amy, and Rosa in the back.

"You know your turning signal's been on for thirty seconds" said Rosa.

"I like to announce my turning intention. This isn't the Indy 500" Amy said defensively.

"Well, when you finally change lanes an hour from now, we should go talk to Jake's super - See if there was a power outage" said Rosa.

"What?" asked Jake, poking his head up.

You all screamed and Rosa turned around and punched Jake as the car came to a sudden holt.

"Why would you do that?" asked Jake, climbing next to Rosa. "I just broke into your car and then popped up without warning. Not cool."

"What the hell are you doing?" you asked.

"I thought I was hitching a ride to Rikers so we could interview some convicts I put away, but apparently you're still wasting time investigating me" answered Jake. 

"Hey, it's your fault we have to check up on your power outages. You have three mini-fridges plugged into the same outlet" Rosa said.

 "Three mini-fridges are cheaper than one regular one" Jake said.

"We're just doing our jobs. Why don't you trust us?" asked Amy.

"How can I? You didn't even know I had broken into your car. And while you three were busy lolly-gargling, I'm not familiar with the expression - I was investigating. I'll send you some selfies" said Jake.

"Look, we're gonna get to your list. We just have to rule out other possibilities first. There is a real chance that no one is after you and this is just bad luck" you said.

"Yeah, but I'm telling you that someone is. That should be enough" Jake said.

"And we told you to trust us. That should be enough" Amy said.

"All right, fine, you don't want my help? You're not gonna get it" said Jake, climbing out the car.

"Dude..." said Rosa, as he slammed the door.

"In fact, I'm deleting your numbers from my phone" Jake said.

"Just let us take you home" said Amy.

"See you never" Jake said.

"Fine" Amy said, starting to drive again.

The car drove off, leaving Jake alone.

"Where am I?" he asked.

An ice cream truck jingle played. Jake dove out of the way of the truck, avoiding getting hit. The truck stopped. Someone climbed out.

"Hello, Peralta" said Geoffrey Hoytsman, aiming a gun at Jake. 

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You knocked on the window to an ice cream truck and said "You open?"

"Hello, ma - whoa!" said Hoytsman as Rosa grabbed him by the collar and dragged him to the ground. You and Amy aimed your guns at him. "Don't hurt me! I'm someone's little boy."

"Geoffrey Hoytsman, you're under arrest!" said Amy.

"Ow" said Hoytsman. 

Five minutes later, Hoytsman was in handcuffs and you were helping Jake undo the straps that Hoytsman put him in.

"Oh, I am so relieved you guys found me. Wait, how did you find me?" said Jake. 

"You hadn't done anything super annoying to us for, like, five hours. So we knew something was wrong" said Rosa.

"Oh, that's very insulting, but dead on" said Jake.

"We looked through those irritating selfies you sent us, and in the background of three of them, was an ice cream truck" you said.

"We ran the plates and put out an APB" said Amy.

"I'm sorry we doubted anybody was sabotaging you" Rosa said.

"No, I'm the one who should apologize. For some reason, I have trouble believing people actually have my back. I don't know why. Probably my dad abandoning me. Maybe something I should work out in therapy, but... Who has an hour to spare once every two weeks, right?" Jake said. He laughed. "Anyways, I'm sorry I acted like a jackass."

"Wow, Jake, you're so sincere since you got off coke" you said.

"And meth. That was the hard one to kick" said Jake.

"No, the hard one to kick is angel dust, which is why I am locked in for life" said Hoytsman.

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Jake shouted from Holt's office: "Everyone in!"

Everyone on the squad walked into Holt's office. 

"I don't have your badge or your gun. Just take form 891_J down to the equipment room and retrieve your things there" said Holt, handing Jake the form.

"I'm sorry, but that's unacceptable" Jake said.

"Come on, Captain. I need this" said Charles.

"We all need this" you said.

"Fine. Fine. If this will make you happy" said Holt. Holt took off his badge and gun. He placed them down on the desk. "I believe these belong to you. Congratulations."

Everyone clapped loudly.

"Thank you. But as I've said before, the system stinks, and this isn't over. I say we march down to City Hall!" said Jake.

"Get out of my office" Holt said.

"Yup" said Jake.

Okay, but there's only like four more episodes of season two.