"Okay, if Freddy's still in town, Benny de Conti will know about it. He owns the restaurant they all eat at. He knows everything about everything" said Jake, pointing at the board.
"Good. Hey, when you were undercover, did you, like, have a mafia best friend?" Charles asked.
"Really, Charles?" you asked.
"I'm not jealous, I'm just wondering" said Charles.
"Uh, I don't know, I guess I did a bunch of jobs with a guy named Derek" answered Jake.
"Great. Great. Derek. Sounds like a great guy" Charles said.
"Charles, don't do this to yourself, all right?" said Jake.
"Okay, fine. All right, so we're going to the restaurant. What's my cover? Am I in the mob? Ooh, I've got the perfect thing" Charles said, pulling a hat out of his jacket pocket.
"A sun hat?" you asked.
Charles put the hat on and started to use an old man's voice. "Mafia!"
"No, just be yourself, a cop. Y/n can be an innocent bystander" said Jake. "Benny might think I'm a rat, so I'll go in and talk to him with y/n sat at a table close by. Then you come in a minute later with your badge out, pick a fight with me, and punch me in the face."
"No, I could never hurt you, Jake" Charles said.
"Well, you gotta hit me somewhere" Jake said.
Charles sighed. "Fine, it'll be the balls then."
"No! Just hit me in the face. Look, if it's so hard, imagine I'm somebody you hate" said Jake.
"Derek" Charles said instantly.
"I barely know him!" Jake said.
"Fine" said Charles.
"Come on" you said.
------------------
Jake walked into the restaurant, and you sat down at a table a few meters away.
"Benny" said Jake, walking up to the bar.
"What are you doing here? Not for nothing. I heard you were arrested" Benny said.
"I made bail" said Jake.
"Ahh" said Benny.
"Look, I'm looking for Freddy. You seen him?" Jake asked.
"It's funny. A lot of people are looking for that guy. Lot of cops, especially. Didn't you used to be a cop, Jake?" said Benny. "I'm just kidding, man. I know you, we sang Piano Man together. Look, I can't tell you where Freddy is. But I can tell you his girl, Bianca, just called in. You know, Freddy's regular order delivered to her address."
"Thank you so much. See ya" said Jake, turning around as Charles walked into the restuarant.
"Well, if it isn't Jake Peralta. Mafia crapbag" Charles said.
"Get out of here, Boyle. I know that we used to be friends, and during that time we would do all kinds of cool things together like make plans, but that has changed, all right?" said Jake.
Charles punched Jake.
"Ow!" Jake said.
"Now the balls" said Charles.
"What? Ohh!" said Jake in pain, and fell to the floor.
--------------
You, Jake and Charles were driving to Bianca's apartment.
"I am so sorry" said Charles.
"What the hell, Boyle? What the hell happened?" asked Jake.
"I-I-I was stressed about hitting you, and my mind disassociated from my body. I don't even know what I did" Charles said.
"Oh, well, let me remind you. You punched me, kicked me, spat on me, and then you said: 'There's more where that came from. Got a real wet mouth'" Jake said.
"You gotta admit, it's a pretty tough line" said Charles.
"No, it's not. It's weird and sexual, and not in the good way" said Jake.
"The only good news is that Benny couldn't possibly think that we planned that. Jake's cover is safe" you said.
The car pulled to a stop outside an apartment building.
"All right, Bianca lives here. I'm gonna go in alone. If I need backup, I will hit the clicky button on my keys" said Jake.
"Copy that" Charles said.
"Time to get back into character. Cologne me, bro" said Jake.
Charles got the bottle of cologne. "Okay, here we go."
Charles sprayed the bottle, and Jake said "Aww! It stings. The cuts. It stings. Stings!"
"I can't stop hurting you. What is wrong with me?" asked Charles.
"Okay, keep going" Jake said.
You and Charles had been sitting in the car for a while, when the car unlocked, and then locked. It carried on doing that for a while.
Charles groaned as he tried to open the door. "Come on.
You and Charles eventually got out of the car, but Charles had forgotten his gun.
"Charles, stay here. I'll go in" you said, and ran inside the building just as Charles got his gun.
You banged open the door. "NYPD, drop your weapon."
Bianca shrieked.
"All right, Bianca. What do you know about a guy named Derek?" Charles asked.
"Charles, no" said Jake.
----------------
"Just tell us where Freddy is" you said.
"I'm not gonna sell out Freddy. We're in love. He introduced me to his children as his favorite assistant" said Bianca.
"Come on, he has a dozen mistresses and six girlfriends" Jake said.
"Freddy loved me. He implied that many times. There's nobody else, okay" Bianca said.
"Yeah, there is. I just wish I could remember who. So many people were sleeping with each other, it's kinda hard to keep track. Well, I actually thought of a song that helps me remember" said Jake. He began to sing: "Mario is doing it with Teresa. Teresa is doing it with Paulie. Paulie is doing it with Lisa. And Lisa is doing it with Anthony. Freddy is cheating with Bianca G. But also with her younger sister, Valerie."
"No" said Bianca.
"Oh, yeah. I saw them together, that's why it's in the song" Jake said.
"I knew it! Ooh, that son of a bitch! All right, fine. He's going to the Teterboro Airport. Because Freddy is going to Barbados" said Bianca.
"Oh, well, well, well. Good thing someone came prepared" Charles said, putting on his sunhat.
"We're not going to Barbados. Also you look ridiculous in that hat" you said.
"We're gonna stop the plane. Come on" said Jake, standing up and leaving.
"Right. Let's go" Charles said.
YOU ARE READING
Brooklyn 99: Jake Peralta x Reader
Fanfiction"Was it? 'Cause I know for a fact you also told her when you got back, and everytime you would, y/n would get 'confused' and then our relationship would get 'out-of-sync,' and if you ask me, I think it's because y/n liked you back" Elliot said. Jake...
