You and Jake were standing at the shooting range when Teddy and Amy walked over. Amy picked up a gun and put on her safety glasses and took two shots.
"Nice. Have you noticed they moved the trigger?" Teddy asked. "Real exciting finger feel."
"'Finger feel'? Really?" Jake asked.
Teddy picked up a gun and took two shots.
"Nice! Two to the chest. Textbook shooting" said Amy.
"Yeah, and his overalls fell down. I can't believe you would kill a farmer. The backbone of our nation's economy" you said.
"May I? When it comes to shooting patterns, I like to go PB&J. Penis, brain, jaw" Jake said, taking Teddy's gun.
"Nice shooting, man, but do you think the penis is an effective target?" asked Teddy. "Interesting fact: A man can run half a mile with no genitals."
"That's a weird thing to know a lot about" you said as Jake handed Teddy his gun.
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You were all standing around outside the course, when Jake slid over on his knees.
In a bad English accent, Jake said "Rex Buckingham at your service."
"That was majestic" said Charles as Jake stood up.
"Custom kneepads to help me win coolest kill" said Jake. "What, don't tell me old Buckingham is the only chap here with a signature move."
"Uh, no. I'm working on a thing where when I'm out of ammo, I release my mag and dropkick it straight into someone's throat" Charles said, trying to demonstrate. "Oh! My buttholes!"
"Okay, I know you have two bullet wounds in your butt, but you've gotta stop calling them your 'buttholes'" said Amy.
"You know how people hold their guns sideways to look cool? It got me thinking. What if you held your gun upside-down? You can use that" suggested Scully.
"That will never happen, my American friend" Jake said.
"Eight-Two's done. Heads up" you said.
"Hey. How'd it go?" Amy asked Teddy.
"It went well. We had a perfect run. And not to brag, but I think we just set an NYPD course record for time" said Teddy.
"Definitely a brag" you said.
"A course record? That is so cool" Amy said.
"Oh, thanks. I'm psyched" said Teddy. "Hey, good luck in there."
Teddy walked away, and Jake said "All right, huddle up. This is how it's going down."
"What happened to your accent, Rex?" asked Rosa.
"Forget that crap. We're taking this seriously" said Jake. "All right, on three. Let's break that course record and be the best precinct here. Ready? One, two, three!"
"Let's break that course record and..." everyone said together, jumbling up the last few words.
"Yeah, I sgree, it was too many words. Let's do it!" you said, walking in to the course.
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"Okay, I've got the details for this simulation. A group of armed men have entered an embassy and have taken hostages" said Terry.
"Which embassy?" you asked.
"Doesn't matter" answered Terry.
"Fine. Canada, then" said Jake. "So take out the perps, clear the civilians, rescue the hostages?"
YOU ARE READING
Brooklyn 99: Jake Peralta x Reader
Fanfiction"Was it? 'Cause I know for a fact you also told her when you got back, and everytime you would, y/n would get 'confused' and then our relationship would get 'out-of-sync,' and if you ask me, I think it's because y/n liked you back" Elliot said. Jake...
