Charles walked into the bullpen to see that Marvin wasn't at his desk. He turned to where you, Amy, Rosa and Marvin were sitting, drinking some tea/coffee/water.
"What the hell? Are you throwing a tea party for this monster?" he asked.
"He was sitting in processing, and he just looked so lonely" you said.
"This guy is guilty. He confessed to me, but now he's pretending he didn't" said Charles.
"You must have misheard me. I didn't do anything except being charmed by these three lovely people" Marvin said.
"Oh, cut it with the sweet-old-coot routine. You're going to jail, my friend, in a trolley named Charles" Charles said.
"A trolley?" asked Rosa.
"Trolleys are cool. They have the bells. You know what? Just take your drinks and leave my perp alone, please" said Charles.
As you, Rosa and Amy stood up, Marvin said "Thank you for bringing a little sunshine into my gray life."
You all smiled at him, before walking back to your desks.
Soon after, Charles stood up from the table where Marvin was sat and said "Y/n, you heard him. Tell me you heard him."
"What?" you asked.
"Son of a bitch!" said Charles as Marvin waved at you.
--------------------
Jake and Gina entered the bullpen, and you stood up and walked over to them.
"Hey, how'd it go with Kevin? Are you going to admit that everything's your fault?" you asked.
"No, y/n, because none of this is my fault" said Jake as Terry walked over.
"Except for how you meddled in the captain's life today, possibly causing repercussions in his marriage that could last a lifetime" Gina said.
"Yes, that is completely on me, but, y/n, you didn't know that, so you were still wrong" Jake said.
"You two need to go. You're not supposed to be here, and the captain's at a new level of anger: Constant smiling" said Terry.
"It's horrible" you said.
"All smiling's horrible. This is worse" Rosa said from her desk.
"We're here so I can activate the Holy Network of Administrative Assistants, acronym HNAA. We high-level assistants keep track of what's going on with all the bosses" said Gina. She raised her voice so Amy could here properly. "Jealous, Amy?"
"Yeah, I'd tap that" said Amy. "Network. I'd tap that network. That's a thing people say."
"Yeah? No" Jake said.
---------------
You, Jake and Gina walked into the evidence room.
"Okay, so here's what I learned. The chief's assistant, Ryan, was only pretending to have Mono" said Gina.
"Okay, Gina, about Holt" Jake said.
"Fine. Apparently, he was supposed to meet Deputy Chief Ash near his fencing club at 9:30, but he cancelled at the very last minute with no explanation" Gina said.
"HNAA does it again" said Jake. "Okay, so something happened between fencing and coffee. We just have to figure out what."
"Totes, but first, let's check in with Ryan on how to fake mono 'cause if I can nail that - Ooh, game changer" said Gina.
----------------
You, Jake and Gina were standing outside Holt's fencing club.
"Okay, so Captain Holt leaves fencing and heads north" you said, pointing north.
"If we really want to do this, we got to get in his head. We have to be Captain Holt" said Jake. He started speaking in a deeper voice. "Hello, Gina. Good morning, Detective l/n. How does this sound?"
"Captain Holt, is that you? Oh, no, it's Jake nailing your voice exactly" said Gina.
"Right? The trick is to find a key phrase you know exactly how he'd say. Mine is 'Peralta, that's enough'" said Jake.
"Seriously, Jake. This is getting scary" Gina said.
Jake laughed in Holt's voice.. "Come with me, young, wise assistant and detective. Let us walk in this direction. Oh, a hot dog. Would I stop? Not for one of those, I wouldn't. Damn it, it's morphing into British."
"Do your catchphrase" you said.
"Peralta, that's enough" said Jake. "And I'm walking with purpose. And I'm walking with purpose. And bingo."
"A door. It's a Narnia situation" Gina said.
"No, but I love that. It's a security camera. If something happened to Holt when he walked past here, we'd be able to see it" Jake said. He spoke in Holt's voice: "Peralta, you genius."
"Mm, that does not sound like him" you said.
---------------------
The elevator dinged, and Jake and Holt walked out. Holt walked through the gate first, and didn't bother to hold the gate open for Jake.
"Eek, blast of cold air coming out of that box" said Gina.
"Name of Amy's sex tape" said Jake.
Amy was walking past. "Hey, man, come on. Not cool."
"I'm going through something. Just let me have this one" Jake said.
"I'm sorry you wasted your chit, Jake" Gina said.
"It's all right. I want to apologize to Holt, but it seems personal, and I'm not supposed to talk to him about personal stuff" said Jake.
"I guess you need to think of some professional way to make it up to him" you said.
"Wait a minute. Y/n, that's it. I just had an idea." Jake switched to Holt's voice. "Peralta, you're a genius.""
"Who was that, ScarJo?" asked Gina.
"No, ScarJo doesn't sound like that" you said.
"It was Holt, and I think you both know that" said Jake.
"I thought it was ScarJo" Gina said.
--------------------
Holt walked out of his office. "Attention, squad, quick announcement. Overtime is reinstated, and you are each allowed two personal photographs, two trinkets and three assorted knickknacks. You know what? Just follow Sergeant Jeffords' lead. He always knows how to keep this place running smoothly."
"Nice, so rubber band balls are back" said Jake.
"Oh, no, it's bad for the bands" said Holt as Kevin entered the bullpen. "Ah, Kevin. Let me just get my coat."
"Hello, Peralta, l/n. Gina" said Kevin.
"Oh, sweet lords of dance, thank you. We're back on a first name basis" Gina said.
"Kevin, I am unable and unwilling to discuss personal matters with you" Jake said.
"I am aware of that, yes. In any case, thank you for your help. I brought you all gifts: Original Raymond Holts" said Kevin, handing you all canvas.
Gina gasped.
"I will treasure this painting of a rock for all times" Jake said.
You, Jake and Gina showed Holt the paintings.
"Ah, rock 59, 78 and 367. Those are good rocks" said Holt.
"367 paintings of one rock? This guy parties!" said Jake enthusiastically.
YOU ARE READING
Brooklyn 99: Jake Peralta x Reader
Fanfiction"Was it? 'Cause I know for a fact you also told her when you got back, and everytime you would, y/n would get 'confused' and then our relationship would get 'out-of-sync,' and if you ask me, I think it's because y/n liked you back" Elliot said. Jake...
