“Okay Eli Lloyd. I will see you later. I’m being page 9-1-1 to the ambulance bay.” Miranda said looking at her pager and letting go of his hands.
Miranda had been seeing Eli for a few months now. He was a nice guy but she didn’t want a relationship with him, and the sex was okay, all she wanted was a good release and he supplied that for now.
Miranda rushed down to the pit going to find some interns to wait with her at the ambulance bay. “Grey, little Grey, and Kepner your with me.” She called out catching their attention. She tied her yellow disposable gown around her waist and waited for the ambulance to arrive.
“What do we have.” Kepner asked her attending.
“incoming trauma” Miranda said as herself, Meredith, Lexie, and Kepner waited in the ambulance bay “Car accident on the highway, car vs truck, the truck won”
“Do we know how bad it is?” asked Meredith.
“No, but we’re about to find out” Miranda said as the ambulance pulled up, the doors swung open and the paramedics jumped out.
“Benjamin Warren, 33, GCS 5. BP of 100 over palp. Pulse in the 120s, he’s been drifting out of consciousness since we pulled him out….why are you just staring?”
“He’s h-he’s my uh Benjamin Warren” Miranda gasped standing frozen in her spot. Shaking. She hasn’t seen him since she broke up with him all those months ago.
Callie noticed from the pit the confusion outside so she jogged over and gasped seeing Miranda’s Ex.
“Grey, Kepner, can you handle this?”
“I can do it.” Miranda said dismissing them.
“Are you sure Miranda, we can just page Webber or Hunt to do it.”
“No I can do it , I’m gonna do it.” Miranda said firmly.
“Ok, Ben , we’ve got you” Miranda said looking straight into eyes “I’ve got you.”
“Miranda.” Ben croaked out as they pushed him into the building.
“Hey, I’m here” Miranda said looking down at him.
“I was, I wanted to tell her, tell her ,tell her that I love her, promise me."
Miranda's heart felt like it was falling into the pit of her stomach… he moved on and was in love with someone else. Her heart was shattering in a million pieces but she would honor his wishes “Who do you want me to tell Ben?” Miranda asked.
“Tell M-Miranda Bailey, that I’m in love with her still and that I--- never stopped.”
Miranda’s eyes widened, he didn’t realize that he was talking to her. He was in love with her.
“I promise” Miranda said squeezing his hand.
“We’re losing him” Meredith shouted.
“I love Mir….” The monitors began to beep frantically.
“Oh my God” Callie gasped.
“He can’t …Get the crash cart” Miranda barked
“Charging to 250….clear…..nothing, charging to 300….clear…. Benjamin Warren don’t do this to me…..charging to 350….clear….”
“We’ve got a pulse” Meredith called out looking at the monitor.
“He needs a CT. And uh a"
Miranda couldn’t even think straight. She placed her hand on her head and gasped for air. She felt like she was going to be sick.
“Bailey you’re off the case.” Richard said walking into the room.
“But ,Sir.” Miranda said eyeing and challenging him.
“Nope Miranda you’re off the case. I don’t care how hard you give me the Bailey eyes. You are too close to this.”
Miranda held up her hand to silence Webber “He needs a CT and his abdomen is distended so there’s blood probably filling up in there. I need to get him to surgery immediately.” Miranda said breaking down into tears.
Callie grabbed Miranda’s arm pulling her out of the room.
“Miranda come with me.”
Callie and Miranda walked to an empty conference room and she sat in a chair with her face in her hands.
“Miranda are you okay?"
“No I just want him to be okay. I need him to alright.” Miranda cried, she was now seriously regretting all the time she spent away from him. Here she was sleeping with another man and he was still in love with her the entire time.
Miranda went into the gallery and she watched Richard and Derek work on Ben. “Gosh there is a lot of blood.” Miranda said out loud even though they couldn’t hear her.
“Grey more suction.” Miranda said as her hands shook. She hated being on the outside looking in.
Suddenly she looked at the screen as he started coding.
“Oh God Ben.” Miranda gasped standing up.
“Get the paddles.” Miranda yelled.
Miranda watched in horror as they charged the paddles, again and again.
Miranda went over to the intercom and she frantically yelled “ Bring him back now. I don’t care what you have to do. He is not dying today.”
Miranda couldn’t take this anymore. She grabbed a mask from the container and rushed into the O.R.
“Miranda it’s nothing we can do.” Richard said.
“Derek, hit his chest.” Miranda said.
Derek turned staring at her sadly.
“Please.” Miranda begged.
Derek nodded and struck his chest. “God bring him back. He wasn’t done living yet. You can’t have him yet.” Miranda looked up in the ceiling even though her tears were clouding her vision.
Then she heard it. The heart beat on the monitor. “Oh thank God. Thank you God.” Miranda cried out as she sucked in air.
She felt like she was going to be sick. “Miranda I need you to leave now.” Richard said nicely.
“Oh sure after you just about killed him.” Miranda sneered.
Ben’s surgery was complete and they were transferring him into a room now. She started walking down the hall to his room. She had a determined look on her face.
“Dr. Bailey.” Eli said as he walked up to her.
“Uh hey” Miranda said getting ready to walk pass him.
“What’s wrong you look stressed.” Eli inquired.
“Oh I just have a lot on my mind and I probably am stressed as well.”
“I can help you with that, how about my car, or the on call room.”
Miranda looked up at him and scrunched her nose up in disgust.
“No to those, so what about our conference room.” He asked rubbing the top of her arms.
“Eli none of those will help. I don’t need that and it was the last thing on my mind. I really need to get where I was going, so if you will excuse me.” Miranda said moving out of his grasp and walking off.
When she got to his room. She looked at all the other doctors that were in there before she looked at him. She hated the scratches that was on his chiseled to perfection face. He even had cuts on his neck. Just a year ago, she was kissing his face and her tongue traveled across his neck in those same spots.
Shaking her head to keep her tears a bay. She just stood beside his bed. He had the head wrap on his head and she watched as a resident dressed wounds on his chest. Before they put the gown on top.
“He’s fine Miranda, it might be a while before he wakes up. He should be very tired and when he does it’s possible that he will be in shock.” Derek said as he touched her shoulder before walking out of the room.
Miranda took a seat as everyone left. She just watched him, thinking and playing with her hands in the process. Miranda couldn’t even remember the logical reason why she broke up with this man. It all made sense then but it seemed so silly, irrelevant and childish now.
She loved him and loves him now. She knew that then and it scared the living hell out of her. He was perfect, like literally if price charming were to appear out of a fairytale book and come into modern day. It was him. Benjamin Warren. She didn’t know what to do with that then, so scared that she would mess it up and it would end and it would tear her world apart. Similar to what she was feeling now and that was at the thought of loosing him and not having him.
It was so blurry back then but it was clear as a sunny day now and she wished she could take it back and spend all those missed moments, cuddles, kisses, hugs, dates, sex and quality time with him.
“Uggh” she heard Ben groan followed by a cough.
“Oh Ben.” Miranda cried for joy as she got out of her seat. She stood over him as his eyes opened up.
“Your okay.” Miranda said. She was so happy she couldn’t help her self but to lean down and passionately kiss him. She moved her lips against his and then pecked his lips softly 3 times.
“Miranda.” Ben asked confused.
“Yes.” She replied.
“Ive died and went to heaven.”
“What.” Miranda asked confused.
“Miranda you took a break and now you are kissing me, surely I am dead” Ben said.
“You are alive and thank God. I need you here, to be with me” Miranda said seriously.
“What about the tape and the glue.” Ben asked concerned.
“Ben I realized today that you are my tape and glue.” Miranda said sincerely.
“I love you.” Ben said earnestly.
“I know you told me and I love you too.”
“I told you.” Ben asked confused once again.
“ Yeah when you first came into the pit you thought you were talking to another doctor talking about me but you were talking to me.” Miranda explained.
“Ohhh.” Ben coughed again. “He chucked before saying “I’m tired.”
“A car accident and surgeries will do that to you. Get some rest. I promise I will be here when you wake up.” Miranda assured him.
“You better be because I would be pissed off if this is a dream.”
“Ben Warren.” Miranda laughed before she leaned down and kissed his head.
*Months later *
“Hey baby.” Ben said walking up to her.
Miranda smiled after logging off of the computer after looking for the scans of her patient.
“Hey baby. You sure do get a round for a man that has a boot on his foot.” Miranda said cheerily.
“I’m not cripple. I tried to tell you and that doctor that I don’t need this.” Ben said playfully pouting.
“Well your scans said other wise.”
Miranda told him seriously. “Did you go to therapy today?”
“No, I’m going later on today.”
“Okay.” Miranda replied. Walking over to the OR boar.
Ben grabbed her by her waist before she could get there and pulled her in for a passionate kiss which she happily accepted and kissed him back. When they pulled apart Miranda looked around and caught Eli’s gaze. Ben followed her movement and noticed Eli looking at them as well.
“Why is that guy always staring at you or us.” Ben said as he watched him walk away.
“There might have been a little thing there one time.” Miranda said embarrassed to say.
“One time.” Ben asked raising an eyebrow.
“Do you really want to know the answer to that.” Miranda asked staring into his eyes.
“On our break.” Ben’s voice got louder. “So this wasn’t a break you broke up with me.” Ben said in disbelief.
“Yeah but I thought you knew that.” She replied sheepishly.
“No I didn’t know that Miranda. So you mean to tell me this whole time I was walking around a single man.” Ben asked crossing his arms.
“Oh please it was almost a year your gonna tell me you didn’t sleep with anyone else.” Miranda stated flatly in her own disbelief.
“No I didn’t.” Ben firmly said a surprised expression creeped onto Miranda’s face.
“Aww that’s so sweet you waited for me.” Miranda cooed.
“ This isn’t Trey Songz I can’t help but wait Miranda. It’s not so aww now.” Ben responded.
“ So you wouldn’t have waited for me. I’m not worth waiting for.”
Miranda asked trying to get clarity on what exactly he was trying to say.
“Of course you are baby. I’m just simply saying that someone normally knows when they are waiting.” Ben stammered.
“Well it’s in the past now.” Miranda said smiling holding her left hand up waving her ring finger back and forth showing off her huge engagement ring.
