"Miranda I need to talk to you about something." Ben told her.
"Okay go ahead I'm listening." She responded wrapping her hair in the mirror.
"I got a call from a Fire station in Portland and they were approved to start their Prt." He started.
Miranda looked up in the mirror at him with a smile. "Aww that's so good."
"They want me to spearhead the start and help them get set up, on track and trained. Um it's a lot of money they are offering too." Ben voiced rubbing his neck.
"Baby that is awesome. I'm so proud of you. That's exciting."
"They won't me to come there for-
"Okay that's not too bad."
"A month." Ben added.
"A month" Miranda repeated her eyes widening. "I thought it was going to be a weekend. They want you to be gone from home and from your family for a month?" Miranda asked putting the brush down, letting her hair fall from the wrap as she turned towards him.
"I know but it's a big opportunity for me. We couldn't have the Prt here but think about all the lives it will save. It's bigger than me. Maybe this will lead to it being developed across the country…My idea." Ben replied.
Miranda looked up at him and tears were welding in her eyes at the thought of him being gone that long.
"Okay." She voiced given in. She always wanted her husband to follow his dreams. She did not want to hinder him.
"Okay?" He repeated.
"Yeah baby. Despite the month long program. I am happy for you. So happy for you. I love you so much and I want you to soar and complete your dreams. I'm going to be there for you, like you supported me with mine. " Miranda responded.
Ben nodded and sat on the bed. Miranda walked over to him and straddled his waist hugging him before kissing his lips passionately.
"Congratulations." She smiled against his lips.
2 weeks passed and Miranda drove Ben to the airport. They sat in the car for a while before it was time for him to go. Miranda got out of the car and Ben pulled her into a hug. Miranda bit her lip to hold her tears. She didn't want her man to go.
"God I'm going to miss you." He told her and Miranda nodded. "I'm going to miss you too. So much." She replied.
Ben kissed her lips hard and Miranda kissed him back just as hard as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
They pulled away for a breath and she watched as he walked off. "Go be great! And call me when you land." She called out to him.
A week passed and Miranda was missing her husband more than anything. They made time to talk in the morning and at night.
She was moving around the kitchen when her phone rung.
"Hey baby." Miranda answered immediately chiming happily.
"Hey baby." Ben greeted with a bright smile.
"What yah doing?" He asked.
Miranda sat her phone on the stand by the counter and stood looking at him.
"The boys wanted Mexican so I'm making the ground beef and stuff."
"Mmm. Are you making enchiladas with the white cheese sauce on top." Ben asked
"I am." She replied.
"Dam I'm ready to come home?"
"You're only ready to come home because you miss my cooking?" Miranda asked raising an eyebrow.
"No I miss the chef too. I would like to give a chef's kiss." Ben joked and Miranda chuckled.
"I miss you." Ben informed sighing.
"I miss you too." Miranda whined, she wanted to keep her feelings to minimum and hold it together for her husband. It was a wonderful opportunity and she wanted him to know that she supported him and was happy for him and most of all she wanted him to be happy doing it.
If he knew how miserable she was without him it would make him feel bad and he would come home. She knew her husband too well. He was the man that dropped out of a surgical residency for God-sake.
"It's only a few more weeks." Miranda voiced lightly. "I mean yeah I miss you. I'm use to you being gone for your 24 hour shift but I still see you the morning before and we talk on the phone at night but this, this is hard, I haven't laid eyes on you in the same room and I haven't been able to touch you for 7 days now and it's hard. It reminds me of covid all over again." She explained pushing down the tears she felt rising.
"I know." Ben responded rubbing his face.
"What are you doing?" Miranda asked.
"I just got back to the hotel after picking up my Japanese food." Ben answered.
"Okay good, you want to eat dinner with us?" Miranda asked.
"Of course I do." Ben smiled
Miranda finished cooking talking to Ben on the phone about his day.
"Dinner's ready." Miranda shouted and soon enough Miranda heard the sounds of feet coming down the stairs.
Joey had Pru in his arms as he sat her in her high chair at the dinner table.
"Look who's joining us for dinner." Miranda chimed holding her phone.
"Hey dad." Tuck greeted.
"Hey Ben." Joey smiled.
Pru looked around for Ben before realizing he was on the phone and she reached out to take it into her small hands. "Hey Ben." She laughed.
"Where are you?" She asked sadly.
"I'm away for work but I will be back in a little while." Ben explained.
"Okay." She replied. Miranda fixed herself and Pru's plate knowing that her little one was only going eat the Spanish rice and cut up chicken.
Next, she sat down at the table and looked to where Ben would sit and she sighed.
After the boys sat down Ben smiled. "Okay you know the drill. Tell me what you learned today" He voiced.
"I learned that girls are confusing." Tuck answered and Miranda raised an eyebrow.
"I think your father meant educational."
"No, I kind of like where this is going. Learning about relationships is education too and you are right Tuck women are confusing." Ben replied.
"Well what happened?" Miranda asked.
"Okay, well Kelly was saying that she wanted to take a break because we were together for so long and she has some things she needs to sort out." Tuck explained.
"Okay that's understandable." Miranda responded cutting into her enchiladas."
"So we've been taking a break for a couple of months and then I saw her holding hands with some other guy by the gym lockers." Tuck explained rubbing his face.
"Ahhh, she said she wasn't ready for a relationship and now she's in one." Ben remarked. "Ask your mother does she know what Kelly is thinking because she knows all about that?" Ben pointed out.
"Uh. Benjamin for the last time you and I broke up." Miranda rolled her eyes.
Joey and Tuck laughed. "Miranda you told me to wait for you and that's the end of discussion."
"Anyway. If she really did need space it's quite possible that she really does have a lot going on and she cares about you so much that she doesn't want to mess it up. " Miranda answered throwing her last words in Ben's direction.
"So how could being with another guy help?" Tuck asked.
"Exactly." Ben replied.
Miranda rolled her eyes and put Ben on mute so he couldn't hear her. "Tuck sometimes you just want to have fun and do not want to be locked down into-
"Hey, did you really put me on mute. Cut it back on Miranda." Ben huffed.
"Into something serious and as much as you love the person you don't want to mess it up or feel like your suffocating. Maybe she wasn't ready for something serious and needed to hit pause." Miranda replied putting the mute button off.
"That was rude Miranda."
"I love you honey." She retorted.
"As I was saying it's okay to hit pause and figure it out. You can ask her to see what's going on and see where she stands in you all’s relationship. But don't think because their is a pause that that's the end. We pause movies all the time and still come back to finish them. Look at your father and I. "
"Yeah Tuck but be careful. They take a pause once it's bound to happen again maybe after 12 years of marriage."
"You are an ass." Miranda remarked looking at Ben.
"Ass." Pru repeated.
"No, honey don't say that. That's not a good word." Miranda voiced lightly to Pru and then glared at Ben.
"I'm sorry baby that was too far. I was only joking."
"Joking my a--- tail." She changed.
Miranda listened as Joey talked about what he learned in anatomy and she loved that he was so fascinated by the human body. She remembered at his age being just as fascinated.
After dinner Miranda cleaned up and put Pru to bed, she ran herself a bubble bath and turned music on. Hoping this would help her relax.
After easing down in the water she closed her eyes and her mind traveled back to Ben. She thought about what he was doing now and she admired how much safer this job was but the dam con was just the amount of time that he was gone. What if other states wanted him to come do the same thing. Then he would never be home.
She opened her eyes when her phone rung and Ben was calling
Again .She Answered her face time quickly after wiping her hands on her towel nearby.
"Dam." Ben groaned when she answered and he saw her in the rub.
Miranda laughed giving him a smile. "Hello again to you too."
"Hey baby. I was calling back for our night time routine. I wasn't trying to be a jerk at dinner either."
"You weren't a jerk baby. I know how we joke and laugh with each other." Miranda laughed.
Ben nodded with a smile. "I wish I could join you. You look so good." Ben told her licking his lips.
"Don't start Ben because it's definitely something you can't finish and I don't want to wait 3 more weeks for you too finish it." Miranda begged and Ben nodded licking his lips still making Miranda blush.
"Think about all the phone sex we had when I was in California."
"Jesus we haven't done that in so long. That was almost a life time ago." Miranda thought back. "You know I was an amateur and had never done anything like that before."
"I was glad to be your first in so many things."
"Me too. I'm glad we hit play back on our relationship, I'm glad you asked me to go on a date even when I didn't want too. I'm glad you asked me to move in even when I didn't want too. I'm glad you asked me to marry you even though I hesitated. You are one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I could loose everything and as long as I have you I would still be fine." Miranda admitted.
Ben smiled and agreed. "Thank you for agreeing even though you didn't want too."
They continued to talk as Miranda washed up, washed her face and brushed her teeth before getting in bed.
"I love you and I will try to call you tomorrow morning."
"I love you too. Goodnight babe."
2 weeks passed and Miranda sat in her office with her face in her hands. She felt sick, her chest was hurting and she had a headache. She was honestly tired.
"Chief?" Amelia said softly after knocking.
"Huh...oh hey shepherd, can I help you?" She asked.
"Wow you look tired" Amelia commented.
"I am but even when I try to sleep I feel restless."
"I know it's hard keeping up with a toddler."
"It's not even Pru, she's wonderful. This just started recently like 2 weeks now. I just feel homesick but I am home." Miranda explained.
"Ah." Amelia nodded. "How long has Warren been gone?"
"3 weeks" Miranda answered.
"You're going through withdrawal Chief." Amelia enlightened.
"Excuse me." Miranda gasped.
"Chief, I am an addict. I have studied plenty of addictions and you are addicted to love. "
Miranda rolled her eyes. "I did a case study back in med-school and it's really a love addiction."
"So I'm an addict and my drug is Benjamin Warren." Miranda asked for clarification.
"Because we are biologically hardwired to need meaningful, emotional relationships with other people, Everybody has a love addiction it's only a matter of how far the range is from severe to mild."
"It is possible and indeed common for people, especially spouses, to suffer from withdrawal symptoms. These often remind us of our fears of separation anxiety from parents or loved ones in childhood. When we bond with someone, we develop a high level of oxytocin in our brains and the high that oxytocin gives us triggers memories. The same is true with dopamine. Over time we can develop a ‘love addiction’ to that person based off of those two chemicals. When one has a heartache due to being unable to satisfy that need for oxytocin/dopamine, it’s common to become emotionally distressed, have stress levels (cortisol) rise and perhaps be a little sleepless and homesick"
"Wow." Miranda replied.
"Yup, the brain is directly associated with Love. As you know, dopamine is associated with the feelings of pleasure and motivation. Activities that trigger a rush of dopamine causes the brain to assign importance to them and to pursue more of the same. Your husband gives you that rush and it's even more when you orgasm. Four times the amount of dopamine is released at a climax. The euphoric feeling of dopamine released causes a high that has been compared to that of cocaine. In one study I did, functional MRI scans were performed on people who viewed pictures of their romantic partners. Multiple areas of the brain were shown to become flooded with dopamine. And because you two have been together for so long other neurochemicals have fostered and attachment connection like oxytocin.
"The bonding hormone." Miranda filled in.
"Exactly. oxytocin is released through many activities, including holding hands, hugging and kissing." Amelia informed.
"So because Ben's not around my brain's level of dopamine and serotonin are temporarily lowered. And my stress hormones are raised, as my brain tries to restore what was lost." Miranda thought out loud.
"Yes ma’am. It will get better as time goes on and especially when he's back."
"Dam." Miranda chuckled.
"Love is a real drug." She laughed.
Miranda was honestly fed up now, she felt so lonely and empty. Talking to Ben on the phone eased her ache a little. She was excited for him to get off that plane in two days. This felt like the longest month of her life.
She chuckled to herself because there was no way in hell she was going to be able to go to Nasa even if she wanted to. She couldn't take being away from Ben for only a month. She couldn't fathom being gone for 6 and not able to call or face time.
Today was the day, Miranda fixed breakfast for the kids and she sat with them and ate. Normally she would be rushing off to work. But work sucked for her these days. There was no joy there. Her kids was her joy.
"When time does dad come today?" Tuck asked.
"Um after I drop Pru off at daycare, I'm going to the airport to get him. So when you guys get out of school he will be here." Miranda answered.
"Yay Ben." Pru clapped.
"Trust me baby girl. I am just as excited." Miranda chimed.
Miranda washed Pru up after breakfast and dressed her, the boys had left for school already.
She buckled Pru up and began to drive her to daycare singing along with her to the kids radio station.
When Miranda arrived at the hospital, she walked Pru down to daycare and handed the woman her lunch box. "Alright baby girl, I will see you later, I love you so much...be good." Miranda told her, kissing her on the head before walking out.
Her phone chimed and she pulled it out to look at the message. Her smile was 3x wide looking at Ben's message.
"Hey, baby my plane is landing now."
Miranda texted back that she would be on the way and waiting for him.
At the airport Miranda parked and waited. She watched so many people come out and hug their families before putting their own things in the car.
Her eyes widen when she saw the man she loved walk out. She looked him up and down, taking in his black sweater and jeans. He looked so good and even better now that he was here in same space that she was.
Tears of joy pooled into her eyes as she took her seat belt off and then got out of the car.
"Benjamin Warren." She called out happily wiping some of her tears.
Ben looked up at the sound of Miranda's voice and everything he felt while he was away vanished. He missed his wife so much, his body was aching. At night he never felt comfortable just wanting to be wrapped up in her. To smell her wonderful body fragrance, to kiss her full lips.
Being away from her for this month and covid really made him realize that it was so easy to take your spouse presences for granted.
To be able to be in her space and touch her was an honor and a privilege.
It only took him 3 strides before he was standing in front of her, pulling her into the biggest hug. Miranda sighed happily and wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her toes.
Ben lifted her up into their hug and she wrapped her legs around his waist before pulling back some to kiss his lips. "I missed you so much." She informed.
"I missed you too." Ben replied rubbing her back before kissing her lips.
"Come on let's go home." Miranda voiced as Ben let her down. He opened the passenger door for her and then put his bag in the back seat.
Miranda just couldn't hide her smile as he drove. His hand was on her thigh rubbing soothing circles.
Ben looked over at her and noticed her sappy smile.
"What?" He questioned curiously. "What's got you smiling like that?"
"You. I'm just do happy you are here." Miranda replied and she watched as Ben looked at her smiling.
Miranda got out and grabbed Ben's bag for him holding his hand as the walked inside.
"It feels good to be home." Ben groaned stretching.
Miranda watched him by the door and she looked him up and down again, taking everything in.
Ben looked over at her and they connected eyes. Miranda bit her lip and smiled at him seductively.
Neither of them knew how it happened so fast but they found themselves in their bedroom, their clothes sporadically around on the floor.
Miranda looked as Ben's naked body came into view and she moaned at the sight as he climbed overtop of her, kissing her lips. "Baby I don't need foreplay. I need you inside me." Miranda told him urgently.
Ben nodded as they passionately kissed and his tongue swiped against hers. He felt his wife rock her body against his lower half and he moaned every time her wetness brushed passed his penis.
Ben reached down and positioned himself at her opening and Miranda stared into his eyes impatiently waiting for him.
Ben pushed inside of her not holding back per Miranda's command. "Uhhhhh." Miranda moaned as her back arched and her body stiffened as an orgasm over game her. She grabbed anything she could reach but ultimately gripped their red sheets.
Ben felt Miranda clamp around his penis as her pussy pulsed. "Shit Miranda already." He groaned soldiering through as he began to stroke deeply inside of her.
Miranda panted as she tried to catch her breath. She wrapped her arms around his body, one hand gripping his shoulder and the other caressing his head.
"Fuck." Miranda moaned loudly.
"You're so wet." Ben moaned in her ear.
He loved the feel of Miranda's soft breast and hard nipples against his chest. "You missed me?" Ben asked knowing the answered.
"God yes, I missed you so much." Miranda chanted gripping his shoulder.
"Fuck Ben yes, right there." Miranda moaned out loudly. Miranda was the sexiest woman in the whole wide world. Even the sound of her did a number on him.
Ben leaned down and kissed on her breast, sucking her nipples. "Ugh yes." Miranda whimpered.
Ben felt Miranda clenching around him again as her legs found themselves around his waist.
He looked down at her face, her eyes were clothes and her lips parted, moans coming out at every thrust.
"Look at me Miranda." Ben commanded and her dazed eye opened immediately staring into his.
Ben's hand palmed her breast and the other gripped her waist as he slammed into her, digging her out, touching her g-spot.
"Mmmmhmmn baby." Ben moaned.
"You're the best." He told her. "I missed you."
"You feel so good Benjamin." Miranda moaned. "I love you, I love you, I love you." She chanted.
The room was filled with the sounds of their bedsprings, pants, moans, body slapping together and the wetness Miranda produced.
"You gonna cum for me?" Ben asked intently, knowing she was about to peak.
"Yess." Miranda responded intently as she fell over the edge. "Benjamin!" She called out.
"Yeah, that's it Miranda cum all over my dick." He moaned as he still moved.
Miranda's toes curled and she clawed his back. "Uhhh uhhh. Ben." She whined at every thrust.
Ben couldn't ignore the constriction on his penis and the juices that Miranda released. He came quickly filling her up. "Miranda." Ben moaned climaxing hard.
Miranda pulled him down on top of her, fully satisfied but she knee it wouldn't be for long. Ben laid his head in her neck and relaxed into the feel of Miranda rubbing her hand up and down on his body.
"Ben shepherd confirmed that I was an addict." Miranda said out of breath.
"Oh my god baby what are you taking? Is it the medicine for your OCD?" Ben asked quickly his voice now lace with concerned.
"I got hooked on you." Miranda stated simply.
"What?" Ben questioned confused rolling off of her to turn and face her completely.
"You are my drug Benjamin. Case studies determined that you can be addicted to love and your spouse. Whenever you are around, my brain releases dopamine into my body. Holding hands, hugging and spending time together makes me release oxytocin, which as you know is the bonding or cuddle hormone. While you where gone, I started to go through withdrawals. I felt homesick, tired, empty, heartache and headache. " Miranda explained.
"Dam, that explains why my body ached. I missed you so much, I felt so home sick and then when I laid eyes on you at the airport. It vanished." Ben said thinking.
"I'm high on you and I don't ever want to come down." Miranda told him with a bright smile as she rolled on top of him.
"Hey did you know that an orgasm makes you release 4x the amount of dopamine that we would release normally around each other" Miranda asked with a smile as she grinded against his.
Ben chuckled and grabbed her hips lovingly. "Let's make it happen again then."
After they went a few more rounds. The couple found themselves under their covers.
"You were laying on my side of the bed?" Ben asked looking at her medicine on his nightstand.
"It smelled like you. The pillows and sheets." Miranda replied. "Babe I love that you are doing this and chasing after your dreams but dam can you ad least come home on the weekends." She remarked.
"I will. I can't go that long anymore either. Especially if I don't have to." Ben replied pulling her into his chest.
Miranda snuggled in and Ben sighed contently. "I know this is about to be the best nap ever."
"Dam right." Miranda responded.
