Your lie (Levi • Reader)

Cliché

At once your chest made it hard for you to breathe, as if your lungs scrunched up tightly.
"Huh?"

Staring at him, seeing his coldness again, which you should already be familiar with. But you couldn't. You couldn't be familiar with it, even now.

After looking at you for a little longer, the stoic raven turned away and took the pen back into his hand.
Your hues narrowed slightly, as your fists clenched at the sight of him, since he seemed as if he didn't care, he seemed as if it was all totally indifferent to him, because he sat there wordlessly, no expression on his empty face.

You hardly took in another breath, though you felt it deep inside of you, entering and exiting your system. All you had wanted to tell him, all the bravery suddenly collapsed under its own weight. Maybe you were wrong after all, maybe you were mistaken in what you thought to believe and perceive of him.
You felt so heavy at once, with your hand holding the door knob dropping, as you watched him irritated, shocked even.

How were you supposed to react?
Normally, right?
But what was normal right now?
To step out and leave?

The lacking amount of ability to react made you nervous deep down, because you had no idea what to do.
You should leave his room. It seemed the most proper thing to do, because he didn't want you there.
All you could think of now was that he didn't care about what you had to say. It didn't matter to him, whether you dwelled here or you left. But for some reason, you didn't want to leave, you wanted to stay and release all the heaped up emotions in you, though you couldn't determine what they represented in this very moment.

You felt guilty, you felt bad for bothering him. You felt bad for wanting to tell him all of what was preserved inside of you, because you realised you shouldn't. You were stupid and selfish for yet another time and you wished you hadn't gotten on his nerves again.
Oh god, how were you so naive?

Despite of your crave to apologise to him, you closed your mouth and the door along with it, as you stepped out to go back to Ymir.
Entering your room, you saw Ymir and Eru already laying in their beds.
Eru peeped out of her sleep-mask, before she took note of you and closed it back again.
Ymir's face turned to you in surprise, while you shook everything off your head and gave her a smile.
And despite of her seeing your face, her eyebrow twitched at the sight of your hand trembling.

Quickly and wordlessly you went in bed, covered yourself and shut your lids.
You crawled into the cool sheets and prayed for a fast sleep, hoping for the night to overcome you suddenly and steal everything away from you as it always did.

-

In the morning you quickly threw over some cozy clothes, including a grey sweater and your favourite socks with cute ants imprinted on them, which were lastly covered by your loose pants tugged into your black, gleaming boots. Pulling your hoodie over, you hid your usually beaming expression and replaced it with something a little quieter.

Before you left the room, Ymir got by your side wordlessly. The head ache you experienced pushed against your skull dully, making it hard for you to think clear. But you didn't need to. Because while walking, Ymir shielded you from gawkers's possible stares, her facial expression cocky as always. She didn't look at you as she guided you to the table of you and your friends.

In reality, you didn't actually crave to go out of your room, you wanted to stay inside and press your head against the pillow until the sun-beams failed to emerge through the in-the-best-case vacuous room of yours.
Looking down at the empty surface in front of you, you lost yourself in vainly thought thoughts about the happening, which occurred just hours ago, despite of it having chased you even at night too. The dark shade under your eyes was covered by several strands of hair concealing the look of your face as well.
The heavy feeling being dragged by your body finally set to rest after a shoulder made light contact with yours.