Your lie (Levi • Reader)

23. Weak

You clenched your fist tightly

You were too feeble to tell him all you thought. All you wanted to say and how you truly felt.
Yet again.

And because you weren't capable of doing anything, you cried.
Crying was the only thing you could do, because none of your actions held any impact. It didn't matter, whether you were even there or not, because they had died anyways. And maybe everyone else would too.

Covering your face in the palms of your hands, you hid your damp eyes.

You were so weak and so pathetic, that even you pitied yourself.
And if everything carried on, you'd be the witness of the death of all your comrades. Everyone who was important to you.
Maybe even Levi.
You hadn't noticed, but you cried unstoppably, tears streaming down your cheeks with them flowing down the plain skin of your sensitive throat.

"Brat...", Levi beside you stared at you from sideways, which made everything just so much worse. You didn't want to cry, but you couldn't help it.
You were trained to always be ready to loose all you had, damn it. All your life- and what were you doing now? Weeping like a child?

Quickly you brushed all of it away and frowned painfully, tears still streaming down.
Thereafter you stood up with a determined motion and let your trembling and hoarse voice speak.
"I'll find out who did this."

His expression was unreadable as always, but he looked a little shocked.

With a face, which you tried to hold as emotionless as possible and small tears still flowing down your plain skin, you got up and went out of his room.

You had no idea why you did it, but sitting beside him, showing how weak you were.
That truly wasn't how you wanted him to see you.
So you simply left.

-

Two months later

"-and I won the bug-battle.", Jean's self-confident voice ringed out.

Eren angry:
"That's not true!", he smashed his hands into the table, looking furiously at Jean.
"Mine clearly arrived faster at the finish line!"

Silently you put another spoon-full of soup into your mouth to caress the bored taste-buds of yours.
Jean told you he decided to stay, which was still strange to you. You weren't aware of the reason after all.
He was constantly arguing with Eren and his life was at stake in every mission, which you knew wasn't something your friend was keen on.
Maybe he stayed because of Mikasa in order to protect her, but it all honesty, she was truly the last person in need of anyone's protection.

"(Y/N)! Are you there?"

At once you dropped your spoon and looked up to see Eren right in front of your face. You shrugged back in surprise and composed yourself.
"Yeah, of course."

Eren distanced himself a little from you and asked curiously again:
"What's going on? You haven't spoken a lot the last days."

You managed to release a tiny laugh and closed your eyes, scratching your neck.
Unfortunately, you hadn't told them about what had happened.
"Well, you know, nothing interesting."

Eren's bright eyes penetrated you for some reason.
Now the attention of everyone else was on you as well.
You sighed.