Your lie (Levi • Reader)

82. Just you and me

...And with that, you solely ran away, heading straight into any place you'd be alone...

You slammed the door of the storeroom shut, as your back pressed against its rough oak. It was the first room crossing your way and you entered without hesitation. You were now being consumed by the quiet next to the almost not visible brooms, brushes and various other stuff, like toilet paper, which was rotting in the deep corners of dusty cabinets and the mouldering washing cloths. Thankfulness fulfilled you to the brim, due to the fact that you were alone now and there was no one else inside of here.

You felt like a fool, an idiotic moron, for holding back and not allowing yourself to feel the regret you had felt, after the happenings in court. For allowing yourself to give into him again.
Your muddily brownish jacket brushed against the stale and uninspiring surface of yet another filthy object from behind.

He was no good and you as a matter of fact, knew it, didn't you?
Nevertheless, what you had sensed before with Levi, it felt like a good thing, not like the mistake it was supposed to be.
So what is wrong with you?

All you wanted, was to get back and face him, but in reality you were just scared. You were a coward for not confronting yourself, and therefore him.

Only weaklings run away, you repeated with a booming head and already whitely clenched knuckles.
The garden implements were your gawpers, making you grateful for their inability of talking.
Your breath barely came out of your tight throat, reluctantly fighting with it in this constant war inside of you against none other than yourself.
How come, you could not think rationally for once?

Anger evolved back into sadness.

I didn't actually believe he liked or cared for me, right?

A besom fell to the ground, breaking your tranquil, little sobs. But you were't crying.

And in the end, it wasn't even him keeping all of this away from me.
I was the one pretending as if everything got back to normal. I was the one, ignoring all you did.
I was the one, letting you fib me from one spot to the other, just the way you were comfortable with.

Your lowered head pointed to the dirty ground, until you lifted it, furrowing your brows through opposition to your gloomy eyes.
You sniffed, tore a paper from yet another white pile and wiped the reddish nose of yours.
I made a promise.
To father.
And mostly, to myself.

You opened the door after a while, ignoring everyone outside boggling at you with their agape mouths and their goggly stares.

Determined steps sounded from the bottom of your body, as your black, cleanly gleaming shoes clacked on the tiles beneath you.
All you needed to do, was go back into your room, bypass it and get over him. Get over Levi.
He was an ass, having many reasons for being a suchlike kind, starting with his words and ending with his demeanour, as well as the reflection of everything he misliked, especially about you.

And you, you were not one to bow down and hide your head for anyone like this. You'd never be defeated this easily by anybody, especially not with the words leaving his awfully gorgeous lips. Of course you weren't weak, you were strong and there was nothing in existence being able to change that.
So if he wanted to talk, you'd talk, but if he left you like this and strived for no bettering, you'd leave it that way.
Because you could, hell you could.

While strutting through the main-hall, you bumped into none other than Erwin Smith himself. His Carolina-blue eyes widened at the sight of you, making you instantaneously wonder, what had happened.