Hope Mikaelson Goes to Hogwarts

Chapter 15: It's Not Your Fault

Hope's POV:

A few weeks go by and it's Christmas Eve. Tomorrow Mr. Weasley is going to be released from St. Mungo's and Hermione and Harry will arrive at Grimmauld Place tonight. It's also the full moon tonight and Sirius and I are waiting for Remus to get here.

We're waiting here in silence until he breaks it. "Ok, what's going on?" I give him a confused look. "What?" "Don't 'what' me. What's going on with you. You've been withdrawn." "Yeah, well, I'm like that."

"No you're not. At least, not like this. You're normally guarded but right now you're so locked down it's almost like a completely different person." "Can't I just want to keep to myself?" "You can, but I'm nosey like that. What's going on?" I sigh and run a hand through my hair.

"It's just...every time I have something good, every time that I think that maybe, maybe I can relax and be normal, I'm reminded that I'm not normal and after Mr. Weasley was attacked...they hit too close to home. I let my guard down for a second, and someone close to me got hurt."

"Hope, you never could have predicted what happened to him. It's not your fault." "You see, that's the thing, despite that fact, I'm conditioned to think that everything that happens to those I care about...it's my fault and I could have prevented it." "Hope."

"I mean, what's the point of being an all powerful tribrid if I can't keep those I love safe?" "Hope, you are not responsible for this. Ok, I want you to stop thinking you are." I look away, not really listening to him. I know he's right, but it's habit at this point. There's a slight pause.

"When James and Lily made me Harry's godfather, I was so excited. I thought I had the perfect situation with Pettigrew as the Secret Keeper. I've blamed myself for that night ever since. I spent years in Azkaban thinking about everything I could have done differently."

I finally look up at him. "The Marauders and the Potters were the only family I ever knew that accepted me. My family was...complicated." I laugh humorlessly. "Yeah, I know complicated." I say.

"The point is, Hope, that no matter what happened, or what happens, you can't continue to blame yourself, whether it was your fault or not. We can't dwell on our pasts when we have no power to change them." I know he's right.

I don't like that something is out of my control, but I know he's right. "You may be an all powerful tribird, but you are not responsible for whatever You Know Who does." "I know. I do. It's just hard to change a perspective I've had for...hell, 21 years now." He laughs.

"I forget you're mentally older than you are." I smile at this. "Yeah, I do too sometimes. Hopefully I can get past fifteen this time." He laughs. "Hopefully. We should celebrate." My smile widens. "We should." That's when Remus shows up. "Sorry I'm late." "No, you're fine. Ready?" I ask.

He nods and together the three of us head out. That night, when we get back Harry is still up, waiting for us while I know for sure Hermione went straight to bed. It is past midnight after all and tomorrow is Christmas. "Harry." A very tired Remus greets.

Harry nods to him as he heads to the room he uses when he needs to rest after full moons. Sirius hugs his godson and when he pulls away we smile at each other. For a second all my worries melt away and I rush forward and pull him into a kiss.

We've only kissed twice before, but it feels so natural. When we finally pull away we hug each other tightly. "When did this happen? I mean, it's about time, but still." We hear behind us. I let go and turn to see an amused Sirius. "Uh, right before I came down." I say, blushing.

His amusement turns into a smirk. "You really are so much like your father. Now, I'm going to head to bed, but you two better not stay up all night." He warns playfully. My blush deepens as he retreats up the stairs. I turn to my boyfriend. Boyfriend. I smile at my thought. It feel good.