STAR TREK IMAGINES

Captain Jean-Luc Picard

A/N: Deans_Cherry_Pie67 requested this, I'm sorry for the delay I hope you enjoy! Also mentions of verbal abuse and a bad anxiety attack please do not read if that is a trigger for you

I smiled as Jean-Luc read aloud, he was retelling Twelfth Night, mostly to practice his enunciation.
I was still munching on breakfast, the nerves bubbling in my stomach slowed me down considerably. As much as I was enjoying my Jean-Luc's dramatic reading, I couldn't tear my thoughts away from Commodore Mathews.
He was coming aboard later today, he had to attend to diplomatic duties on some conference planet. I was all too aware of his reputation, I went to the academy to escape the verbal abuse from my father but the second I arrived and I met that man I was instantly reminded of it.
I still, vividly, remember crying under the stairs practically screaming to myself those memories which I was working to bury hit me like a freight train. The fear, the pain, the never ending pain. I still remember an older boy finding me and doing his best to comfort me. He clearly had never had to comfort someone like this before but his efforts were enough of a distraction. My heart hurt a little less, when Jean-luc finally introduced himself.
The comm beeping took us both out of what we were doing, I couldn't hear what was being said but I watched as Jean-Luc's face fell a bit.
"Alright, we'll be there shortly number one"
He nodded at me, Turning off the comm
"Looks like Commodore Mathews has arrived earlier then expected, Data's stalling for us to get there"
I smiled as I nodded, hoping to conceal some of my nerves.
He quickly pressed a kiss to my cheek, already being dressed in our ceremonial uniforms made things a lot easier as we ran down to the shuttle dock.
Once we joined Will and Deanna, both of whom looked like they were going to kill us for this.
My blood ran cold as I saw that man approaching us, age did not treat him kindly.
Jean-Luc interlocked our fingers, for once today he seemed to sense my anxiety around meeting this man.
He grumbled greetings at Jean-luc, barely even giving me a side eye.
Jean-Luc gave his usual diplomatic spiel about how honoured he is that Commodore Matthews is joining us. Instead of returning the courtesy he started barking orders at the poor ensign who was his assistant.
"Go wait for my bags, L/n go make sure my room is prepared"
I fought back a tone, instead responding with
"Sir, we don't have to check your room was prepared days ago with your requirements"
"Just as useless as you were at the academy, alright then come on Picard, the grand tour. Leave the women to tend to their duties"
Jean-Luc gripped my hand harder, distracting me from his words.
"Yes sir"
He gave me one last reassuring look, before he went on his way.

TimeSkip

For the most part my nerves had subsided, partially due to the workload being an engineer presented.
Jean-Luc and Matthews had stayed on the other side of the ship, but when they came to the engineering section Jean-Luc very quickly warned me so I could get away.
I was working with Geordi when I recognized matthews call out for me. Geordi gave me a look, he shared my hatred of the man.
I rejoined both of them, I held my hands tightly behind my back.
Matthews spoke to Jean-Luc for a second before turning back to me
"Ah yes y/n, good of you to finally join us frankly Jean-luc if it takes her this long to get over here you might need to start running a tighter ship around here"
I closed my eyes for a second, trying to stay as focused as possible I refuse to let that man see me weak.
"I was going to ask you about the ship's engine systems but I somehow believe you're version would be sup-par at best"
He brushed me off, a small wave of his hand indicating to me to leave.
Jean-Luc reached out to me but I pulled back, walking away a little faster.
I ignored everything around me as I walked back to our rooms.
Everything that had been going on pounded into my head, horrible memories came back to me, feelings of failure and sadness returned stronger than before.
I'd gotten so used to the loving environment on the ship, being spoken to like that threw me off guard.
I sat down on the edge of our bed, alone. Finally I let out the cries I'd been holding back, I couldn't stop it anymore as I let pain course through me, I sobbed as hard as my voice could let me.
I curled into a ball, the only comfort I felt was my hands tugging on my hair. I wasn't even aware of how badly I was shaking until I saw my hands.
I'd calmed down a little bit, but I nearly jumped off the chair when I felt a hand on my back.
"Sit up, please y/n"
Concern was written all over Jean-Lucs features, I weakly smiled back.
Sitting up, Jean-Luc took a seat next to me.
I leaned into him, taking slow and shaky breaths before I spoke, except he beat me too it.
"Just relax y/n, you don't have to explain to me until you're ready"
One of his hands rested on my back, rubbing slow circles until I felt somewhat relaxed.
"A bit better?"
Jean-Luc asked quietly, I nodded sitting up slightly.
"I'm sorry for walking away like that, I mean.. you know my reasons"
I tried to hold back breaking down again, I was failing but Jean-Luc held my hands, As though I'd slip away if he let go.
"we can work through anything okay, together"
"Together"