STAR TREK IMAGINES

Captain James T. Kirk

A/n: mentions of anxiety and the affects high/extreme anxiety can have on the body (I'm not a doctor this is just what I've heard and experienced) please don't read if that's trigger for you.

One stupid smile.
That's all it took, before you fell head over heels for a certain James Tiberius Kirk.
On his end, it was your stupid sense of humor, literally telling the dumbest jokes to try and make him laugh. Not that either of you could pluck up the courage to say the 3 words.
Of course at night, when the facades fell and the prying ears of others disappeared, you'd talk for hours and hours about the darkness and the personal demons you faced on a day to day basis.
Seeing him smile was like medicine to a wound, and even when it seemed like the world was getting the best of you both, you had absolute faith that you were safe with Jim Kirk and Jim could say the same.
Even when your anxiety meant you stayed in bed, feeling sick to your stomach with dread and worry, Jim would come by and wrap himself around you, without saying a word, except for maybe asking if you wanted a snack.

Now, you lay in bed, your chest tightening from holding back loud sobs, yearning for Jim's touch again. Somehow hoping that maybe he'd come even in the pouring rain, someway, somehow.
Your hands shook, the smooth fabric of your bedsheet clutched between your fingers.
Nothing had really triggered it, just being in your own thoughts things descended so quickly before you could control it.
Your head began to pound, nothing felt good.
When a gently thunk hit your window, and you recognized Jim curse at himself.
"Hey! Is it open?"
Raising a thumbs up, he pushed it open with a loud creak before placing his bag on the floor. He started to peel off some of his soaking wet outer layers, before he realized that you weren't just about to go to sleep.
"I'm here- I'm here for you."
He whispered, climbing into bed behind you bringing his hand to your hair.
"I don't know Jim-I don't know what happened- i don't know, I don't know"
Burying your face against his neck, Jim stayed silent for a while before he gently responded.
"It's okay you don't have to know, there's only 3 things that matter in this world, Rock'n' Roll, pizza..."
He paused, hearing your giggle a little bit before a rush of confidence hit him.
"And how much I love you"
The voice in the back of his head told him this was definitely not the right moment for it, and he panicked when you froze for a moment, years of pent up feelings, moved you to pressing a quick kiss to his lips.
"I-I'm sorry Jim, I love you too, I just never knew how to say it right"
Jim relaxed, before using his thumb to wipe away your drying tears.
"Since we spent all this time not knowing how to say it- can I show you how I really do love you?"