Homesick

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"Come in", Draco shouts.
I push open the door to see him sprawled across the bed on his back.
"Alright mate?", Blaise asks.
"Fine.", he says bluntly.
I sit down on the bed beside him.
"I'm sorry for the way I acted", I say sheepishly.
"It's fine. I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm being an arsehole at the moment", he sighs.
"No you're not. I am".
"How?".
"I did something terrible".
There's a silence.
"You went through my stuff", he looks at me, eyebrows raised.
"What? How did you..".
"My ink pots were in a different position to where I left them and my notebooks were all half opened.", he half smiles cheekily.
"You're smarter then you look", Blaise adds.
"I'm so sorry Draco. I feel terrible", I hide my face in my hands.
"It's alright. At least you didn't go through my diary", he pauses looking at my frozen face.
"You went through my diary?!", he shouts.
"Draco! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to I just!", he interrupts.
"You didn't mean to? What exactly did you mean to do (Y/N)?".
"Mate let her explain", Blaise begins.
"Shut up Blaise! Shut up! She went through my diary! But it's fine I guess because she didn't MEAN to do it", he roars.
I get up off the bed cowering away from him.
"Draco I just wanted to.."
"GET OUT", he screams.
"DRACO", Blaise shouts.
"NO", his voice lowers.

"Get out. Just get out", he whispers sitting down on his bed a single tear falling from his silver grey eyes.

Blaise and I go down to the lounge room and sit on one of the black leather couches.
"Well that went well", Blaise says.
"I didn't expect him to be so mad. I don't know what I expected", I sigh.
"It's not your fault".
"It is. Whose else is it? I'm a nosy idiot", I sigh.
"No you're not. You just made a mistake that's all", he tries to comfort me helplessly.

"I need to write a letter to my parents. I'll talk to you later Blaise", I reply.
"Oh okay. If you need anything I'm here. I'm gonna go try and calm him down. Wish me luck", he gets up .
"Thanks for everything Blaise, I mean it", I smile as he walks out of the door.

I start writing a letter to Mother and Father. I tell them how much I miss them and that everything is going okay here, a lie of course. I ask them how things are at home and I tell them how marvellous the Malfoy Manor is. When I'm done I seal up the letter with a wax seal and write my home address on it. Suddenly I'm overcome with the urge to go home. I'd do anything to be back in my own bed again, in the comfort of my own room.

I wake up fully clothed the next day on my bed. I don't even remember falling asleep. I wipe my eyes and get up to have a shower and get changed. I hate the feeling of going to sleep not prepared for the next morning.

I step out of the bathroom in my fresh clothes and see Draco coming up from downstairs. He pauses for a minute, and I see a glimmer of disappointment in his eyes. I freeze and it feels like I'm standing there forever. I open my mouth to speak but he walks away.

I go to find Blaise downstairs who's sitting in the library, flicking his wand in random directions, practicing spells.
"Hey", I say sitting down next to him.
"Morning. You sleep well?", he asks.
"I don't even remember falling asleep", I frown.
"I talked to Draco", he puts his wand down.
"And?", I say eagerly.
"He said he just needs more time".
That wasn't the answer I was hoping for.
"I understand".

The day drags on for what seems like forever and I can't stop beating myself up about reading Draco's diary. I wish I could explain to him that I didn't even know it was a diary and the only reason I kept reading it was because I saw my name. I need to talk to him about what I read but how can I? What if he never forgives me? What do I do then?
My mind is racing and I try to stop it by distracting myself but nothing seems to work.
I open up a book but find myself re reading the first page over and over again trying to absorb what I'm reading. It's no good.
I put down the book and decide to go for a walk around the manor. It's quite a nice day out, the sun is hiding behind two clouds but every so often comes out to say hello.

I decide to ask the boys to come with. I knock on the door to their room and see them both sitting down talking.
"Sorry for interrupting", I cough awkwardly.
"Anyone wanna come for a walk?", I offer.
"I'll go", Blaise says getting up.
"Me too", Draco forces a smile.
"Okay great", I say surprised.

I slip on some shoes and head outside with the boys. The weather has cleared up a good bit.
As I step out I smile. I love the feeling of going outside for the first time in the day.
We walk around the manor mostly in silence apart from Draco pointing out various things in the garden and explaining their origins and Blaise accidentally tripping over some grass.
It feels good to be side by side, the three of us again.
Suddenly out of nowhere Draco grabs my hand.
"Blaise do you mind if we talk in private for a minute", he motions to Blaise.
"Sure. I'll be inside", he walks off into the manor.

Draco brings me to a stone bench placed on one of the sides of the manor.
We sit down and he turns to me.
"I'm sorry for being so mad".
"No, don't be. You had every right to be".
"I know but I took it too far. And I'm sorry", he squeezes my hand.
"I'm sorry too. I hate fighting with you", I admit.
"Me too. I just wanted to ask", he lowers his voice suddenly.
"Did you read anything like... about my", he begins.
"Yes I read about your dad. And I'm worried Draco".
He purses his lips as if to stop him from saying something he shouldn't.
"Can we talk about that tomorrow", he suggests.
"Whenever you're ready", I say and I pull him into a tight hug.
Maybe I'm not so homesick after all. Maybe home isn't a place, it's people.

Maybe home is a person.

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