Not so much in love with the badboy (ENGLISH)-✔

52. Leaving

{Stan}

The days pass by really fast here.

It's perfect for us. I love it. Not only our own place, but just being with her. Waking up together, working together, cooking dinner together...

We're living here now for over three weeks and in two week, it's Christmas. I wonder what I should get her.

I'm home alone, which doesn't happen a lot. I'm always with Queen, but she's doing groceries and I wanna give her some freedom too.

I hear the door unlocking and stand up to help her with the bags. "Hey, my perfect girlfriend." I smile and she giggles. She giggles a lot. But now, it doesn't sound like her regular giggle.

"Did something happen?" I ask, trying to sound neutral. She looks at me like she has something to confess. I'm getting scared...

She breathes deeply in and sighs. "Stan, I'm leaving because of..."

My heart stops.

"Wha- You're leaving? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something? I'm sorry! I can make it up to you? I'm really sorry! Did I go too fast? I'll slow down, I swear! We can start with a few dates? Please, don't leave me."

I close my eyes, take a deep breath and open them again. When I look at her, I can't take it anymore and I run to our -my- bedroom.

I curl up under the blanket and start sobbing. My breath goes way too fast and I sit up a little. I feel dizzy. I close my eyes, but it doesn't help and I fall down again.

Flash.

Where is he when you need him?

I start feeling more dizzy every second and the room spins. Where's that fucking sloth?

Finally, I got it and I smell Queens scent. I calm down for a moment, but then realize I'm never gonna smell her again. I start sobbing again and lie down again.

The door opens, so I guess Alec or Nell comes by to check what's going on. She probably called them before getting here. It can't be Queen, she probably left now anyway.

"I fucked up." I sob. "I did something wrong, but I don't know what. I know I'm an asshole for not knowing what I did, but I honestly can't remember anything. She left. I lost her again. But this time, I don't know what went wrong. I really tried my best, but I... I..."

I'm sobbing so hard I can't speak anymore. I feel the person sitting down on the bed and I start catching my breath. Take it slow...

"I'm not leaving you for real, Stan." she says and I jump up at the unexpected sound of her voice. I fall out of bed and get up again. I wipe my tears away, knowing I look horrible.

She points to my bed and I quickly sit down. I look at my hands and see that they're shaking. I feel dizzy.

"Listen. I'm not leaving forever. I just have a congress in Greece, for which I'm gone for one night." she explains and I fall down on my pillow.

"Oh god. I feel so stupid. I should have listen to you." I sigh and look up at her. She looks down at me, almost with pity. "Yes. But maybe I should have mentioned it on another way. Anyway, are you gonna be okay? With me being a whole night away?"

I nod, but my hands are still shaking. I'm still dizzy. "Are you okay now?" she asks and I nod. "I'm good." I'm not. She gasps as she sees my hands. "You're shaking! Gosh, you're not okay!" she says and she shifts closer to me.

"I'm not leaving you, Stan. It's all okay. I'm happy with you. I know you're trying so hard to do your best and I'm happy. You are a good boyfriend. The best." Her words calm me down and my hands stop shaking. I smile up at her.

I pull her to my chest and she curls up in a ball. "Are you okay now?" she asks and I nod. "Yeah, I am. Sorry I didn't listen and reacted so stupid. I'll work on it." I promise her.

She frowns. "Baby, everyone has weak spots. You don't have to be perfect for me." I shrug. "Yes, I have to. When I'm as good as I can be for you, I won't hurt you again." I explain, but she shakes her head. "No, Stan, I don't want that. I want you."

I gasp. My eyes start to water again when I look at her. She frowns and cups my face in her hands. "Stan..." I let out a sob and she gives me a kiss. She's everything to me.

"What are you gonna do when I'm leaving?" she asks. My heart stops for a moment, but I remember myself to the fact it's only for one night. "I don't know, maybe a double shift in the hospital..."

She glares at me. "No?" I ask, not knowing why not. She shakes her head. "No, you're not doing that. I can ask Nell and Alec if you can stay with them?" she suggests. I shrug. "How late will you be back?" I ask.

"Around ten." she says and I gulp. "P.m?" My voice sounds small. "No, silly! A.m.! Just one night, remember?" she says and I nod. "I love you."

Her eyes soften and she gives me a kiss. "I love you too, Stan. So, so much." I smile and play with her hair.

"I'll send a text to Nell tomorrow." she tells me and my blood runs cold. I turn her around. "You're leaving.... tomorrow?" I need a no, but she nods. "Tomorrow?" I ask again, and her eyes meet mine.

"It'll be okay, Stan. Don't worry. I'm not gone for long, just one night. You still have Flash, don't you?" I don't like this at all. She didn't say she's leaving tomorrow.

My hands start to shake again. I notice it as soon as she does. She hugs me and calms me down, but my heart still isn't beating. "Tomorrow?" I squeak. She nods and hugs me more tightly.

"I'll be fine." I try to convince her, even though I won't. She frowns and lies down next to me. "I know you will. Because I know you can."

My eyes start to water again. God, she turned me into such an emotional pussy! She really has too much faith in me. "Gosh, you have me wrapped around that little finger of yours." I whisper and she giggles. Her real giggle.

"Do you want to sleep?" she asks and I shake my head. I'm tired, but I want to cuddle her if she's planning on leaving tomorrow. "Then what do you want to do?" she asks and I shrug. "Being with you is enough." I whisper.

When she stands up and I try to follow her, I feel how tired I really am. I lie down again. "Maybe I'll take a short powernap." I whisper, but she's not in the room anymore. Immediately, I start panicking. I'm too tired to search her, but without her I can't sleep.

"Queen?" I shout and I hear her in the kitchen. "I'll be back in two minutes. Just making tea!" she calls back and I sigh, relieved.

She walks back in our room and sits down beside me. I place my head in her lap and it feels safe. "I love you." I yawn. "I love you too. Go take your powernap." she giggles.

I fall asleep.