Bad for You (GU #1)

fifty-four

Fifty-Four: About Him

Hindi pa nakakatagal nang may narinig akong kumatok sa pinto. Umalis ako mula sa pagkakasandal dito at hinarap ito, pinagmasdan lang. I thought of who could be on the other side of the door. Posibleng si Tita Ver, si Manang Meling o hindi naman kaya ay si Slade.

Pinunasan ko ang luha. Kahit sinupaman 'yan ay kailangan ko pa rin siyang harapin. Heaving a deep breath, I pulled the door open and came into a halt when I saw him.

A while ago, I wanted to talk to him, to find answers to the questions that kept running on my mind. But right now as I stood in front of him, I couldn't get myself to speak. And I freaking didn't know why.

"Celestine," he started and moved toward me. Nagsimula naman akong umurong. He noticed it and he stopped, worry filled his face suddenly. "Mom told me you already knew. I—I can explain. I swear I can explain."

Hindi ko alam pero nagsisimula na namang uminit ang mga mata ko. At alam ko ilang sandali buhat ngayon ay mag-uumpisa na naman akong umiyak. But right now, that was least of my cares. I just wanted to get this over. So, with a barely audible voice, I muttered, "Don't you trust me?"

Napalunok siya pagkatapos inangat ang parehong kamay, akmang hahawakan ako pero hindi niya tinuloy. "I do. I do trust you."

"You do?" I scoffed. "That's hard to believe, Slade, especially after not telling me that part of your life you should've already told me before. Know what? Maiintindihan ko na hindi mo sinabi 'yun dahil hindi mo kayang ibahagi ang gan'ung impormasyon sa iba. But obviously, that's not the reason because your friends know about it. And I was the only one who's left clueless. Bakit hindi mo sinabi? O may balak ka ba talagang sabihin sa'kin ang tungkol doon?"

He closed his eyes, then ran his fingers through his hair, made it even looked more messy. When he opened his eyes, he fixed his gaze on me. "I was planning to tell it to you the day you shared about your Dad. I felt that time that it was just right to tell you about it after sharing that part of your life to me. But I thought I was dealing a lot at that moment, yung nangyari kay Robert, tapos 'yung kay Miles. So, I decided to just tell it another time."

He let out a heavy breath again. "I didn't mean to slip that information. Actually, after we got back together I was already thinking about telling that to you. Naghahanap lang ako ng tamang pagkakataon. Then I remembered my parents' anniversary and thought it's the perfect time I was waiting for."

I creased my forehead. "Why wait for the perfect time? Bakit hindi mo na lang sinabi sa akin kaagad? I'm sure you didn't wait for a perfect time when you told about your past to your friends."

"Yes, you're right, I didn't." He confirmed with a nod. "That's because I know with them, I can hold back. I can tell them easily I was adopted and period. No more why's and how's."

"Pero, hindi rin naman ako magtatanong. Kung anong kaya mong ibahagi sa akin tungkol sa'yo, okay na 'ko doon."

"I know," he mumbled and took a step forward. This time, I didn't move. Basta nanatili ko lang tinitigan si Slade, hinayaan na maabot ng pareho niyang kamay ang pisngi ko. Maging nang gamitin niya ang hinlalaking daliri para punasan ang mga luhang alam kong nakatakas na mula sa mga mata ko. "I know," ulit pa niya. "But that's the problem, with you, I just don't want to share that part of my life, I want to tell you everything. And trust me when I say everything. At alam ko na kapag nag-umpisa na ako, hindi ko na kayang tumigil kaya naghintay ako ng tamang pagkakataon."

He exhaled. "I was ought to tell it to you tonight," he trailed off and let out an aggravated laugh, "but Mom beat me to it, huh? Kung alam ko lang na lagi pala siyang nagkukwento nang gan'un I should've really made a move earlier. And my friends really have to do some explanation, they seemed to leave out that information to me. I didn't know Mom was telling them those stories."