Blood, Sweat and Tears - an OT7 Vampire AU

Chapter One Hundred and Seven

"I've just realised that when you guys get a bath or into water your penises float"

"Sometimes I worry about you"

"Why?"

"Because if that what comes out of your mouth what is actually left inside your head?" Hoseok laughed.

"Shhh. Sometimes I think I'd quite like to have one"

"A cock?"

"Yeah. Just to like swing around, and pee standing up, and flick it"

"Flick it?"

"Yeah just to see what it does. Do you not just want to play with it... not like that, but like just swing backwards and forwards or like knock stuff over with it"

"You've really thought about this haven't you?"

"Yeah. To pee, I have to sit down, but you guys can pee like anywhere"

"I like to sit down to pee sometimes. It's like a treat" Namjoon smiled.

"See, standing up to pee is just not going to happen, especially if I need it to go in the right direction, seriously, after four kids my pee streams try and hit all four corners of the globe"

"I'd like to be a woman for a week. You're just so different. Not just your bodies but your minds, your hormones, everything and I want to know how your skin is so smooth" Jimin frowned.

"You would be such a diva as a woman. You would use your titties to get everything. You'd dress up in expensive lingerie and spend six days fucking yourself until you did it perfectly" Mia laughed.

"I'd like to be like Pretty Woman" Jimin grinned.

"See I imagine you more like Kate Winslet in Titanic. A pretty rich girl, in fancy clothes who really just wants to get railed by a fit man who will draw you naked"

"Bahahaaaaa" Hoseok spat out his drink.

"If I was a man who would I be?"

"You can be the Jack to my Rose!" Jimin wiggled his eyebrows.

"So you can say don't let go, and then let go when there was obviously enough space?"

"Fine fine, no you could be... who would you be?"

"I think you're like Ron Weasley"

"What?!" Mia glared.

"Well, you have a large supportive family, who try their best for you, you have friends who support you even when you're an idiot, and you married the smart ones...." Jungkook grinned.

"Oh god, I'm Ron Weasley" Mia sighed.

"A very sexy... nope. Can't do it" Namjoon chuckled as they all sat in the hot tub.

"Seriously my security code name is Dora, and the best character you can compare me to is Ronald Weasley" Mia imitated his Mother.

"Hey! You said I'd be a fancy-ass hoe"

"Mmmhmmm. That I do not regret!" Mia dodged Jimin's flick of water.

"So what should we do tonight?"

"Let's grill. Have a fire, drink whisky. Maybe we could see what else some of the things in the tent can do?" Mia wiggled her eyebrows.

"Good job we thought that was what you would say and we've got all the supplies ready, are you sure you're up for it?"

"Just an hour of playing. Nothing too heavy"

———

"Oh you've got a blazer on, do you have to go back to work"