Everyone Has An Insecurity | (Imagine Eighteen)

7.1K 167 57
                                    

You looked at yourself in the mirror. The bikini bottoms covered your private areas, except the skinny marks on your thighs. They were still visible. There were stretch marks that went up and down your thighs in a small area, you hated them. And your thigh gap? Small, very small. You hated that it wasn't bigger, you wanted it bigger. You felt as if you were fat because of it, that people would look at that and automatically call out the flaw. Just like they would when they would see your stretch marks.

They would think you're body is ugly, just like you do now - looking at yourself in the mirror.

"Are you ready yet, (y/n)?" Your friend called from outside the bathroom. You took another look at your thighs, and bit your lip. Did you really want to go swimming in the lake today? Did you really want Dylan to see your imperfect thighs, imperfect stomach, imperfect everything...?

You swallowed and before you knew it a tear went down your cheeks. "Not yet," you said to her breathlessly. You hated that you weren't confident of your body, but you couldn't seem to think anything good about it. "(Y/f/n) I don't think I'm going anymore." You said and placed two hands on the sink counter. The tear that escaped your eye fell into the sink, you watched as it slid down and stopped a centimeter away from the drain.

"Why not, (y/n)? Come on you told Dylan you were coming with me and Jordan today!" She said trying to give you a reason to go. Taking another look in the mirror you looked at your boobs. Were they big enough? Were they too small, or too big?

"I don't know, anymore, (y/f/n)." You replied and turned away from the mirror. You wished you had a perfect body, not too skinny, and not too fat. Just perfect. A perfect boob size, a perfect thigh gap, a perfect everything. "I don't think I want to go swimming." You said and you heard a loud sigh from the other side of the door.

"What? Why not?" Your friend asked, she opened the door and you quickly wiped your eyes. "Oh, (y/n) what are you doing?" She asked as she noticed you were still in your swimsuit.

"I don't think I can go swimming today," you told her. Before you could walk past her and out of the bathroom she closed the door and placed a hand on her hip.

"Tell me what's wrong, (y/n)." She said as she looked into your eyes, sternness was read all over her face.

You looked down at your body and a tear fell from your eye again. You hated when your friends saw you cry, you felt weak. The only person you wouldn't care about seeing you cry was your mom. "(y/n) you look frickin hot in that bikini," she said as a matter of fact. But for some reason you couldn't believe her. "Please tell me this isn't the reason why you don't want to go anymore."

Silence.

"Oh my goodness (y/n). Are you serious, I wish I had your body." Another silence, you didn't draw your eyes away from the mirror. Away from your imperfect body. You heard your friend let out a sigh and walk towards you. "Do you know that boys love to see confidence in a girl?" You looked at her and rolled your eyes.

"No! I'm serious. There's nothing hotter than a girl who's confident about her body, trust me I've been told by everyone - especially Jordan. And he said Dylan loves it when the people he's interested in--you--are confident about themselves. Apparently, it's a turn on for him, amongst other things."

You looked at your friend and gave her a weak smile. "I'm afraid he won't like the way my body looks in a bikini. I don't care about anyone else - but him." You said as matter of fact. "His past girlfriends are all skinnier-"

"No! Shh, I'm not going to let you think about his past girlfriends. Don't compare yourself to other girls. You're different than them, and guess what? He's with YOU, not them! Don't you think that means something, (y/n)?" She said and you nodded. It did mean something, didn't it. It meant... It meant... what did it mean? That he thought you were better than the other girls? "It means he loves you, (y/n)." Your friend answered for you. You looked at her and let out a sigh.

She was right and you knew it.

_________________________

"(y/n), (y/f/n)! Hey girls," Jordan called to your friend and you. You breathed in as you saw Dylan turn to look at you. You weren't even in your bikini and you were already feeling self-conscious.

"Hey, babe," Jordan said as he came up to your friend. You waited and watched as Dylan stalked towards you.

"Hey," he said to you as he met your eyes. "Ready to swim?"

You sent him a fake smile and nodded your head. "Of course." You said and walked towards a open part of the lake shore. There were lots of people there, girls who looked good in their bikinis.

Dylan followed you and you found yourself wishing he would go away, or look away while you stripped your clothes. You had your swimsuit on already and you threw your clothes on over it, but still. You wanted him to close his eyes until the water hid your body completely. Taking off your shirt, you noticed Dylan wasn't by you anymore. You looked around him and saw him talking to a couple of girls who looked older than you. They were beautiful, you thought they were prettier than you. What you didn't know was that you were prettier, and that you looked fine in the swimsuit. Your friend came over to you as you pulled off your jean shorts, she sent you a smile. "You look good in that bikini, (y/n)." She commented as her arm was wrapped around Jordan's waist.

Jordan looked you up and down and you felt yourself blush. "Yeah, Dylan's going to love to see you in that." (y/f/n) looked at her boyfriend with a raised brow. You let out a laugh and patted her shoulder.

"Thanks, guys." You said more to your friend than her boyfriend. And soon after Dylan came running your way.

His eyes immediately went to your legs, they glanced over your stomach, then your chest. And finally they met your eyes. You swallowed feeling a bit uncomfortable as he had just checked you out. "I'm so ready to swim now..." You heard him say to Jordan and you felt your cheeks heat up. Jordan and your friend ran towards the lake, and Dylan took your hand pulling you towards the lake also.

As you got waist deep, Dylan swam towards you and wrapped his arms around your waist. "Seeing you in a bikini turns me on, (y/n)." Dylan whispered into your ear after pulling you towards him in the water. You smiled and looked at him with a vulnerable expression. "I'm glad you came." He added as you rested your head on his bare chest.

You guessed your friend was right. You didn't look half as bad in a bikini as you were expecting. Yeah, okay, you didn't have the perfect body.  But the only thing that mattered really, was that Dylan wanted you to come. And that he found your body attractive. Not that you needed a guy to make you feel confident, but it did help a little.

You smiled at Dylan and moved your face towards his until your lips touched. Kissing when in the water was the best way to kiss, ever. Or maybe it was the fact that you were kissing him?

A/n: Hey!

So I decided I wanted to write an imagine about the insecurities a girl might feel about her body. Like, weight, thigh gap width, the size of their stomachs, etc. And some of these things I am insecure about too! I just wanted you to know that if you insecure about your legs, your weight, or idk even your hair, know that some people probably love those things you're insecure the most about, on you. And the other day my friend and I were talking about bodies, and the things we didn't like the most about ourselves and I realized everything we were saying, no one else really noticed about us. Like the things she told me she hated the most about her were the things I thought made her pretty and unique.

So all I'm saying is that what you think is a flaw on your body, might be what someone else thinks is a perfection. Don't hate it, be confident about it!

Okie, thanks for reading! Love ya guys! :*

(Stay flawless for me)

Dylan O'Brien (ıṃѧɢıṅєṡ & ƿяєғєяєṅċєṡ)Where stories live. Discover now