Bring you Back. (A Mashton fanfiction)

Chapter Twenty-One

**Michael's P.O.V**

I inhaled my cigarette once again staring at the wall. I promised I wouldn't hurt myself so smoking helped too. I've been stressed lately. I don't know really why I am most stressful. Maybe the fact that Christmas is coming up, or the fact that I might be going on tour. Which would be awesome honestly. I don't know, touring seems like it would ruin everything. I would have attention on me twenty-four seven, the boys and I would find way more reasons to fight about and Ashton and I... We'd have to split. They don't allow gay couples in the celebrity world, even if they did, hate would get only worse. I had so many thoughts that ran through my head. I did want to hurt myself. I want my wrist to look like Ashton's back. I want a blade dug into my skin. God damn it! Michael! Stop! I yelled at myself mentally and took a deep breath before taking another drag of my cigarette. Suddenly my door opened and I looked up at Ashton.

"Hey Mikey" he smiled sheepishly.

"Hey Ashy." I started and he came in, looking around my room, his nose cringed at the smell of smoke.

"You still smoke aye?" He asked and I nodded slowly, with a small amount of disappointment crossing my face. He smiled reassuringly and sat down next to me.

"Can I have it?" He asked and I resisted to.

"You're gonna throw it away. Am I right?" I asked taking another drag and he sighed before grabbing it out of my hands. Smashing it in the ash tray

"You know grabbing out of someone's hand isn't good" i remarked smartly and he rolled his eyes with a smile.

"Neither is smoking in the first place" he said and I sighed in defeat before pulling the blanket over me. He wouldn't except that and slowly lifted it up, smiling at me, before leaning down and kissing my cheek.

"Come on sleeping beauty. Sit up and tell me what's wrong Ash is here to make things better." Gosh he's so adorable. I smiled to myself and sat up, before sighing. A smile was nice for a second.

"I don't want to go on tour with these guys." I said quietly looking down and he slipped his fingers suddenly between mine. I looked up at him. He was biting his lip and squeezing onto the sheets of my bed. He seemed like he was trying to avoid saying something.

"W-Why not Mikey?" He asked shakily and I sighed again.

"Ashton. I over think things you know that. There are so many things that could go wrong" I whispered and he hugged me, he always knew when I needed a hug. I wanted to back but I didn't want to move.

"What are you so worried about?" He asked and I took a deep breath looking to gather my words.

"I can't lose you Ashton. The more publicity the more dangerous it's gonna be for us. We wouldn't be able to hold hands or kiss or anything. Ashton I can't deal with that. I can't deal with not showing how much I love you and putting you in danger like that. You were hurt once because of me, I won't let you get hurt again" I said and he pulled away wide eyed.

"Michael what happened wasn't your fault. St-"

"Yes! Yes it is my fault! What would be the chances of the two relationships I have almost being ruined by getting jumped. By the same God damn people! Stop lying to yourself and lying to me. I am a dangerous person. Bad news okay? I don't know why you bother with me."

"Will you always protect me?" He asked quickly staring into my eyes and as I started he said it again. "Will you protect me?" I nodded and wiped my tears.

"Of course I will Ashton. You know that." I said in a shaky voice.

"So if we get in trouble at the tour. We have each other. I won't let anything happen to you either baby" he said and carefully touched my face.