**Michael's P.O.V**
I held a tight grip on my glass of whiskey, listening at a low volume to my music. Therapy by All Time Low, sadly I seem to connect to this song a lot more as of lately. However, despite the awfully gloom lyrics the song is great itself. The buzz from the liquor overpowering nearly all my thoughts. I stretched out my legs along the couch arm and leaned my head on my hand. My body was still sore from today's horrible endurance. Mentally I was much worse than my physical pain though. I'm so sad as of lately, even Ashton's smile, which is absolutely adorable, can barely get a smile to meet my face. I know however I mustn't act even the slightest bit broken. For Ashton, Harry, the fans. What kind of person would I seem like if I allowed in anyway the sadness to show? They would realize I was weak, unable of protecting Ashton or even myself for that matter. No I wouldn't be able to live with myself if they knew the truth about how absolutely worthless I was. Suddenly Luke walked into the room, making my eyes shoot up as his figure stood in front of me.
"Oh hey, you're still up?" he asked and quietly I nodded. He stared at me and I could only look back, trying to figure out any sort of topic we could talk about to cut down the awkwardness.
"What's up?" I asked, looking past his body at the cable box. Was it really two o'clock in the morning? I think to myself and then my eyes trail back to Luke's. He shrugs his shoulders and moves near the end of the couch. Allowing him space, I bend my legs and he sits next to me.
"I was bored, lonely actually. Calum is sleeping and I wouldn't want to wake him up. I thought why not hang out with you, if that was alright." He utters sheepishly and I nod, fixing the couch pillow under my body.
"if you want to.." He smiles softly at me and I tense up uncomfortably. Honestly it's nothing against Luke but I can't help but be awkward and at a loss for words around him. Maybe it's all in my head but I can't help but barely be able to hold any sort of conversation with him. It's like we're not even friends, which is strange because he's almost like my brother.
"So Mikey, how's your day going?" He asked anxious to engage in any sort of conversation. I shrugged my shoulder and ruffled my hair quietly.
"Well I was vicious and mercilessly attacked by three men, my body is utterly aching in pain... So great." I sarcastically rolled my eyes and Luke became hushed. Sheepishly looking down he let out a heavy sigh.
"Michael, do you hate me?" He asks and I nearly stiffen up.
"No I don't.. Where would you ever get that idea from?" I reply, moving my head up a little to look at him. He looked at me, biting his lip softly.
"I mean you love Ashton and you and Calum are good but we don't even talk to one another... I can't help but feel like you hate me and it's sad. I don't want you to hate me." He frowned, fiddling his fingers and I couldn't help but frown as well. I don't want Luke to feel like that, the night I thought Ashton hated me, I absolutely lost it. I don't want Luke to ever feel the way I did.
"Luke I promise I do not hate you." I said quietly, getting anxious, I began playing with my fingers. "Just been a bit distracted lately. So much drama and honestly.. I hate life. I guess I can't help but give off a negative vibe"
"I hate that you're upset Michael. I hate that you hurt yourself and want to die. It fucking breaks my heart, I don't know why but it hurts me so fucking bad every time." The words nearly struck me, it can't be the truth, no one even cares about me.
"Michael!" A scream met my ears, making my eyes widen. It was Ashton. Oh my God, is he okay? In a panic, I rushed up stairs and an eager Luke followed behind me. Sitting up, holding the blanket in front of his terrified eyes. Ashton whimpered and crawled over to the edge of the bed. I sat down quickly and he clung onto me. Bad timing, but seeing Ashton just waking up with his hair all messed up and squinted eyes forcing themselves to stay open I can't help but get butterflies. He's just absolutely beautiful. I fingered Ashton's messy hair as he dug his head into the crook of my neck, still letting small whimpers escape his lips.
"Ashy, baby, what's wrong?" I whispered, as he cuddled closer to me.
"I had a dream about Jack.." He cried, you could hear the terror in his voice. I cooed him, trying my hardest to calm him down at least the slightest. "Michael I'm so scared" He began going into light sobs, I was filled with absolute guilt and sadness hearing my baby cry. I tried to calm him but the more I did, the more he cried. I literally felt my heart break.
"Ashton, don't cry you're alright. He's not going to hurt you okay? Just don't cry please baby" He squeezed me and we sat there only cuddling for a while until finally he fell asleep again, then I followed back downstairs with Luke. We both sat in our original spots quietly.
"Do you realize now why the fuck I have to pretend I'm happy?" I asked abruptly after a long time of silence. Luke stared at me quietly. "Ashton is so fucking depressed and I can't be too because then who would be there for him? How can I be something that holds him up if I can't even hold myself up. I have to wear a smile and say I'm fine, okay? But I'm not. I'm not fine at all." I said suddenly breaking. I'm not sure why that even came out but it did and Luke stated quietly at me in awe.
"You can't do that to yourself." Luke whispered. Looking at him, his bright eyes contrasting the dark room and I sighed.
"I need to, Jack broke him and I need to be there now."
"You know. It's ironic, Ashton's whole goal throughout all this was to help you get better. It seems like the table has turned" Luke spoke and I stood up, grabbing to my cup of whiskey and following into the kitchen. I dropped the cup lightly in to the sink and sighed, leaning against the counter.
"I understand Luke, it's not healthy. I don't care though, I care more about Ashton then I ever would care about myself." I heavily breathed and as Luke couldn't find the words to say I left upstairs to my room.
Hey guys, I have major writers block so this chapter is merely a filler chapter. God every time I look at the amount of reads I feel like I have to do a double take. Absolutely crazy c: How are you guys? I'm doing fairly well. Besides the fact of the lack of ideas. However I hope you may have enjoyed this chapter. I love you all and I'll try and update soon :) xx
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Bring you Back. (A Mashton fanfiction)
Teen Fiction***This fan fiction is a Mashton/Cake fanfic*** Everyone has a past. Some people have a past so dark it's changed them forever. Ashton Irwin was the new kid in the band. Leaving behind his abusive and alcoholic parents. Things don't get much better...
