LGBTQIAP+ Milestones: Book 3

Maybe I am not straight

By Musicgirl

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For as long I can remember, I knew I was different from people all my life around me.

I ask you guys to please be patient with me, I will ramble a bit then explain how I am coming out.

I am the girl who rarely talks and just sits in a corner just watching, I am the girl who wears a dress one day, but wears jeans and sarcastic t- shirts the next day, I am the girl who makes weird gestures with her hands and acts socially awkward.

The reason I act this way is because I have Autism.

I am extremely supportive of the LGBT and trans community, because before I even knew about LGBT, I always felt love is love and it didn't matter whether two people both of the same gender were in a relationship as long the both of them were happy, and gender never bothered me because I always focused on a persons personality rather than their appearance and other stupid stuff.

If you asked me what my sexuality was, nearly a year and half ago I would have straight without any hesitation.

But in the middle of 2016 I had a thought in my head that said " I wouldn't be surprised if I wasn't straight".

Honestly I don't know where thought came from it confused and scared me. Because I only knew about gay, straight, Lesbian, bisexual and pansexual at the time.

But I knew I only liked boys and unlike most people my age the idea of Kissing someone with tongue or having someone try and put their hands on me, or me making out and having sex with someone scared me and disgusted me because I am not really comfortable with any kind of touch.

And so I pretended to be straight and uncomfortable with my sexuality, because I didn't know the label for what my sexuality was.

And in December 2016 as Christmas was getting closer and closer I became more uncomfortable with the idea of being straight.

With the help of a couple of friends, I came to the conclusion I am hetro romantic and demisexual meaning I only like boys but I am only willing to hold hands, kiss them on the cheek or hug them. Because I am not affectionate touch wise and I am extremely uncomfortable with any type of touch.

I am basically out to most of my friends, but I still need to tell 3 friends and my parents. I don't plan on coming out to my parents anytime soon because I am scared of rejection. But I will tell my 3 friends when I get a chance to remember because with school and other stuff I get busy and forget to tell people stuff.

I am Vic and this my story