LGBTQIAP+ Milestones: Book 3

My Journey To Accepting Myself

By BangtanBromance

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Hello, I'm Zoë, I'm 14, and this is my story on how I found out I was bisexual.

So, it all started back in the 4th grade. I would always look at the other girls and I can specifically remember telling myself that I'm different from them, but I never knew how or why. I just remember constantly telling myself that I was different and never understanding my words 100%.Then, in fifth grade, I was walking down the halls of school and a thought just came into my mind. I remember the exact moment, it was so weird. I thought, "well, what if I'm gay?" This thought was a weird one at the time because my parents are extremely homophobic and religious so I was programmed to think that that was a horrible thing to be. So, in the 6th grade, I finally decided that whether I am this thing or not, I'm going to hide it. I'm not going to let people see that this is what I am, so I pushed it down and became really homophobic and religious like my parents. I remember saying these absolute disgusting things about anybody who wants straight. I look back and cringe bc it was so bad.7th grade wasn't the best year for me, mental health-wise. I became really sad, but I had a best friend. This best friend was in fact a female and she was in fact bisexual and I definitely formed feelings for her. After telling her that I think I like a female and me and her having a long talk about what I am or could've been, I finally labelled myself pansexual. Although that didn't completely feel right to me, I thought it gave me room to kind of explore my sexuality a bit so I stuck with hit.The summer before 8th grade I went into this, kind of, identity crisis, you could say. I wanted to just be me for once and the last 2 years I wasn't, so I knew it was time for me to just kind of let go of those fake personas and just be me for once. So, I started really thinking about who I am and who I want to be in the future and that's when I labelled myself as bisexual, and it fit a lot better to me than Pansexual. Now, I'm in a "flirtationship" I guess you could say, (in between friends and being in a relationship ??) With my female best friend and I couldn't be happier with who I am.I hope this helps anyone who is going through a similar circumstance. Just know you aren't alone and it's okay. You'll get through it ♡♡