LGBTQIAP+ Milestones: Book 3

A or Demi?

By Anonymous

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I am a straight female. Or at least, I think I am. Not exactly in the fact that I might be bi, but that I might be aromantic.

I have a problem. I like to consider myself a demiromantic/demisexual. Also hetero/straight. But the problem is, I have no idea if I'm actually just aromantic and in denial. For the past 13 years of my life I've had a few squishes. 1 in first, one in third that lasted until the end of fifth, one in sixth all the way to the middle of seventh. But the thing with these is that is all they are. Squishes. I wouldn't actually date any of them.

So maybe my problem is just that I just don't have a close enough male friend that is also my type and that's why I don't have actual crushes on anyone. But, maybe that's not it. I might be aromantic and I don't want that.

There's nothing wrong with aromantics. But I don't want to be one. I want to grow up and have a husband and children. Yes, adopting exists and I'm planning on doing that someday but a husband. I really want a husband. Kids grow up and leave eventually.

But I'm not going to force myself to love someone for the sake of having a marriage. I know some people do this but not me. It wouldn't feel right.

I need to know if anyone is going through something similar. The wanting for a family but there's just no more room to love anyone romantically. I've told my friends a bit about this but I don't think they've gotten the hint that I need advice and help. None of them are aromantic or demi so I don't think they COULD give me advice or help. I have one asexual but that's not the same thing. Please help me.