LGBTQIAP+ Milestones: Book 3

Rainbow Bombs

Anonymous

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Fairytales. A place where princesses, princes, and happily ever afters exist. Unfortunately, real life isn't a fairytale. At least, mine isn't. Trust me, I wish it was. So here it goes for nothing: the day that changed my life (possibly forever).

Once upon a time, there was a person, a person who struggled with depression, anxiety, and stress. Oh, and one more thing, this person wasn't straight, or cis-gender for that matter. This person was and is me. Hello everyone, I am gender fluid, panromantic, gynesexual. Definition?

My gender changes from a day to day basis, I love people for their personality, and I find women physically attractive. So yeah, I'm not your typical fairytale character, nor am I a normal person. I'm unique. I'm me. And I liked that for at least a year. Key word: liked. Something changed. And that almost happily ever after went wrong.

The world decided to mess with me.It all started when I was skipping in the forest with dear old mother. It was a beautiful forest, colorful and full of life. We were on this journey to become closer. And what better way than to tell my mother who I was?

"Hey, mom I like girls and boys," I said simply. I said just that to test the water.My wonderful mother turned to me. Her face was no longer human. Her face portrayed that of a deformed hawk.

"Excuse me?"

I gulped. "I'm bisexual."

I lied. Just a small lie.

All hell broke lose. My bird of a mother flapped her wings, screeched, cried and word-slapped me.

"That's unnatural! That's unnatural!" she squawked.I shrunk, I folded, I fell. I tried to run.

"No, mom, it's completely okay--"

"No it's not! You are a disgrace, you're selfish! I can't believe something like you has been born from my blood. Wait till I tell your father!"

I breathed heavily and stopped running from the bird. "I want to tell him."

"No, he's my husband I will tell him.

"Next day..."I told your father."

I froze. "Why? I wanted to tell him."

"It's my right!" Mother screeched.

Silence. A pin dropped.

"HOW COULD YOU? ARE ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS LIKE THIS? VERISITY?"

"No." Not a lie. At least, I didn't know.

"SARA?"

"No." Lie number one. She liked girls and boys.

"MADDIE?"

"No." Lie number two. She was pansexual.

"SONA?"

"Yes." She was open about it. No need to hide it.

"THAT'S WHY, ISN'T IT? ARE YOU TWO DATING?"

"No! Of course not!"

Mother the hawk took a deep breath. "You think it's some kind of trend, don't you?"

"No! It's who I am!"

I couldn't take it anymore. I liked who I was. She was tearing me apart.

"You said you like boys, right?" Mother asked.

"Yes. And girls." I didn't add the part where I could like other genders as well. My mom wouldn't take that well.

She shook her head. "Then can't you just choose a boy?"

I wanted to slap myself or laugh. Instead, I said, "No. I love who I love."

"Why? It's unnatural."

I sighed. "It doesn't work that way."

She gave me a disgusted face. "You're selfish. What will the rest of our family think? Your cousins? Your aunts and uncles? Your grandparents? They'll spit on you if they knew."

"I don't care! I like who I am!"

"YOU ARE SELFISH!"

"I don't understand how love is selfish!"

"YOU CAN'T TELL! PROMISE ME YOU WILL CHANGE!"

I cried. I couldn't hold it in any longer. "Or else you leave me no choice but to lie to everyone in our family."

"No. I didn't want that. I was heartbroken and guilt trapped."

"Fine. I'll change," I sobbed. A lie. I knew it wasn't going to happen.

And that was my happily never after.Now I want to tell all of you, not everyone's parents are like mine. My younger brother was much more accepting and didn't care that I wasn't my family's "normal." So if you're in the closet, please don't be scared by my story. It just shows that not everyone is open minded, which is a sad. If you have homophobic or transphobic people in your life, seek out those who will accept you. I promise they're out there. If anything else, please understand: don't change who you are as a person. You're you. Rainbows and all. My story is one of many, and there are many happier stories than mine. Take those as your inspiration and mine as a cautionary tale of what could happen, not will. And even though my family hates my sexuality, my friends don't. They love me, support me, and give me courage to live on. So please, here's my message to you: don't give up on yourself. Live. Laugh. Love. You're all wonderful human beings ;)