LGBTQIAP+ Milestones: Book 3

Sorry, but I set my own standards

By EEFWantstobattle

~

Me and my mom had been arguing. We were telling, that kind of arguing.

We were on the way to my friends.

I already knew I was bi, because I had liked a girl from my school. And I liked someone from a TV that was also a girl. But I also was in love with my ex boyfriend, so I kinda knew I was bi. For awhile though, I had kinda been confused.

I always looked at girls, and looked at them as all my other crushes. But when I'd ask myself if I was gay, or bi, I always told myself no. But then, The Walking Dead had to bring in Beth, and I knew then I liked her.

(Continuing to the story) So, we were on the way to my friends, and we pulled up. I opened my car door, and said,

"By the way-" slammed it shut. (The window was open) "- I'm bisexual. I like girls and guys."

And walked up to the door.

I was crying. Why? I don't know. I was just upset. It wasn't horrible crying, but was pretty bad. My friend had helped me through it.

So, she told me she'd rather have me pregnant, and that she didn't even want me home. (Well, not directly at me, but she told that to my friends parents).

So, anyways, I didn't understand. My grandma is gay. My uncle, aunt, and my other aunt. So why not except me? She did for everyone else.

So, I started telling myself I wasn't bi. I told myself I was straight. And well, that didn't work.

And I was nervous to tell anyone.

So, I remember this pretty well, I was almost going to take a shower, and I was texting my (now ex) boyfriend. We had gotten back together, but that's not too important.

I was saying something about how I liked a girl before, and sent the message without realizing I never told him I was bi. And I was freaking out.

'Wait, what?' He had responded.

'Oh yea. I'm bi. Uh, I hope that's not a problem?'

And I waited for about two minutes before he replied.

'of course it's not. I love you the way you are, baby'

And that's when I told myself that if my boyfriend could accept me for being bi, then so could a lot of other people. I was overjoyed with the fact he was ok with it.

But my mom? Still turned her head away at the thought. Ever since I told her, it's gone to hell. She's been mentally abusive, and even sometimes physically. Not too bad, but still. If I liked a guy and told her, it's

"Awe"

And if it's a girl?

'Oh... that's... nice..' annnnnd back to what she was doing.

Recently as well, I've been feeling more like a guy. I don't know how this will come up later, but.

So lately, I've been hoping it'd get better.

But as much as I care about how she feels about me, I no longer want to change myself to fit 'Her standards' for me.