LGBTQIAP+ Milestones: Book 3

Questioning...A LOT

By Malcolm Sarcastic_Nerdy

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This is weird for me to write because I haven't really talked to anyone about what I'm feeling. I'm 15 years old and I live in Georgia. My family is completely composed of pastors and ministers and very traditional Southern Baptist Church goers.

I've been seriously questioning my sexuality for a while now and I am almost 100% sure that I am bisexual. I feel like I could come out to my friends at school, except for I don't want my family to somehow get word of it. I want to come out to my sister, and I feel she'd be accepting, but I know she doesn't agree with it. She's one of those people who feels that LGBTQ+ people should have rights but doesn't necessarily agree with homosexuality.

Anyways, for a long as I have been aware of what I am wearing, I have been pretty tomboyish or androgynous. I like having long and big hair, but I enjoy wearing t-shirts and jeans and sneakers and when I'm not in school uniform, it's pretty much what I'm always wearing. But last year, I attended the 8th grade dance and was forced to wear a dress. I asked my mom if I could wear a dress and she told​ me that she doesn't want people to think I'm living an, 'alternative lifestyle'. Whatever that means. In a month or so, I'm being forced to wear a dress for my best friend's quince and I don't want to but it's her birthday so I'm complying.

Reading other stories on Milestones has started to make me question my gender identity as well. Whenever I see stories about transguys or genderfluid people, it sounds like something similar to what I feel like. I think I might just be genderfluid though. I really don't know. I go by Malcolm because my friends and I last year, out of pure boredom, came up with opposite gender names and mine kinda just stuck. People call me both my real name and Malcolm now and I really like it. I think I'd still stick with she/her pronouns.

I'm pretty sure this wasn't helpful to ANYONE, but just wanted to get this stuff off of my chest and this is the first time I'm spoken, or written, openly about my feelings besides the one time I contacted a counselor at the TrevorProject. I'm gonna keep reading and learning and I wish everyone the best!

-Malcolm

If anyone wants to message me, they can at Sarcastic_Nerdy