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(Happy New Year! Okay, there are a lot of voicemails. Please bear with me during all of those. They are imperative though. I had a lot of fun writing them actually. This is the penultimate chapter! Can you believe it? Warning: this is quite a long chapter, hopefully it does not get boring!)


 This is the penultimate chapter! Can you believe it? Warning: this is quite a long chapter, hopefully it does not get boring!)

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I WAS HEARTBROKEN

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I WAS HEARTBROKEN.

It felt as if my heart had turned into glass the moment I told Diego I loved him. Admitting those feelings made me somewhat transparent, but also vulnerable. When Diego completely shut me down, the glass that was my heart shattered into millions of tiny sharp shards. Each shard seemed to tear at my insides bringing unbearable pain.

I was humiliated.

I had given myself over to Diego. I had told him that I loved him. Deep down I knew that I could not expect him to say he loved me back, but I never expected that. The coldness that he showed me came out of nowhere and hurt like more than anything I have ever experienced.

I was fragile.

Francesca and Leon made sure to never say his name during the last two weeks knowing that if they did I would burst into tears. Because it still pained me. His icy voice clouded my thoughts, freezing me as if I was outside in snow in a swimsuit.

I was regretful.

I never should have allowed myself to get close to him. I never should have allowed the physical attraction I felt towards him turn into this undeniable feeling called love. I never should have believed him when he told me that he cared about me because all it brought was unnecessary misery.

I was lonely.

Not physically, Francesca and Leon tried their best to ensure that I was never left alone long enough to cry. And Maya was great company, she was extremely energetic and would only take a break if she passed out. But I felt lonely, I missed his presence. I missed rolling my eyes at him and seeing his smile that I grown to love.

I was depressed.

I hated to admit it but I was dejected. Everything that Diego had told me seemed to stick. Maybe I was not only worthless to him but I was generally meaningless. Maybe I was stupid to think that he would ever love me.

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