Cardcaptor Sakura: The New Trials (Wish-luv)

Chapter 73: The Other Side of Midnight

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A little past midnight, Sunday, the day of the Li Group board meeting...

Li Syaoran watched the girl sitting awkwardly on the edge of his bed atop the plaid green duvet cover, her back turned from him. Her short hair was slightly damp from her bath, and little golden brown tendrils fell out of a loose ponytail, down her slim neck.

A few months ago, he was not even sure he would be able to return to this country, this apartment, to her side. And yet, against all odds, here she was, just an arm's length away. He lifted his left hand, fingers outstretched so that if she tilted just an inch backward, he would be able to touch her. So close, and yet, she felt further from him than ever. There was a time she would confide in him her deepest thoughts and worries, and there was a time when he could read her, just by watching her always changing expressions, the way her smooth brows would crease every so slightly, or her lower lip would quiver. Yet, in that span of a year since they were separated, turned their backs and stamped out their memories of each other, traveled to the Dragon Isles, and reconciled, there was this girl that he could no longer read, no longer completely understand. Was that the price he had to pay for the gamble he took, to return here, to be with her?

Withdrawing his hand, he shifted, turning around on the bed. He uttered a question that had weighed heavy on his heart over the past year. "Why did you go out with Eron?"

After some time, she replied, "I don't know." She hesitated. "I wanted to make him happy."

It was a very Sakura-like answer. He was staring at the wallpaper on the far wall and missed a queer, strained expression that washed over her face. And he asked quietly, "Would you have dated him, even if you hadn't lost your memories?"

"Yes, I think I would have."

Usually he appreciated her honesty, but he almost felt reproachful toward her for those words he had dreaded hearing. Syaoran was glad that he was not facing her, for he knew he would frighten her if she could see him now. This unspoken wall between them that he had never noticed before. Had it always been there? Had he just never noticed? Chang Eron. Since the moment he had appeared in their lives three years ago, Syaoran had loathed him, not because he was a Dark One, not because he was a descendant of Chang Ruichi and the son of Chang Ryouta, his fathers' nemesis, but because he was who he was. Eron had always been lurking near Sakura, with that possessive look in his eyes, biding his time. Syaoran regretted asking, for some things are better left unsaid, unheard. Yet, he also felt a perverse sense of relief, that it had been inevitable, for it was easier to blame inevitability than his own mistakes and missteps.

Because he had nothing to say, he shut his eyes, trying to summon asleep. The Li Group Japan board meeting would be held in several hours, and he hadn't done any preparation for his presentation since Friday, when Sakura appeared in front of his doorsteps as his manager for the weekend, and Meilin took off for the gymnastics meet. Syaoran hadn't gotten much sleep the previous night either, since Sakura dozed off in the midst of labeling files, a most fascinating process to watch. Her eyes began to droop, then her head bobbed back and forth, and finally she collapsed, forehead first, into the pile of papers. He had leaned over on the table, chin on his arms, watching paper flutter from her soft breath. Before he did anything stupid, he had carried her and dumped her into his bedroom—the nearest room—and shut the door behind him as quickly as possible.

Sakura must have thought he had fallen asleep, for her weight shifted from the other end of the bed and the springs creaked. She whispered, "I'll turn off the lamp then," reaching for the switch.

Darkness. He had never been afraid of darkness, or of being alone, until he had entered the place in between dimensions, or as some called it, Limbo. He had not known what true solitude was, what despair was, until he had entered that place. If Sakura had not called him back, he would still be there in the Cavern of Reservoirs. Even now, he did not want to be alone, trapped in his mind, in the web of his greatest fears and anxieties. He uttered the only word he could think of at that moment, "Stay." He wasn't sure if Sakura would, and yet, she did.