Colby Brock x reader Imagines

bully

(highskool imagine)
(an:::::in no way am i romanticizing self harm, i would never, as someone who has/does self harm, i do not believe that a boy/girl can fix/cure depression, its a mental health issues and it's not curable by another person.)

i walked down the hallway, keeping my head down not to make eye contact with anyone, staring at everyones shoes.
someone knocked into my shoulder, hard, making me drop all my books on the floor.
"watch where you're going cow." i heard a familiar voice scoff.
i looked up, Colby brock was standing in my face with his friend, Sam.
i walked out of school quickly making my way to my car, breaking down and crying onto my steering wheel. I started my car wiping my eyes and starting my engine. i noticed Colby staring at me from the front doors. I sighed, driving away, to my secret hideaway, a waterfall, in a forest.
i sat on a picnic table, carving at the table, listening to Rock + roll by eden, dreaming about the days, when i could leave this place.
i felt a tap on my shoulder, quickly taking out my earphones, thinking i was about to get murdered, "sorry didn't mean to scare you.." Colby sat next to me, i furrowed my eyebrows, wondering why he was even talking to me, or even sitting next to me.
I looked at him, into his piercing blue eyes and my breath became shaky.
"Im sorry about today." he sighed looking down at his hands, fidgeting with them.
"You mean every day since you became popular?" i spat, we used to be best friends until he got hot and became something he wasn't.
"yea...that...im not proud of it...at all..." he looked up at me,
"i messed up with you, i know." he bit his lip and i looked away from him,
"worse than you think Brock. You can't just bully me for three years and expect me to forgive you."
"i let popularity get to me, and take away one of my best friends." he reached for my hand but i pulled it further away.
"No, Colby, you broke my trust and made me think, that i messed up, and hurt you, and that i deserved every insult you threw at me." i laughed in tears.
raising my sleeves, revealing scars from cuts all over my skin.
"y/n...im sorry," he covered his face with his hands, sighing.
"It's fine, i stopped doing it a year ago, it was stupid, you're stupid. but they're not just because of you making me hate myself, they're other things, like my parents and siblings, everything Colby." i took a breath,
"im just disappointed because you were supposed to be there for all of it." i wiped my eyes,
"I loved you. And you turned against me and made me hate every part of who i was, made me think it was my fault." i looked down. Unable to say anything else.
"You're the one i counted on the most and you let me down."
"Im so sorry y/n...i was in the moment, and i changed. But there wasn't one day where i didn't think of you. It's inexcusable, i'm taking full blame here, I just wish i could go back, never leave you...help you with everything going on with your family...not be an extra reason for all that ...cause i really did love you too.." he said.
we sat in silence, taking everything in.
i looked towards him,
"So you wanna get some coffee or something?" i asked, a smile growing on my face.
"Yes. i would fucking love to." he smiled back.