Colby Brock x reader Imagines

loosing her

third person
october 21

*camera turned on*

Colby wiped his eyes, "this is going to be the second hardest video i've ever filmed." He sniffled adjusting the camera. He sat on his bed, his eyes roaming everywhere but the camera. "so i wanna talk about y/n. i just wanna say, im sorry, i dont talk about her anymore, i know you guys cared about her, and loved her as much as i did, but, its just so hard-" his eyes continued to water and he sniffled again, trying not to break down.

"So its been officially a year, since she committed suicide. which is so difficult for me to say, uhh, so i thought i'd dedicate this video to her, talk about her. i asked you guys to ask me some simple questions about her, non death questions out of respect." he pulled out his phone and wiped his eyes once more.

"when y/n walked down the aisle, what thoughts went through your mind?" he read, he smiled to himself, sadness was noticed through his eyes. "as you guys know we got married in Vegas with all the roommates by us, it was impulsive and stupid but y/n was so thrilled with the idea, and the minute she walked down the aisle with her red dress, i knew everything was meant to be, that she was the love of my life, and i thought she was the most beautiful girl i'd ever laid my eyes on, and my opinion has never changed." he explained, sighing as he finished.

"What's your saddest memory of y/n?" he read the question and began thinking of all of his time with her, dissecting the worst moments.
"oh my god, this is hard, i'll try not to cry, but a week before she ended her life, she had given me lil peep tickets to go see him live. She told me to have a good time, and when i asked her why she wouldn't come with me she told me she had somewhere important to be, and when i asked what could've been more important than peep, she told me that that day was going to be very important so i offered to join her and whatever she had to do and she said she couldn't do it while i was around so i accepted the tickets and i never understood until the day came, and i realized what she had meant, there was just so many signs i had missed and i could've saved her but she didn't want to be saved, she just pushed me away." he cried, and this time he didn't stop himself, he wanted his viewers to know how much pain he was in.

"did she leave you a letter?" he read, he sighed again and looked up at the camera nodding.
"yeah, of couse she did, im not going to say what was in it, but i can say that she just wanted me to have a good day seeing lil peep, she told me she didn't want me to feel saddened by her loss, but a sense of relief, that i was loosing her for my own well being. but she was so wrong." he broke down in front of the camera, Sam opened his bedroom door, coming to his knees next to Colby.

"colby are you okay?! what are you filming?" he asked, colby continued to cry, "answering questions about y/n.." he cried. Sam sighed taking his best friend into a hug, Sam began to cry too. "i'm so sorry, i'm so sorry Colby, we all miss her so much, but i could never imagine loosing Kat. Maybe this video isn't something you should be filming.." Sam comforted his friend. "i have to, they have questions, i want them to know she wasn't sad! that she was a happy person, that it was surprising!" he cried into Sam's shoulder. "they don't need confirmation Colby, we knew y/n and she loved the shit out of you, she would hate to know you're crying over her in front of the camera, she would want you to be happy that you knew her, not sad that shes gone." Sam tried to make him feel better but without y/n colby felt empty.

"let's turn off the camera and get comfortable, we can go visit her at the cemetery and then delete this video, you have plenty of videos of you both on your computer, we can watch those together and go to her favourite restaurant okay?" Sam offered, colby nodded and got up, making his way out of the house with him.

IDK WHAT THE POINT OF THIS WAS IM JUST IN A SAD MOOD, SORRY.

did you enjoy it though? let me know🍒