In Omnia Paratus Book 3

All is right in the world?

"I mean how insensitive is she?" I yelled at Richard as we sat in his room.

"Yeah she was rude Jen, I don't know what else to say." Richard shrugged.

"I can't believe she would bring up getting pregnant and throw it in my face." I sighed.

"She was probably just trying to find something to upset you. Sounds like you were angry with her the entire time and upsetting her." He shrugged.

"Well kinda." I frowned. "You have to agree with me that sharing my private information is wrong and she has been more distant with me after I miscarried and after maisie."

"Jen I completely agree that she should not be telling your friends about what happened recently. It's totally insensitive but I have to disagree with you as well. Don't you think that Lily's feeling the pressure too? In Maisie's case you got seriously depressed to the point of cutting... how is she meant to stay your close friend?" Richard explained.

"And when you distance yourself from everyone you think it's easy for Lily to come to you and ask if your okay? It takes a lot of courage to do something like that especially when you tell her to leave you alone." He continued.

"I guess I never thought of it from her perspective. You think she gets hurt by what I go through too?" I mumbled.

"It affects her greatly. She doesn't stop going on about how scared she was the night you came to her and told her about the miscarriage. She's said she couldn't sleep that night or anything. That it was horrible to watch you bleed and bleed and have to change sheets a hundred times." Richard smiled.

"Oh god."

"I didn't say that for you to now feel bad for her or that you should kick her out of your life. I just wanted you to know what was happening behind the scenes." He explained.

"I feel like an idiot. She's always been there for me and just treated her like crap." I breathed. "I'll be over later, I'm going to go back to house and apologise."

"Alright, don't be too long I need to discuss something with you." Richard nodded and I rushed out of the door.

- - - - -

I rushed back to the house half in tears because I was just feeling a lot of emotions recently and I really just wanted my best friend.

When I ran in the house I went immediately to Lily's room and she heard me coming and we ended up meeting on the landing and giving each other the biggest hug.

"I'm sorry," I cried into her shoulder.

"Me too," Lily squeezed me tightly,

"I've been a mess and that's not on you lil I know that I'm sorry." I sniffed as we were still hugging.

"I've been a bad friend, I should have been there for you not gossiping about you. It was scary but I shouldn't have run away I should have helped you." Lily  said.

"I didn't know my bad feelings were passing on to you too. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too." She sniffed hugging me tight.

- - - - -

"Finally everything seems right in the world... kinda, sorta, almost..." I laughed sitting down next to Richard on the sofa. We were all watching a film, the whole flat, but only Richard and I and Lily and Matt were downstairs and ready.

Holly and grace were going to get blankets. Alex, Max and Tom were getting beers and snacks for everyone.

"Just in time for your 20th birthday." Richard kissed the side of my head.

"Yeah I guess." I smiled.

"Lil can you help me bring down some more pillows from my room?" I asked grabbing her wrist.

"Oh sure." She leaped up and we went upstairs. "What ones do you mind everyone sitting all over? The grey ones?" Lily asked as we went into my room.

"What's happening in a few weeks?" I asked quickly.

"Is that a trick question?" Lily scoffed.

"Lil!" I moaned.

"Your birthday? Is that the right answer?" She asked.

"Is it? I saw your face when he mentioned my birthday it looked guilty. What's happening?" I asked.

"I don't know!"

"After everything that's happened recently I told everyone, no surprises, no party, nothing. Can you promise me that?" I demanded.

"Uhh, well... no I can't promise you that." Lily sighed.

"What?"

"Richard came to me a few weeks back and said that he had something really special for your birthday. He wanted advice on how to surprise you but I said I didn't really want a part in it since you expressed that you wanted to be calm this year." Lily smiled.

"What was it?"

"I don't know but I've been worried all week." She sighed.

"About what?"

"The way he was talking I thought it sounded like he wanted to propose or something." Lily admitted.

"I'm 19, I'm not ready to get married." I snapped.

"Well you'll be 20 when he asks you. If he asks you..." Lily breathed.

"You know what I mean. I'm not ready. Lil..."

"I know what you mean Jen, you don't want to be with Richard do you?" Lily sighed.

"Guys! We're almost ready, film on in 10 mins!" A call from downstairs came. Good job Lily and I had the top floor to ourselves to talk in private.

"Lily what are you talking about?" I sighed at the guys call.

"It's nothing." Lily shrugged picking up the pillows. "Films going to start." She sighed.

"No what do you mean I don't want to be with Richard?" I asked again.

In that moment she did something stupid and something she'd regret doing. "Well, Jenna first explain...what does this mean?" Lily leapt forward grabbing me by the arm and pulling up my jumper sleeve, then straight afterwards she grabbed the other arm and did the same.

"Lily stop!" I shriek backing away from her.

"All is right in the world now you're harming yourself again yeah?" Lily snapped.