In Omnia Paratus Book 3

Mental Health

"Ok I'm going to jump right into it." This woman from mental health care said after she figured out I wasn't too impressed that I had to talk to her.

"Great." I hummed sarcastically.

"It's just a few questions and tick boxes so uh before we start... you don't have to answer any question that you feel uncomfortable with or don't want to discuss with me, just say pass and we will move on." She smiled.

"Ok." I nodded sitting back on the bed because I was beginning to feel tired of this already.

"Alright, what mental health experiences have you had before this incident?" She began.

"Gosh big question." I joked.

"Ok an example being have you harmed yourself before? Attempted suicide like this before?" She asked.

"I harmed myself before started just over a year ago and it's been on and off since then. This was the first attempt at suicide." I mumbled.

"Alright.." She jotted some stuff down on her clipboard before speaking again. "Right now what are your feelings?" She asked.

"What kind of question is that?" I scoffed quite angry.

"Jenna you don't have to answer if you're uncomfortable though it would make this easier..." this woman repeated.

"I feel numb I guess. I don't feel how I did when I took those pills let's put it that way." I grumbled.

"Ok thank you." She nodded. "And what are you housing circumstances?"

"Live in a house with 7 other people. I'm at university." I hummed.

"Do you have a part time job?" She asked.

"I work at a modelling agency." I shrugged.

"And do you have a boyfriend? Girlfriend?" She asked.

"Boyfriend Yes." I nodded.

"Do you have a good relationship? Do you see one another often? Do you two often fight? Does anything in your relationship put a strain on the way you feel?" She asked.

"Sorry, What has this got to do with anything?" I snapped suddenly.

"I seemed to have struck a cord." She breathed.

"I just don't think the inner workings of my relationship are anyone's but mine and his business..." I said rudely shaking my head.

"You don't have to answer." She scribbled a long note down when she said that. "Are you close with your family?" She asked.

"Ha!" I just laughed because I didn't know how to answer that.

"Why is that funny exactly?"

"Well you asked the girl who volunteered to go to a boarding school if she's close to her family. No, Im not." I joked.

"Is that in connection to your mothers death?" She asked.

"How do you know about that?" I breathed.

"I have yours and your families notes for history of mental health problems."

"Oh brilliant. Yes so you know everything don't you? My mother died, my father remarried and has two kids with someone else." I smirked feeling really shitty all of a sudden.

"Shall we move on?" She wrote down a whole paragraph about that question. "How often and how much do you consume alcohol or any other drugs?"

"Well recently I'd say I'm very into consuming drugs, you know... considering why I'm here." I scoffed at this ridiculous question.

"Right Jenna, you need to take this seriously." She breathed nicely.

"I don't drink a lot. And not often. I've smoked weed once in my life on holiday and haven't felt the urge to do it again since. Does that answer your question?" I snapped.

"Last couple of questions uh do you have anyone who depends on you? Children, relatives, the elderly?"

"Sorry this is unbelievable but you have my notes don't you? You can see I miscarried recently and my baby died three years ago? So No. I don't have anyone depending on me." I sighed.

"And lastly what are you aspirations for the future?"

"Well yesterday my aspirations were to end my life in my bed so I've had to rework them recently... now they're to survive as long as I can before these thoughts take over my own head." I said sarcastically and she breathed deeply at my rudeness.

"Jenna..." Lily hummed as she had just walked in and stood there for the last few questions.

"Thanks for the chat Jenna. Victoria will be back in any minute to discharge you." This woman who was clearly either upset or annoyed left the room.

"You're upset I get it but that poor women didn't deserve that." Lily lectured me sitting down with me on the edge of my bed.

"Well she asked some stupid questions, I gave stupid answers." I hummed clutching my forehead with my hand.

"What's the matter?" She asked nicely.

"I know I was rude, I know I was wrong but I can't help it." I muttered just groaning into my hand.

"Hey it's ok." Lily placed an arm around me and stroked my arm.

- - - - -

"And that's it all done, you're discharged free to go. But remember what I said, you've got those helplines or call 999. Or if you feel like come into a&e and see me yeah?" Victoria smiled at me.

"Yeah." I managed to smile slightly but still not really a smile. She started to leave but I called suddenly. "Victoria Thank you, any other Doctor wouldn't put up with me."

"No problem Jenna. Just keep yourself healthy and make sure we don't meet each other again like this." She smiled turning away to leave and she let Lily and Matt in.

"Hey." Matt smiled. Lily automatically sat down next to me, she knew there was no rushing or anything, we were going to do this slowly.

"Jen I told him everything." Lily shrugged. "I hope that's ok, I just needed to vent and you did say I could..." she looked worried.

"It's fine Lily." I nodded at her. I stood up placing my bag on my shoulder and was dressed in clothes Matt had brought in for me. It was winter so it was a jumper luckily to hide my arms and leggings.

"Are you ok?" Matt said staring at me as I just stood there not moving.

"No." I breathed in heavily before I just started to cry. I walked towards Matt and he hugged me tightly while Lily stood up and stroked my back.

"Jenna it's going to be ok. We're going to look after you until you can get better help." Lily told me.

"Come on let's go home." He let go of me in this hug and I sniffed and wiped my eyes pretending it never happened.

"Thank you." I held Lily's hand all the way to the car where they made me sit in the front seat. Presumably so they could keep an eye on me. Though I just fell asleep for the 30 minute car journey it was.