In Omnia Paratus Book 3

Discharged?

"Jen?" Lily asked whilst we were sat in silence on my hospital bed waiting for me to be either transferred or discharged.

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something quite deep?" Lily wondered.

"Aren't we already quite deep?" I scoffed.

"Yeah well can I?" She asked.

"Shoot." I nodded.

"When you took those pills did you really think that was going to be the end of your life?" She said and I was not expecting her to come out with that. Clearly it had been on her mind a lot.

"Yes." I sighed. "About halfway through I was feeling sick and thought it was stupid but then once I'd gone so far I just accepted in my brain that I was going to fall asleep and not wake up again."

I saw her face go really sad and I stared at her. "Sorry it's just I thought..."

"Thought it was attention seeking?" I asked.

"No... well I don't know what I thought. Maybe I thought you didn't know what you were doing. You were reaching out for help." Lily shrugged.

"I wasn't out of my mind, I knew exactly what I was doing when I took those pills." I nodded. "I have one wish that if I am discharged that I stay out of hospital until my birthday afterwards I'll go back in but I can't spend my birthday on a ward."

"On that subject kinda, your dad picked up violet today." Lily hummed.

"Oh god don't remind me." I breathed. "Did you tell him anything?"

"I told him you were sick in hospital but not why or how because you're not a kid anymore and legally it's up to you if you want your parent to know." She shrugged.

"Thank you lil."

"He'll want to know why soon though. He's a concerned father." Lily smiled. "He asked me a million questions and I had to just tell him you were fine."

"I'm sure I'll get round to telling him too." I mumbled before Victoria came in.

"Hey, So it is what we feared. There aren't any beds available on any assessment wards at the moment. So you'll have to be discharged for now and I'll give you a ring when a bed becomes available. For now I have to run through some homecare..." Victoria started.

I was over the moon that I wasn't in this weird ward yet I had a few days to get back to normal again. Maybe prove I didn't need to be in there. Though I knew it was unlikely I had to do this for myself and my friends.

"Alright." I nodded.

"You'll be let go in about an hour after you have a short conversation with a colleague of mine from mental health. It's nothing too daunting she just wants to get your side of the story when it comes to what happened. She'll probably ask what what's making you feel this way and just get an idea of how urgent you are on getting a bed in a ward. I'll need to speak to you Lily while she's doing that about some more aftercare." Victoria smiled.

Lily and I both agreed.

"Then we will set up an action plan for you and you'll be discharged." Victoria explained and she could see how unimpressed I was. I didn't want any of this happen.

"Ok can I Uh speak to you a second?" Lily asked standing up suddenly which I found a bit surprising.

"Sure..." Victoria nodded and they left the room.

"That's it? She tried to take her own life and you're just letting her go?" Lily snapped at Victoria when they went into a separate room.

"Look Lily I sympathise because Jenna is my friend and it must be awful seeing her like this but there's isn't psychically room to keep her here. It sucks I know the system sucks but there really is nothing I can do. It's the way things work." Victoria explained.

"But she has to go home? After all of this, the state she was in... she has to go back to that room where I found her? Nothings going to change is it?" Lily sighed shaking her head.

"Mental health doesn't just change overnight I'm afraid." Victoria nodded. "If there was anything else I could do I would do it. She going to be filled with information on who she should call if she's feels like that again and she'll be expected to go to therapy sessions again." She shrugged.

"Alright, I get it I'm sorry, thanks for everything you've managed to do." Lily breathed turning away and seeing Matt stood there outside Jenna's room.

"Everything ok?" He asked.

"She's being sent home." Lily nodded.

"Well that's good surely? Means she's not that bad." Matt asked.

"No it means she is that bad but there's no room so she has to go home." Lily snapped.

"Are we going to tell Richard then because this can't go on much longer." Matt scoffed, Lily had told him everything that had happened because Jenna did technically say she could.

"No I promised that I wouldn't tell anyone. The one exception was you and I'm not arguing with her about this. I'm not going to be the cause of why she does it again." Lily shook her head.

"Well we just have to be there for her then." Matt hugged Lily.

"Yep, god I haven't even changed her bed, it still has blood on it..." lily breathed. "It's going to be in the same state as when she left."

"We can change them when we get home don't worry." Matt hummed.

"I wanted to have time to go through her room and tidy it and change the sheets when she wasn't there so she had no reminders and now I won't get that chance." Lily argued.

"Lil, it's fine. Calm down, let's just get through these next couple of hours alright?" Matt asked her.

"Alright." She nodded.