In Omnia Paratus Book 3

The Full Story

"Richard—"

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner? You knew?" Richard yelled at Lily.

"Hey it's not her fault." Matt called.

"I'm her boyfriend I deserved to know if she was attempting..." he couldn't say it.

"Suicide?" Lily snapped.

"Yes. If she was in hospital or upset. I needed to know." He moaned but you could tell he was more angry at himself than Lily.

"Richard look, I had to find her in that state, talk to her in her lowest moment where she didn't make sense... I got covered in her blood because her arms were bleeding so badly. Every time I close my eyes I see Jenna laying in that bed surrounded by blood and talking nonsense on drugs. Swearing that it was all going to be over soon..." Lily cried for the first time about it all because if made her feel so crap.

"I'm sorry Lily but I could have been there to help if you called me." He said.

"She didn't want you near her. We all had a role in this, we all caused this in one way or another. And I was doing everything I could to be on her side, do what she says and have her trust me so I could look after her." Lily breathed.

"How did I cause this?" Richard sighed.

"You lied to her. She called you and begged for you to come over before she OD'd and you said no. She poured out her feelings to you and said you were busy." Lily moaned.

"It was then? After she called?" Richard breathed.

"Yes and it's not all on you. I had a funny turn that day and my legs were all tingly so she started to feel guilty too, and when she couldn't find anyone to talk to she just... found pills." Lily explained.

"So we both did this?" Richard sighed.

"Guys Hey, don't take the blame here. Jenna hasn't been right for a while now and we all know that. Yes there are things all of us could have done but we didn't let's just move forward and make sure it doesn't happen again." Matt intervened.

"He's right." Lily smiled.

"I should probably go find her then." Richard nodded.

"Yeah go on ahead we will be right in." Lily smiled.

- - - - -

"Hey." Richard smiled placing a hand on my shoulder. I jumped and turned to face him.

"Oh hey Richard we haven't seen you in a while." Alex said as I was stood with the people we lived with.

"Just been busy." He smiled and then glanced at me.

"Want a drink?" He offered us both a beer and we took them sipping them and then continuing to chat over the loud music.

"Jen can I just steal you for a sec?" Richard smiled looking down at me.

I nodded and smiled slightly.

"You don't have to be here you know? We can go do something fun or just go hang out upstairs if you're more comfortable." He smiled.

"Richard that's really sweet but I am having fun I promise." I nodded.

- - - - -

"Lily!" Richard caught her whilst she was alone for a second.

"What are you doing where's jen?" Lily asked.

"She fine, with Matt and all your housemates having a laugh in the corner on the sofa." Richard said.

"Oh ok good." Lily smiled turning away pouring herself a drink.

"I want to know what happened the other day, what exactly happened when you found her, what she said, everything." Richard whispered.

"Is now the time?" Lily frowned.

"Yes she's occupied there's loud music so she won't hear us. Let just go into the toilet and you can tell me quickly." Richard nodded,

Lily looked behind her at Jenna who was on the sofa laughing with Matt and the others "alright, 10 minutes." She said.

"Come on." He guided them to the toilet where they went in and sat in the bath opposite each other.

"Well what do you want to know..." Lily asked,

"Everything, uh how exactly did you find her?" Richard asked.

"Well she was laying bed and it looked like she was asleep. When I went in there to tell her my legs were fine and I noticed something was wrong because she wasn't waking up to talk to me."

"So I Uh shook her and she was awake but she was just really drowsy and out of it. So the first thing I said was "What have you taken?" Because she looked liked she was on drugs... she started to moan and tell me to leave but uh I knew something was up." Lily continued.

"That's when I noticed one of her arms was basically soaking the bed in blood. And I knew that this was serious. I freaked out for a second before trying to hold a towel around her arm to stop the bleeding. Then whilst I called the ambulance I searched for what she might have taken and in that few minutes I found her antidepressants pot empty and her painkillers from years ago on her bedside empty." Lily kept going.

"Then she said something that will forever be engrained into my memory. She kept trying to push me away but she failed, she had her eyes half shut and loosing loads of blood and she kept saying "Don't worry. It'll be over soon." And that's when I just really knew this was an attempt to kill herself."

"God I'm sorry Lily." Richard said.

"She uh basically passed out but was still listening to what I was saying and uh paramedics took her away." Lily nodded. "Anything else you want to know?"

"Well uh that was mainly what I wanted to hear but uh.. are you ok?" He asked.

"Yeah, I've been too busy to think about it all to be honest. I'm glad she's ok and I know about it now." Lily smiled.

"Yeah I wish I Knew how serious it was," Richard sighed.