My Deepest Thoughts

TAKE A HINT

I find it hard to believe that anyone would really love me
Because I am so broken an damaged
It's hard to really find any worth in me
How can you even love me when you don't know me?
And I will show you who I am
But you are probably too scared to find out

Lately I have been really scared of love
Everybody have something different to say about it
I have never experienced a broken heart
But I dreamt about it
It's sad that a nonexistent thing will scare me
It is really sad how much I have broken my heart
Before even giving it a chance
It's sad how much hurt I am experiencing from the thoughts in my head.

But I am trying,
I am trying to clear the thoughts
I am trying to give chances
I am trying to love
I am trying to be open
I am trying to trust
But it hurts me even more to try.

I am sorry if I make your efforts seen effortless
I am sorry if I seen distant
But the truth is the problem is not you.
I just can't bring myself to trust another living being
I am sorry, but I am also not sorry

You should have learnt to take a hint
I hate you even more when you try
I have built a big security around myself
That even I cannot control.
So I am sorry if you were expecting something
But you will have to leave with nothing

I hope you can take this hint
Because I cannot tell you to your face.