My Deepest Thoughts

I AM SORRY

To my mind
I'm sorry
I'm sorry I have let them win
I am sorry I let you go
I'm sorry I let them take over you
I'm sorry you've never experienced happiness
I'm sorry no bright idea ever come your way
I'm sorry all your thoughts are so gloomy
I'm sorry you've never experienced light
I'm sorry.

To my neck I'm sorry
I'm sorry for all the pain
I'm sorry I try to use you as a way to death
I'm sorry for not feeding you
I'm sorry for stressing you
I'm sorry for strangling you
I'm sorry for putting a rope around you
I'm sorry.

To my arms,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry for always cutting you
I'm sorry for stabbing you
I'm sorry for all the bruises
I'm sorry for all the drawing in you
I'm sorry all you've experienced in pain
I'm sorry you are numb to love
I'm sorry for all the tears that landed on you
I'm sorry for kissing you after I cause you pain
I'm sorry for making you bleed
I'm sorry.

To my stomach
I'm sorry
I'm sorry you had to keep staving
I'm sorry for comparing you to the other stomachs
I'm sorry I just wanted you to be like theirs
I'm sorry I just wanted you to be flat
I'm sorry I'm just never satisfied with you
I'm sorry.

To my thighs,
I'm sorry
I'm sorry you experienced the most pain
But nobody noticed
I'm sorry I forced you to hide your pain
I'm sorry for all the scars I left covered
Because nobody look at you,
I use you as a canvas,
And I just draw all my pain on you
I'm sorry you look so ugly to me
I'm sorry you will never see the light
Because you are starting to look scary
I'm sorry.

To my legs
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry my mind just keeps taking you every where,
But no where
I'm sorry, I know you are tired
But you cannot rest
I'm sorry.

To my heart,
I'm sorry
I'm sorry because I didn't have to give you put
I'm sorry I didn't learn from my mistakes
I'm sorry you are not even broken anymore,
You are shattered
You are crumbled up and turned to dust
There is no more chance in you
I'm sorry

To myself I'm sorry
I'm sorry you never see the good in you
I'm sorry you can never look in the mirror and think you are beautiful
I'm sorry you feel trapped in your own body
I'm sorry all you feel is pain
I'm sorry you will never be good enough
I'm sorry life is stressing you out
I'm sorry.

To my future I'm sorry
I'm sorry because you probably won't exist
I'm sorry because if you survive,
There is probably no good in it
To my present, I'm sorry
I'm sorry because I hate you
I'm sorry because you're miserable
I'm sorry because I'm trying to end you
To my past, I'm sorry
I'm sorry I thought you were the worst
I'm sorry you had such high hopes for me
I'm sorry you were the best I've got.