Nasty Grind

65

Kiara

I found myself sitting in the visitation room waiting on my mother to come out. The doors opened, and my mother, the monster, came out with her hands cuffed behind her back, in an orange jumpsuit. Her grey hair all over the place, but once she saw me, she smiled. Mama set down in front of me, and picked up the phone to talk. I hesitated at first, and could feel my heart thumping against my chest. She was the last person I ever wanted to see.

I picked up the phone, waiting on her to speak. "Good morning baby." She said.

I was glad that their was a thick glass between the two of us, otherwise I would have choked her ass. "What did you need to speak to me about?"

She sighed, turning her head away from me. "I wanted to apologize to you."

"Okay?"

"Kiara, if I could go back to the past, and take you and Tonya away from him I would."

"Why didn't you!" I yelled causing the two correctional officers to look our way.

"I couldn't. I was sick, and he would have found us. I'm sorry it took all those years for me to pull that trigger. But once I seen Ella, I couldn't let what he did to you girls be the same fate for Ella. You're a damn good mother, and I seen how you would go to the ends of the Earth for her. I just wished that I could've done the same for you." She cried.

I started to tear up. She admitted her mistakes, but what was her motive? "Why now? Why did it take all those tears for you to protect us?"

"He would've killed me. I had no protection of my own. Kiara, I know it's hard for you to understand, but we left for Jamaica to protect you. I knew that if he was to go to court for molesting you, it wouldn't hold up. So I fled, and your father followed like I knew that he would." She explained.

"I don't know what to say."

"Say that you'll forgive me. Say that once I'm released from here that I'll have a chance to be a mother to you."

I couldn't hold back my tears. Lately I've been very emotional, and I didn't understand why. I had always been tough, a fighter even. But being a mother I became soft, and meeting Eric, my heart was mending. "I don't know about that."

"I have three years behind these bars, and all I ask is that you think about it. Kiara, I've seen how you have matured, and I want to be able to give you that motherly love that you need."

"I got that from Ms. Cheryl. All my life she's taken good care of me." I rolled my eyes at her.

She smiled at me, "and I'm glad that she was their for you, when I couldn't be. I really appreciate that. But I'm here now, begging my daughter for a chance to mend the fences between us. I do love you Kiara, you and Tonya are all I could ever think about."

I sighed, because I didn't know if I could trust this woman. I had Ella to think about, and I didn't want her to know all the horror that I had gone through. "We will see how everything plays out. But if you ever hurt my child, I will kill you or anyone for that matter!"

The correctional officer cleared his throat, and looked at me with a Stern look on his face. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Do you understand me?"

My mother nodded and smiled, "you have my word, I would never hurt that precious baby."

"Good, now I have to go. I have to plan my wedding."

"Wait, Kiara. Could you send me pictures of the wedding?" She asked me. "I know that's asking to much, but I'm proud of you."

I finally smiled at her. "I'll see what I can do. Goodbye." I hung up the phone, and left the prison feeling great about the conversation I had with my mother. I had lots to think about, but I had a couple years to figure out if I wanted that woman in me and my child's life.