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"i told finn."

"that i know?" ayla whispers, a smile displayed so bright to her lips.

"i couldnt keep it from him. itd be wrong."

the two girls talk quietly amongst each other in the corner of malcolms garage.

while violet was away, malcolm had decided to be the first to buy a house the size that matched his paycheck. violet hadnt seen her around, but she had assumed that maddie moved in with him.

although instead of filling his second garage bay with a fancy car, he put in a snug practice room for the band. it made violet feel warm, like they were kids again.

"was he mad?"

violet looks to the other side of the room where malcolm and finn were drinking a beer, jack messing around on finns guitar as if he knew what he were doing.
"he didn't seem to mind."

"are you going to tell the others tonight?"

violet flinches, she wasnt going to tell ayla about the abortion; it seemed too far into a personal topic. so she lies instead.
"i think we're going to tell his parents first, after the appointment tomorrow."

"you find out the gender tomorrow?!"

"you really know nothing about being pregnant, do you-" violet stops her gentle laughter as finn approaches them.

"hey vi." he rests his hand to her shoulder.
"jack wants you to show him the riff from cell; he still thinks its a lie that you made it up."

"yeah okay" she smiles to the two, leaving as she hears ayla start up about parenthood.

her heart was sore for him, for surely it was devastating to want something you cant have; and then talk about it.

finn and violet were trying their best to act normal between each other in front of their friends. but for the past few days, things have been off for them.

violet was out of work until she felt like going back, for she only took half of her six months in california. and finn was constantly at work trying to keep busy.

they weren't mad at each other, just distant and never around one another it seemed. so that night, respectfully was the first night that they had to put on a show of happiness.

"violet! i don't believe it, i've seen you pick up a guitar before; it was not pretty." jack holds up the electric guitar from the couch.

she takes it, wrapping the strap around her and sitting in between malcolm and jack.
"well i live with finn, so."

in the background, finn hears the shredding of violet on his guitar, and ayla speaking to him. he tries to focus, but a film of fuzz covers all sounds and his thoughts overpower everything.

"finn!"

"huh" he snaps out of it, staring down to ayla.

"tell me about it!"

"about what?"

"you know what!" she nudges at his stomach.

he stands, hands on the base of his hips as he looks down to her hand that continuously hits his stomach gently.
"you know im not the one thats pregnant right?"

she jumps in excitement, squealing quietly as she throws her arms over his shoulder; pulling him into a tight hug.
"im just so happy for you guys. you really love her and i can tell that baby will be so loved."

he swallows a lump in his throat. he felt like crying, felt like falling to his knees and absolutely sobbing. but he couldn't, he could only hold onto her tighter and take a deep breath to settle his emotions.
"thanks ayla."

"why dont you seem happy?" she pulls away, holding onto his shoulders as she frowns.

"i just don't want to seem off to the others." he lies.

"gotcha." ayla winks, nudging him with her elbow.
"you'll let me name it right?"

he laughs, wiping his eyes, pulling it off as it just him being tired.
"yeah."

"no way violet thats so sick!" jack jumps up from the couch, excited over her talent.

she shrugs, propping the guitar to the wall close to her.

within conversation with malcolm, she hardly realizes that finn takes a seat next to her. arm rested around her shoulders and ayla takes a seat on the table across from them.

a silly argument erupts between the band members. and as they we're all lightly intoxicated except for her, violet gets a bit overwhelmed and decides to look around the small practice area set up for them.

she travels around unnoticed, picking up small equipment and knickknacks around. she continues to walk, eventually her eye lands on a large world map pinned to the wall, white stars stuck all over it; places on land that seemed so random to the girl.

she inspects it for what felt like minutes, the arguing still happening in the background. and within a moment, she feels a presence next to her.

she looks over to jack as he stares at the map as well, drinking a beer in his hand.
"bizarre, isn't it?"

"whats with all the stars?"

"its this dumb thing malcolm likes to do, he puts a star on every place we've performed. likes to reflect back on it or some stupid shit like that. we all like to make fun of him for it."

violet thinks it over within a second. her heart sinks down to her throat, her insides began to hurt and suddenly everything made sense.

quickly, she excuses herself to the bathroom. rushing inside and through the empty large house before she makes it to the bathroom.

the door slams shut and her back falls down it. head in her knees she cries so hard that it seemed everyone surely could hear it despite being on the other side of the house.

it was a wave of guilt, and she had never felt so bad in herself.

she should have known better, she should have pieced it together sooner and understood that all along finn meant what he spoke.

the stars in his painting were the places hes been, his job, his career and his fame. every part of his life fell into the category of being a star, except for one.

the planet.

violet cage.

no star ever touched the planet because they never held the hierarchy of it, the importance in that small speck of his life was significantly greater. so much in fact, that despite having a chaotic, dream life; nothing could reach the value of that planet.

she was his entire world in a speck, and still, she had the nerve to tear away a together happiness, for her individual happiness.

so she cries, she cries for so long.

such a hard pain stabbing to her heart as she couldn't control it any more.

violet couldnt grasp onto the fact that she had turned into what finn was years ago that made her run away in the first place.

she was selfish.

1155 wc

~ a picture of the painting (or what its based off, rather) is in "mood board and locations chapter!"
~HEAR ME OUT; a live version remake of monster house, finn wolfhard as DJ- IM JUST SAYING

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