Chapter Eighty-Five

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Katniss POV-

Sometimes, I don't cry because I am afraid of coming up weak.

Sometimes, you have to cry because you have been strong so long that you can't hold it in any longer.

I think that is what Peeta and I experienced tonight.

I cried every day and night and up until the day of her funeral when all of my friends, Prim's as well, some teachers, Peeta's dad, Peeta, Mom and I came to say our goodbyes.

After Peeta and I left, I just couldn't do anything but stare out the car window as he drove me home.

We went home that night and I refused to talk to him and he just let me.

The third day, he started to try and coax me out of the depression that I was plummeting into but he failed.

Actually, I failed Peeta and Prim.

I've been this way for a month now and
Peeta has told me a billion times before and I finally realized how right he was.

When something bad happens, you have to look on the bright side, no matter how tragic the loss.

Anything and everything happening to you, good or bad, is for a reason.

These things happening in your life are helping you out in some way and you just don't see it but someday you will.

"Will you please come to bed tonight?" Peeta asks me softly.

I look up.

"I hate sleeping without you and especially when you're in here all by yourself."

I take a deep breath.

"I understand if you don't want to or if you want to be alone. I just want to protect you and comfort you from those nightmares but you won't let me. I should've insisted this whole time and I'm sorry that I didn't. Even if I can't keep them away." Peeta explains in a steady, sad voice.

The truth is, I have wanted so badly to sleep next to him again and for him to hold me and tell me that everything will be okay.

And he hasn't done as bad as he thinks.

Even when I have woken from these terrifying nightmares, he has been by my side in a matter of seconds but I force him back to bed.

But I understand what he means, it's just not the same.

"Yes. I'll come with you." I say softly.

He gives me a sad smile as I get off of him and carefully help him to his feet.

We slowly walk hand in hand into our bedroom and I get on my cold side of the bed.

It feels strange.

I haven't been here in forever it seems.

The last time that I laid in this bed, everything was perfect and went into shambles in seconds.

Peeta gets on his side and we hold each other tightly, for the first time in a month.

I have missed this closeness and his company.

I thought that I didn't want him to be with me, even though I craved his touch, I was forcing myself to think that I didn't need him.

But I was wrong.

He's my only hope.

I missed his warmth, comforting arms and his scent.

The familiar scent of cinnamon and dill, even when he hadn't been baking.

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