Dave I had woken up before Amour because I knew I had to finish sending off some shit for the club. As I was down stairs I heard Kaelani crying in her bed. I took her bottle out the fridge and set it in the bottle warmers. I walked in her room and instantly smelled something.
"Please tell me—" I walked up to the crib and seen shit just all up Kaelanis back. I ran my hand down my face throwing my head back. "Why you do this to daddy? I thought we was better than this mama" I told her picking her up and snatching her sheets off. "We definitely throwing these in the trash" I said putting them in a trash bag.
I walked in the kitchen taking her milk out the steamer. I went in the bathroom and took all her clothes and dumping them in the same trash bag. "Kae this a lot of shit, that ain't right" I said wiping most of it off and then putting her in her baby tub. I washed her hair and bathed her real good before I put her clothes on and lotion her down.
"See look we didn't even have to wake mommy up" I said grabbing her bottle and heading back to the stairs.I propped her up on a pillow before giving her, her bottle. She was so beautiful I did the damn thang wit Kaelani. I mean Amour too be ima have to take the credit for her.
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I heard the door crack open and it was Kairi walking in with her blanket and IPad. "Good morning nugget" I said picking her up and putting her on the other side of me. "Dada bad dream" she said wiping her eyes. "You had bad dream Kairi?" I asked running my hands through her messy hair last she nodded. "Awww come on you gone lay wit daddy?" I asked. She nodded her head again laying across my chest. I picked Kaelani up patting her back so she'll burp.
Amour rolled over and slowly opened her eyes seeing us. "Good morning pooh" I said laying Kaelani down moving closer to her. "Good morning baby" she said giving me a kiss. "When did they get in here? And why is her hair wet?" She said picking up Kaelani. Kairi had a bad dream and your daughter over here shitted everywhere in that damn crib, so I had to bathe her" I said looking at her. "Ouuuu" Amour said laughing.
"Good morning Kairi" amour said looking over me at Kairi. She didn't say anything she just looked at her iPad. "Oop okay then" she said leaving her alone. "Y'all attitudes in the morning drive me crazy" she said putting the baby back down. She got up and to do her hygiene stuff in the bathroom. "Pooh what time your appointment?!" I asked.
"In an hour, why" she said brushing her teeth. "Nothing ima drop the kids off at my moms I got stuff to handle wit Dez for the club and was wondering if you could pick them up" I said walking in the bathroom. Her therapy sessions had finally started today. "Yeah that's fine" she said wiping her mouth.
I turned her around putting my hands on her waist. "How you feelin? Everything ok?" I asked looking at her. "Yeahhh I'm just ready to see what advice she can give me you know. I feel like I've been carrying shit for so long and I'm just ready to let it go" she said playing with her hands. "I'm proud of you for even taking this step Amour. You have my support every step of the way and if one day you want me to go with you I will. I'll clear my schedule or whatever you need me to do okay?" I said holding her hands.
"Thank you, I love you" she said wrapping her arms around my back. "I love you more pooh" I said kissing her head. I let her go so she could finish getting ready while I got the kids and myself ready. Amour walked out the closet with her clothes on and some stuff for Kairis hair. I was good but not that good, I left the hair shit to her.
We walked out to the garage, Amour had a sleeping Kaelani and I had Kairi and the diaper bag. We put the girls in my truck and Amour kissed them goodbye. "Alright be careful baby" she said kissing me. I opened her door "you too and text me" I said giving her one last kiss.
Amour I had finally made it to my session and I was actually a little nervous. "So Amour tell me what brings you here" Mrs. Angels said opening her note book. "Ok so after my baby I dealt with a lot of body changes of course but I took them so negative I thought my boyfriend wasn't attracted to me anymore" I told her. "Ok but let's start from earlier ages. Have you ever felt low or like you weren't good enough" she asked crossing her legs.
"Um yeah when I was a child I was raped by my moms brother— and um my mother knew about it and she did nothing." I said tearing up. "How'd that make you feel?" She asked. "Like my life didn't matter... like I wasn't important enough for her to save me"I said looking down. "Mmmm ok I wanna try something. I want you to go back to that stage in your life and tell me what you wanted to say to your mother as a little girl" she said.
I closed my eyes and went back to that dark place that I thought I was out of. "Mommy I need you, I need you to help me.. You see him don't you? Why aren't you doing anything, he's hurting me, he took something from me that I'll never get back and your letting him. Do you not love me? I'm not worth enough to you?" I said crying.
"Amour are you angry with your mom?" She said. I shook my head no "not anymore we talked about everything and have decided to move on. We're actually closer than we've ever been" I said slightly smiling. "That's wonderful" she said smiling at me. "Now as you got older did anything else traumatic happen?" She asked.
"Yeahh one night I was going out with my best friend and a guy snatched me up and raped me but that's when I met my boyfriend. He practically saved my life... he's always saving me." I said think about Dave. "Do you think that has affected your relationship anyway?" She asked. "Maybe I don't know. I think he's more fragile with me because he's seen me at my lowest but I don't want him to look at me like I'm damaged or I always need help." "But Amour maybe he doesn't...man are natural born protectors. Like you said he's seen you at your lowest so he doesn't want you to get back to the place on his watch. If he can prevent it than that's what he's going to do." She said.
Talking about me and Dave's relationship just made me think about how I take him for granted. I love that man with my heart. "You're right Dave is my support system without him I'm not myself. That man is such a MAN" I told her making her smile. "Sounds like you've got a good one so don't push him away, somethings wrong simply just talk to him. Communication is everything" she said. Our time was up but she made me think about a lot. I had to show Dave how much I appreciated him and with his birthday coming up I knew exactly how.
