The Queen in the North: Game of thrones fanfiction

Chapter Thirty-Six

A/N
(Sorry for the shit and short chapter, I've been super super busy with school and haven't been able to write more! I will be writing loads more in the Christmas holidays which are only two weeks away, and I have also entered the #watty2014 awards and I really really want 40k so please keep voting and leaving your lovely comments. ILYSM 💕 - Sophie )

Chapter Thirty-Six

Elonar Stark

What am I doing? Elonar Stark asked herself, it was all a mess, everything and everyone. Everything's as so messed up that Elonar, just simply no longer cared, well what was there to worry about? Gods, she thought as she let Axel Umber untie the fastenings of her dress, as much as she wanted to push him away, there was something about his kiss that made her stay, Elonar ripped at his trousers and pushed him back so he was sitting on the end of the bed, El positioned herself on top of him, Axel pushed her skirts up and he entered her, she inhaled shakily, "you've no idea how long I wanted to do this" he moaned into her chest, he grasped her breasts in both his hands, and El pulling into him, pulled at his hair, she opened her eyes to look down at his face, she noticed the tiny freckles on his nose and kissed them lightly. He was an attractive man really, El ran her fingers through his thick blonde hair, he had beautiful hands, long but string fingers , and the veins on his forearms stuck out a little, she noticed his freckles all over his torso, he was so differnet from..

El paused in her mind for a moment, she closed her eye and all she saw was Garlan, she saw that face he'd make, when He first entered her the creases in his forehead when his eyes would squeeze shut in pleasure. Then he'd open his eyes and they'd be a golden lustful glow, his lips so feverishly desperate for hers,his hands always knew what they were doing, he'd always know where to touch her, those spots of her neck, where he'd kiss so lightly it would sent cascading spirals of pleasure along her skin, he knew when she was ready for him to go faster, although they both liked it slower. He just knew everything there was to know about her.

Axel was not Garlan. That was evident. As hard as she tried to make Axel, Garlan he could never be him. After, Axel kissed her neck lightly but she just stared at the Celling, trying to empty her mind of everything. "What have we done?" She asked, after some time of awkward silence.

Axel Umber sighed "so you regret it?"

"I never said that" El answered coldly, avoiding Axels glance.

"But that's what you meant" Axel rolled his eyes, and sat up, picked up his trousers from the floor and began to dress, he ruffled his hair and smirked a little "you know El, you can't freeze everyone out forever." Axel sounded a little hurt. "I'll never be him Elonar, no will ever be him in your eyes, and don't say this isn't about Garlan because I know it is" he pulled his shirt over his head, messing up his hair "I don't regret that, and I don't think I ever will" Elonar still avoided contact with his eyes. "At this rate, you'll have no one left" he almost laughed. Then he turned and left the tent,and El was left alone in the growing morning light.

"what am I doing?" Elonar stark asked herself, aloud, She had asked herself those four words many times before, and every time she uttered those words she's would usually have a solution, but now now could she. Everything was a mess, everything lay broken on the floor.

They were loosing the war, she'd lost Garlan, and her entire family. All she had left was her three children she had no idea how to raise, a kingdom in pieces, everyone other house minutes the Tyrells hated her, or wanted her dead. And now, even Axel hated her. "Gods" she cursed. Elonar sat up, and pushed her hair back from her face, she got up and got dressed. She had to do something, something to fix all this shit. Elonar left the tent and headed for the command tent, where Lord Manderly, Glover and Axel were already waiting, "morning" El said, still avoiding Axel's eyes.

"Milady" Lord Manderly started, "we received a raven this morning"

"From whom?" She questioned, only vaguely interestedly.

"Willas Tyrell" Lord manderly said

"And.." El said growing impatient "gods spit it out"

"He,and the Tyrell army are returning to Highgarden, following the recent death of Tywin Lannister. Ser Willas, also has requested your presents in Highgarden"

"So.." Elonar was confused.

"Basically, the war is over" Axel said. "If there is no one leading the Lannisters then surely we have no war"

"We won?" The greatjon asked.

"Not nessassarily" El said quietly.

"Milady, what do we do?" Lord Glover asked.

"I think, we go to highgarden. But not all of us, our men have families they haven't seen in months, so only a few of us will go, but I want my children to accompany me so, lord Glover, will you kindly escort my children back here to me, along with Alysane Mormont, then you and your men many return home. Along with Lord mannerly and all the rest aside from house umber, I want all of you with me." El said.

A solution, there was always a solution, Elonar thought many times on there journey down to Highgarden. It would feel strange, being there. Elonar thought about how it would stink of him. Lyara kidding her legs against her seat aimlessly, Rickard was asleep with his tiny head on her lap, and her son Garlan, she held him close to her chest. It was back the way it used to be, Elonar on her own, fighting for herself and having to fend for herself. When she with Garlan it was never like that, but he's gone, she kept telling herself over and over again.