Redemption |complete| (SasuSaku)

What does it look like?

Wednesday, 25th of October.

"So we're heading back on mission, are we?"

"I am, but you can stay here if you want to. Your choice."

"I want to come."

"Did you pack everything?"

"I just have to go somewhere to get my clothes."

"Somewhere?"

"Yes." she winked at him. "Prepare your t-shirt for me!" she waved as she walked out of his apartment. He was left behind with his question stuck in his throat.

He shrugged his shoulders and packed the t-shirt Sakura wanted. He had no idea how to take care of a pregnant woman and he didn't know if her coming on this mission was a good idea. He just assumed that she would know what's right or wrong for her, she was a doctor after all, but at the end it was her first pregnancy as well.  He considered going to talk to Tsunade but he was too ashamed to do so. He decided to simply wait for her to get back to his apartment.

He was nervously watching the clock. He kept asking himself if her coming on mission with him was a good idea, but then he kept remembering Black Zetsu. If Kotaka had been able to capture Hinata what else could he do? He had to protect Sakura the best he could. Were the dimensions safe? He knew that there was no way he was going back to the lava one with her but he could bring her to the mountains one. That one was safe enough, no hot weather, no lava, no ice, nothing that could hurt her other than mountains. Besides, it was Kaguya's meeting point. That was where she could recharge her chakra so the energy there was great.

On the other hand, was he not better off doing the hard things first while she was still able to move properly? One day, soon enough, she will be incapacitated by the baby inside of her. He was feeling extremely nervous about it all. It was very overwhelming... not in a bad way. It was just making him anxious and since Tsunade had told him about it, he had a ball in his stomach. He was mostly worried about her. She seemed to be very self destructive which could be a problem. Was the baby going to be fine? The baby... no, his future child had to deal with a lot of stress, will it create something? Will it make him or her sick?

Internally he was hoping for a little boy because he would know what to do with him. He would be able to take care of him like his big brother took care of him but if it was a girl... he will feel even more lost than he already is. Girls were a mystery to him, especially young girls. Yukata for exemple, every time she was talking to him he was froze not knowing what to say or do. What if it will be the same with his daughter? Even Sakura was a mystery and she was his wife!

By a mystery, he meant that half of the time he was guessing what he needed to say or do. He was guessing right but he was still very clumsy around her and it was annoying him. He had never felt this vulnerable around anyone other than his brother and Naruto. Everyday she was pushing him to be even more vulnerable and it was scaring him. He loved her. He wasn't scared of admitting it to himself anymore. He loved her and that was what was scary about it.

His first known enemy automatically knew that attacking Sakura was how to get through to him. Anything related to Sakura was affecting him, she was his weakness and from now on he only had two solutions. He was either going to have to show less affection for her in public or he was going to need to be more vigilant. He definitely didn't have the option to fight everyone because of his chakra issue so even if he wanted to fighting was not a option. Speaking of this, his issue with his chakra was starting to seriously bother him.

He had never felt more stupid than when he got defeated by this small experiment gone wrong. The Sasuke he was would've won, but the Sasuke he was now was getting defeated so easily. He even considered getting that arm that Tsunade had saved for him but he didn't want to go back to using the arm that destroyed the people that he loved. It was his punishment, a constant reminder of what he had done his whole life. He didn't care what Sakura was saying about him deserving happiness or whatever. He accepted the happiness she wanted to give him but that was it. No other. He still felt like he needed to be punished for what he had done.