Hidden Omega

Am I too good to give to anyone else?

The next month went almost without anything happening, the negative voices were getting worse, but he could handle them. He would handle them, he would not be a burden anymore. He still used the spray almost every day before bed the pain somehow lessening until the only negative part of it being that he sometimes had a hard time feeling anything on the area he used to spray on directly, but it was a very small price to pay for his pack not running away from him each time they smelled him.

He had even managed a full conversation with Jungkook that wasn't about work, which marked the first time that had happened since Jungkook's presentation. Namjoon had also found a perfect way of getting out of meals. Normally Seokjin would be cooking for them early, fitting in all of their diets, making sure they all were eating right. Even after he got kicked out of the nest, Seokjin had still done it even for him, but now if Namjoon leaves for the studio before Seokjin got up, the older didn't try to hunt him down with food; assuming that Namjoon had gotten food himself.

His weight was finally starting to drop, and each time he weighed himself, he couldn't stop from smiling, seeing the numbers slowly going lower and lower. He would end up being as pretty as the rest of them. Overall it was all going very well for Namjoon he thought if he just lost a little more weight if he just worked a little bit harder they wouldn't kick him out.

They were working on their new album which meant that Namjoon spent almost all of his time in the studio writing, mixing, and producing with either Yoongi, Slow rabbit, or whoever ended up being there. Yoongi had started spending less and less time in the same studio as Namjoon, but it was okay because things were getting better he knew it! Now Yoongi would sometimes pat him on the head, Namjoon lived for those small moments of contact between them, this was a sign that Yoongi cared right?

Namjoon wasn't sure how long time he had been sitting working over the track he was working on. Since they had gotten the clear to all have their own tracks on the albums, he knew that he wanted his track to be something special, but it came out way too depressing each time! He wasn't depressed, why couldn't he write anything even mildly happy? Out of frustration he threw the notebook he had been working on at the door, which cause nothing ever went Namjoon's way, opened and instead of a solid door he hit none other than Bang PD-nim himself right in the face.

The CEO looked more confused than anything. "I can come again later if this is a bad time?"

Namjoon flushed red, "I'm sorry!" He quickly exclaimed, getting up to get the book now laying on the ground, "I'm just struggling with some lyrics, and I got mad."

Bang PD just smiled lightly at the flushed rapper, he always had a soft spot for Namjoon, the slightly clumsy guy was one of the main reason BTS even came to exist "Can I see? Maybe I can help?"

The younger shook his head in an almost desperate manner "It's not very good, really not worth looking at!"

"I have a hard time believing anything you write can be that bad, let's see if we can save it?" He knew that Namjoon was always too hard on himself, especially when the older he became, the more insecure he grew in his own skills.

Namjoon couldn't really deny Bang PD anything, he owed his entire career to him, so he just handed the man his notebook with slightly shaking hands. "It's on the last page, it can't really be saved sorry."

He couldn't really stand the idea that he had or would disappoint the man who had put so much trust in him. As silenced stretched between them, Namjoon became more and more worried as Bang PD read over the finished song not once but twice, "Namjoon this is..."

He never really got to finish the sentence before Namjoon interrupted "I know, I don't know why I can't write anything less depressing, nobody how many times I write this it just becomes so... sad."