Hidden Omega

Today, I think, why am I the only one who's suffering like this?

"Namjoon?" Namjoon hadn't realised just how much he was zoning out until Jimin pushed the bottle towards him "you okay?" the two omegas were sitting outside, staring at the sun that was setting in the distance.

"Yes, of course, I am, why wouldn't I be?" Namjoon wasn't sure if he was lying, to be honest, since their talk, since Yoongi had told them everything he felt weird. There was a knot in his stomach that refused to loosen, it had tied itself up when the door closed behind Jungkook, and Namjoon didn't know how to loosen it, how to fix it. How to fix anything!

"Jungkook is gonna be okay." Jimin was leaning his head on Namjoon's shoulder, intertwining their gloved hands "he just needs a little time to think it all over, Hoseok is gonna have him see sense."

Namjoon was conflicted, part of him didn't understand why Jungkook was acting the way he was, why he couldn't just forgive Yoongi, but part of him also knew that it wasn't fair to expect the younger to just do it, "I hope so, I want everybody to be happy."

"We know." Jimin looked at their hands, seemingly unable to look Namjoon in the eyes "I... I wanted to say I am sorry."

"Minnie, this is not your fault."

"Not about Jungkook, I doubted your ability to be a good leader and omega at the same time, I am not even sure if I told you that I doubted you, but I did. I was angry with you when I knew you talked to Exo about me, I thought it wasn't your job, that you were stepping out of line for being an omega."

"Jimin..."

"No, I have to say this, what I thought weren't right. I had decided for myself what an omega was, and I was pushing that onto you as well." Jimin was shaking, and Namjoon wrapped an arm around the smaller alpha in a sidewards hug "you are a good leader, you have always been a good leader for us. You looked out for me, not cause you had to, but because you wanted to." he wasn't crying, he wasn't even looking sad, he had a little smile on his lips "you have always looked out for me, and I guess... my inner omega always knew what you really were. When it became too much, after Luhan was gone, when I was so alone in being an omega, you could always make me calm down. That should have been the sign, shouldn't it? But I kept pushing you away, cause it wasn't right, I was meant to be a good omega, cause if I were a good omega Yoongi wouldn't keep pulling away, he would come back to us, to how he used to be.
I... I still don't how I ended up like that. It wasn't like me, it wasn't how I was raised, but somehow... I just wanted things to go back to normal. Yoongi seemed... better... happier, when I acted as a traditional omega. I wanted us to be happy, I wanted everybody to be happy. So I became somebody I didn't know who was anymore, and I pushed that on you.
Namjoon... Joonie... I never want you to feel the way I did, the way I made myself feel, I don't know how it ended up like that. I was gonna let myself go through heat alone, the only reason that I didn't was cause Baekhyun is an omega and Yixing a beta. All-cause I was too afraid of Yoongi being angry with me, of him getting worse. It took me so long to realise that it wasn't who I was, who I wanted to be, Jungkook's words at the hospital, how they made me feel was the first step in making me realise it.
I don't want to be that man anymore, I want to be proud of being an omega, cause I am not capable despite being an omega, I am capable because I am an omega. I want you... to know that I trust you and love you for who you are, and I will never disrespect you like that again."

"Jimin... I-" Namjoon stopped himself as he stared at the younger omega, trying to take in what had just been said. "How did you get so smart?" he wasn't sure how to feel, but he did feel relieved. He hadn't even realised himself that he was afraid of Jimin's judgment, that he was afraid of not being enough of an omega.

He felt free from a burden he didn't know he was carrying, and Namjoon could stop himself from laughing, surprising Jimin who stared at him confused "Namjoon?"