Hidden Omega

You're changing, you're drowning, there's no escape I got you - Under my skin

When Seokjin had been just a wee lad, the idea of a pack bond, the idea of a specific group of people that would be his to love, a group of people he would know were perfect for him cause his inner whatever subgender he would end up as, had helped him choose, had brought stars to his eyes.

He was a romantic by heart, he loved the idea of being in love, where the rest of BTS grew up with big dreams of becoming something bigger, he like Taehyung, had been happy with just settling for a normal life. Maybe that was one of the things that had signalled they were betas. What they both wanted, more than anything else in the world, was to love and be loved.

What little Seokjin hadn't realised was that love wasn't easy, well at least not easy in the way that he had thought as a child. Adult Seokjin ran a finger over the choker that he shared with Jungkook, thinking smile on his face as he ran his free hand through Yoongi's hair, the younger alpha had finally found some restless sleep.

Tracing Yoongi's delicate features with a pinky, he couldn't help but stop for a few seconds at the deep bags under the youngers eyes. In sleep, the alpha looked so much younger. Since their talk, actually no, since they had come to Japan, wait not even that, since Jungkook presented, and everything went to hell, Yoongi had looked much older than he really was. They had been through so much, that at times it was hard to realise that both he and the petite alpha were just 23.

Before Japan, before the hospital and Namjoon, Seokjin had seen them as adults, that they had everything under control, but talking with TVXQ, suddenly not being the oldest anymore had put so many things into perspective for him, cause they really weren't that old. They were all so young, and he was starting to think that maybe they really had no fucking clue what they were doing.

He still wished that one day they would reach the TVXQ state of their life if you saw it on the surface, they had gone through just as much suffering and pain as BTS had, that had to mean that they had a chance, that in the end, they could get their happy end just as TVXQ had gotten theirs. At that moment, Seokjin couldn't help but wish that he was back in the safeness of the much older idols dorms, he wasn't expected to solve everything there, he was expected to wake up in the morning, walk Sunja and if he was in the mood for it, give out some morning kisses after having brushed his teeth. Nobody expected him to fix them, nobody expected him to keep their secrets, nobody expected him to lie without lying. He rubbed his choker again, looking down at the sleeping Yoongi with a sad glint in his eyes "oh, how we did we get to this?"

Seokjin loved BTS, he knew he did, he always had, but he hadn't realised or expected just how much work it would take to love them. Looking down at the man who was sleeping, Seokjin felt once again taken aback, by just how sweet and soft he looked. Of course, Yoongi would not have liked to be told he looked cute and adorable, but it didn't change the fact that Seokjin thought he did.

He tried his best not to think too much about the past, about what could have happened, cause he knew that it was too late for them to change the past. They had made their bed, and now it was time to lay in it, they were slowly changing the pillows and the bedding, fixing some of the problems, but it was still their choices that had let them there.

Was there times where he wished he had an option to run back to TVXQ, hug Sunja and feel safe in the older men, where nobody looked at him to have the answers, to know how to fix them, yeah, god he wanted it so many times. Saying goodbye in the airport, was one of the hardest things he had ever done, which was insane, cause it wasn't even goodbye!

He hadn't even been able to keep in his tears, but Jaejoong had dabbed them all away with a soft smile, before resting their foreheads together "not goodbye but see you later, we will all be very disappointed in you, can you imagine how sad Sunja would be if her daddy didn't come back to her?"