Hidden Omega

I'm ok with losing everything I have I'll meet you, even if it's in a dream

Wrapping his arms around Jungkook, Namjoon's head was spinning equally as much as it seemed the baby alphas were. It should have come as a surprise, it really should have. Jungkook, more or less, just confessed that he wasn't sure who he really loved but in the end. It wasn't a surprise.

"It's okay, you can cry it out, we can figure this out together, don't worry love. I would never tell anybody without your consent." a part of Namjoon's brain was hurting, he was starting to carry too many secrets with him. Secrets of his own, secrets he carried for other people, secrets he didn't mean to know.

Sometimes it was hard to keep it clear in his mind, but he would never betray any of the friends he knew had so much trust and love for him. Jungkook spoke no words, the deep and heavy sobs that were seemingly taking over his body, making it impossible for his vocal cords to produce a real word. Everything coming out of the baby alpha sounded like the noises from a wounded animal. Then again, the way that the mans strong fingers clawed at Namjoon's soft jumper, a jumper he was pretty sure he had stolen from somebody else, felt as if an animal was clawing at him.

As they just sat there, Namjoon slowly rocking the younger man, it felt as if time had stopped, Namjoon's arousal completely gone. It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened, the words 'pull my hair' flowing over his head over and over again.

A part of his brain he wasn't proud of couldn't help, but question if he just wasn't a good enough lover, if that was why Jungkook had reacted the way he did. That maybe Namjoon just wasn't enough, but the logical part of his brain kicked his ass for his low self-esteem.

This wasn't about him, it could have been anybody else, but he was happy it was him. There had been something weird about Jungkook since the first moment that he had pushed Namjoon against the wall, but the omega hadn't thought it was something big, he had just thought it was regular nerves.

The teasing and the foreplay had been good, Namjoon had made sure that there was consent that it was something Jungkook wanted as well, and he wasn't stupid. Jungkook had wanted it just as much as Namjoon had.

It had been good, yes at times a little awkward as neither of them had that much experience, but it was still okay. Until Namjoon had done something that had reminded Jungkook of Vixx, no that wasn't right, Jungkook had asked him to pull his hair more than once, he had been trying not to think about them from the start hadn't he?

Maybe Namjoon should have felt used, but he didn't. He was honestly just sorry for Jungkook, the baby alpha had clearly tried to do everything not to think about them. To just get it out of his mind, he had wanted so badly to be good. To be faithful to his pack, to try and figure out his thoughts by himself.

God Namjoon wished that he had an answer for Jungkook, that he could just sit the alpha down and explain to him what love was. What the difference between different types of love was, how to figure out what is what, how to realise what your inner subgender was trying to tell you, Namjoon had no answer to any of it. The more he asked, the more he tried to wonder, the more he realised that the answer was different from each person.

It wasn't the first time that Namjoon wished that sub genders where like the tailed monsters in Naruto, that he could look inside his mind, find a prison he was keeping his beast of a subgender and have an actual talk with it. Sadly he knew what his subgender would tell him, probably something along the lines of 'bitch YOU DUMB' which was honestly fair.

"Are you laughing at me?" Jungkook's voice was rough from the abuse he had just put his vocal cords through. While he was seemingly okay to speak, his claw-like grip on the omega, not so different from last time Jungkook had cried in his arms.