Hidden Omega

You're like a single ray of light, This surpasses fluttering feelings.

The problem for Namjoon was that he had no idea how to actually explaining what he was doing. He had no idea why he had even joined BamBam and Mark in this weird game they were playing, it was normally not something he would have done. It simply wasn't him. He just... It just felt right, but now with Jackson sitting on the edge of the bed looking sad and lost, and he regrets everything leading up to this moment.

"Jackson, please it's nothing like that." Namjoon tried, but it didn't seem to calm the older alpha.

"Then what is it? I... I can't change if nobody tells me what is wrong, Mark does the same just clams up and leave me to figure stuff out myself!" Jackson just looked... pathetic there was no other way to put it, and Namjoon felt so guilty.

He should have seen it coming. He knew that no matter what Jackson tried to show to the outside world, he was easily insecure, something he tried to hide from the world, but Namjoon should really have known better.

Namjoon sat down next to Jackson and took his hand as softly as he could and intertwined their fingers. "This is going to be a weird conversation so try to understand me, because I don't really understand it myself." Namjoon took a deep breath to explain to probably the alpha he trusted the most. What the fuck was going on in his mess of a brain? "You know that BamBam is in half heat, and when he came to me to join him, I was a little confused at first. I never even heard of a half heat, so it was new to me."

Jackson in true Jackson fashion was ready to break his promise of silence to speak up, probably explaining something about how it wasn't Namjoon's fault he didn't know. Luckily Namjoon knew him, and before he even had a chance to speak, he had placed his free hand over Jackson's mouth interrupting his speech. "No first when I'm done," he took a deep breath before starting to speak again, "Jinyoung explained it to me, and for some reason, I agreed with it. I can't explain why I thought it was a good idea, it just made sense to me, it was like some part of me wanted to do it."

Namjoon sighed, removing his hand from Jackson's mouth and instead resting his head on Jackson's shoulder. They hadn't really had any time just for the two of them since Namjoon had gotten there and now he was about to leave. It was kinda sad. While yes Namjoon was happy that he had gotten to spend so much time with all other members of Got7, and he was happy that he had gotten so close with everybody, he felt happy with them.

"I tried to keep everybody from doing things too extreme, that was also the reason I took Yugyeom with me. I'm sorry if I hurt you I never meant to do that. I just sometimes struggle with controlling my instincts. I never had them so harsh as they are right now, plus Daesung-hyung warned me that I might end up suffering from half heats as well." He gave Jackson's hand a slight squeeze. "I'm sorry, it really had nothing to do with anything. I am happy with how you treat me, how any of you treat me. Really I promise."

Jackson leaned his head on top of Namjoon's. "Can I speak now?"

"Yeah, I am done explaining."

"I'm sorry I might have overreacted. After what happened with Mark, I just easily get insecure, and I'm always worried that I'm doing something wrong or that I'm not good enough. I took it out on you, I'm sorry Joonie,"

Namjoon felt Jackson's soft lips in his hair, and he closed his eyes for just a second to enjoy the moment. "When I go, promise me you will talk to Mark about it. This isn't healthy that you constantly worry about not being good enough, please tell me you will talk to him."

Jackson sighed, but Namjoon knew he had won when Jackson nodded and said in a low voice. "I promise it is just hard to start conversations like that. How do I start it without making it all about me? Hey Mark, you know how I almost made you not want us by being clingy? Yeah, that made me insecure?"