Harry Styles Oneshots // english

He's With Me #2

I didn't need to open my eyes to realize she was gone. Her absemce was felt as clearly as the soft breeze coming in through the window. It doesn't take a person's sight to know and when their soulmate has left, all warmth leaves too. The skin feels so cold, goosbumps rise and breathing hurts.Mt eyes opened and squeezed shut against the bright light illuminating the bedroom, and i turned to rest on my back with a groan. I'd forgotten goe annoying that could be in the morning, given how i hadn't slept in this bed recently, but rather spent my nights on the couch instead. I also wished i wasn't naked. Not by any means because i regretted the sex y/n and i had the night before, but because i imagined a pajama would protect me against the least some of the cold.

My fingers hesitantly reached over the side on which i'd seen y/n sleep only a few hours agi when a nightmare had pulled me from my sleep at some point throughout the night, and a heavy feeling settled onto my heart when the mattress's fabric didn even feel warm anymore. She must've been gone for a long while already.

I knew what this meant, it was the first though coming to my head, but instead of accepting it, my brain did the natural and most human thing to do: it went to denial.

Y/n could have gone anywhere, i decided. It didn't have to mean what i believed it did. Deep down i believed she was gone. Gone as in out of my life.
Maybe we'd run out of that tea she liked so much as always insisted on drinking in the morning or else the entire day was doomed, but when i thought about it, i couldn't have said if that still was her habit at all. I hadn't watched her drink that tea, or any tea, in a very long time.
I hissed at the cold feeling of the floor against my bare feet as i came to a rather tumling stand, but i didn't allow myself to gain my balance fullybefore quickly reaching down to the floor so i could reach for and pull up my boxers from last night. I'd change into new ones after a shower, i decided. Maybe y/n would even join me once she was back?
I walked into the hall of our house from where i had a view into the kitchen and living room. Both were deserted.

"Y/n?" i called out regardlessly, fear cursing though my veins and paralyzing my body.

She could not have left. Nothing would ever bring her to do that, i knew it. Or didn't i? Had i been wrong all this time that i believed to know for sure, that she'd alwats be waiting at home for me? Had my certanty been misplaced when i had believed she'd never abandon me, even though i had abandoned her?
She loved me. I'd seen it in her eyes whenever i'd allowed mine to find her's for a moment, noticing how her gaze had followed my every movement. I'd felt it in every touch we'd shared the night before, how she'd clung onto me and kissed me as if i were the only thing that kept her breathing.
Her love was ever present, like a comforting coat embracing me whenever i came home to her. It was a simple truth that promised me y/n's loyalty for always. But... hadn't i broken that very same promise too? And wasn't i still in love with her regardlessly?

My heart had still belonged to her when i'd given my body to someone else. And still, it'd be a lie to say i'd thought of her throughout the act. It hadn't been her face that i pictured, but the one of the woman i was hovering over and when she whined my name i hadn't compared it to the sound y/n made when we had sex. For those few moments, it was almost as if y/n had left my mind entirely and given it enough space for my thoughts to be clouded by the woman i was with and only her. It was her touch i craved in those moments and only her scent i wanted to cloud my head. Not y/n's.

Maybe y/n had left to get us breakfast? She'd done that before on special occasions. Us finding each other again surely counted as such, right? Perhaps she'd gone to get some of those avocado and cream cheese bagels the cafe down the road sold, aware of how much i loved them. A smile pulled at the corner of my mouth and i turned to walk back into the bedroom. I'd change quickly and then go make smoothies for the both of us, i decided, wanting to contribute at least something. My fingers pushed the hangers to the side in search for the particular shirt i had in mind and frowned when i couldn't find it anywhere. That was odd. I remembered distinctly how i'd hung the Styles shirt right next to the light blue one y/n'd given me a few months back, but there was no trace of it. Actually there was no trace of the blue shirt either. A frown formed on my forehead and suddenly i noticed how there were shirts hung up, which i knew i usually kept folded in my drawers. It just kept getting stranger, because where had those spare hangers suddenly come from?
That's when it finally sunk in. More of my cloths fit into the wardrobe, because hers weren't there anymore.
My feet hastily carried me to the bathroom where my eyes scanned the two glasses, holding toothbrushed and toothpaste. Only that it was just one toothbrush and that was mine, Her light green one, for which i always teased her as it looked like it was made for a child, was no where to be seen. Next i searched the drawers and again, found that all of my poducts where lined up neatly and all of y/n's missing. By now hands shook so hard the bottle of my cologne almost dropped to the floor and i quickly sat it back down to the spot which y/n's body spray had originally occupied.